Silent Smile

(One-shot)

Disclaimer: Do I look like owning Saiyuki?

Summary: That night, Hakkai is having a silent conversation with the most unlikely person ever. Sequel to Need. One-shot. Set somewhere in Homura arc, between episode 39 and 40.

A/N: Hi! I decided to write a sequel of my previous one-shot, Need... Dedicated for Saya3427 for encouraging me to write this (glomps). This fic will be also about HakkaiGoku friend relationship; yet, with addition of… well, figured out yourself XD And before I could get this beta-ed, all the mistakes are mine. Hope you'll enjoy!

……

Tell me… do you need me?

……

It was still raining.

Hakkai stared at the sleeping boy; watching small chest rise and fall in rhythm with his breath. It was near midnight, yet, the rain hadn't shown any signs of going to stop. Sighing, Hakkai moved from his previous spot beside the window to sit on the bed, which was occupied by Goku's small body. He stared at the boy's sleeping face as he recalled their earlier conversation.

Hakkai… can I… stay with you for a while…?

He remembered desperation swirling within those once innocent golden orbs.

Nothing, really. I'm fine, just let me go…

He remembered the fake smile Goku plastered.

I need someone… to cry on…

And finally, Goku's tears as the boy hugged him, crying out his heart contents.

Green eyes darkened. Hakkai was not going to forgive Homura for breaking Goku like this. For stealing his smile.

Hakkai couldn't stand seeing Goku crying. He used to see the happy and cheerful Goku, wearing the wide and innocent smile of his. He envied Goku, because the boy could really smile with his whole heart; the smile that was the exact reflection of his feelings. Unlike him, Goku wore no mask. Until now.

Now Goku's smile had become somehow like his. He didn't like it when Goku placed his fake smile; because it reminded him on his own. Reminded him to the reason why he wore that fake smile at the first place. Reminded him why he never smiled a true smile anymore…

Hakkai's features relaxed as he saw Goku stirred a little, mumbling incoherent words in his deep slumber as he did so.

He must be having a dream by now, Hakkai thought, smiling slightly to himself as he brought his hand closer to Goku to brush a few strands of brown hair from his face.

His hand stopped as he felt a breeze of sudden presence. He was not alone.

"That would not be wise, Tenpou Gensui. I would not do that if I were you."

Hakkai froze as the cold whisper reached him. Turning abruptly, his emerald eyes met with a pair of mismatched golden-sapphire. Toushin Homura Taishi was standing near the window, wearing his usual cocky smirk.

But surprise didn't caught Hakkai off guard for long. As soon as he regained his composure, he immediately stood and hissed threateningly, "Homura. What are you doing here?"

He knew it was pointless to ask how the War God even managed to get in here. Go figure. He was a god, after all.

Ignoring Hakkai's question, Homura just stepped closer. Hakkai tensed and moved himself to a fighting position.

"Relax, Tenpou Gensui. I mean no harm. I'm just feeling like advising you that it's not a good idea to do anything that might wake Son Goku. He hasn't been sleeping well these past few nights." Homura spoke calmly as he stopped in the center of the room, staring at the stiffened Hakkai and the sleeping Goku.

"You've been spying on him?" Hakkai glared, his green eyes narrowed.

Homura just smirked, "That was such a crude term, Tenpou Gensui. I think that 'observing' might be a better way of saying it." His smirk grew.

Hakkai stared at the War God with barely suppressed anger hidden beneath his expert mask.

"What do you want to do with Goku, Homura? Are you planning to kidnap him again? That will not work this time. Not while I'm here." He said with dark and serious tone.

Again, Homura just smirked.

"Do relax, Tenpou Gensui. I have no intention of taking Son Goku… yet. When the time comes, he will choose to come with me himself."

Mismatched eyes blazed with unreadable emotions as he continued to speak.

"I just thought about giving him a visit, since our last encounter does not appear to be a good experience for him." Homura ended his words, weird emotions still swirling within his mismatched eyes as he kept his gaze locked at Goku.

Hakkai narrowed his eyes as he moved himself to keep Goku out from the Toushin's stare. He had had the impression from the beginning that Homura has an odd obsession for Goku. The incident last week had confirmed it. Yet, he didn't expect that the War God was a creepy stalker. Did he really want Goku that much? Then, why did he release him? He had had Goku in his hands, away from them, and completely at his mercy. Why…

"Why are you so interested in Goku, Homura? What do you want him for?" Hakkai couldn't help asking, curiosity didn't go unnoticed within the calm voice of his.

Homura's eyes went dark for a brief moment before responding with a cold tone.

"For revenge."

This time, Hakkai's eyes widened.

"Pardon?"

Revenge…?

"I want revenge. I swear to my honor that I will take revenge of those bastards… who took away my loved one…" Homura spoke between clenched teeth, unusual emotion filled his deep voice, "I'll distinguish them, those bastards. They will disappear forever, they will burn out until there will be nothing more to recognize. And to do that, I need Son Goku's assistance. As my heretic fellow, he should be glad to help me carry on the revenge…"

The words caught Hakkai horror-struck.

Revenge…

His mind flashed back to the fated day three years ago.

Losing the loved one…

He could almost see the blood that stained his hands, the color of crimson that had been haunting him for years.

I couldn't protect her… my one true love…

Hakkai felt a pang in his heart as Homura's words triggered the old nightmare back. He stared at the Toushin's solemn mismatched eyes.

Homura… he seeks revenge as well. He also lost his loved one. Just like me…

"Perhaps… we're alike." Hakkai unconsciously said, drawing curious look from the Toushin.

"Pardon?"

Hakkai closed his eyes as remembrance filled his mind.

"We're alike. I know exactly how it feels to lose the one you love... Feeling the wave of revenge... And had these hands stained... The blood that will never disappear..."

Green eyes opened back, staring at mismatched golden-sapphire.

"I know I'm in no position to say this, but... revenge will bring nothing, Homura. It will only cause you more pain. You still have the chance to stop, before your hands get stained."

Before you become like me...

Homura just stared back at those emerald eyes, studying the seriousness within it. With a sigh, the War God replied, "I'm afraid I can't stop. I've sworn that I will take revenge, no matter what. Besides..." Homura stopped for a brief moment, before continuing with a sad smile, "I've already stained."

Hakkai could only stare as Homura turned his back, his flame-patterned robe seeped slightly on his shoulders.

"I never expected to be having such an interesting conversation with you, Tenpou Gensui. You have my thanks." His lips once again curved into his usual smirk.

"I shall take my leaving now. Say hello for Son Goku from me."

"Wait, Homura." Hakkai suddenly spoke, capturing the Toushin's attention back.

Homura stopped and turned facing determined green eyes once again, with questioning looks on his face.

Inhaling deeply, Hakkai spoke with a determined tone.

"A few weeks ago, I met a boy in an old city. Just like you and me, he also seek revenge." Hakkai stopped, allowing Homura to absorb his words, "The boy was hurt; he lost people he loved, in a cruel way. And now, he wanted revenge and destroy anything." Green eyes went dark for a brief moment, "After I met him, do you know what I said to him?"

Homura remained unresponsive, as Hakkai continued.

"I told him that destroying what you hate, will not create a world you long for, I promise."

Silence fell in the room. The only sound audible were the pouring rain outside and Goku's even breath.

"I see..." Homura spoke quietly, solemn filled his eyes, "And here I'm expecting an interesting conversation with you, Tenpou Gensui. Just as I thought, only Son Goku could amuse me." His voice was carrying a tinge of coldness within.

Hakkai felt his heart drop at Homura's statement.

It's too late... he's too blind...

"It seems that you're too blinded with revenge to even consider my warning, Homura." Hakkai spoke, without losing his cool, "I know from the beginning that I'm in no position to judge much less control your actions. You have the decision of your own mind, and I have no right to interfere. However," his voice grew dark and serious, "If you start dragging Goku into your mess, don't expect me to just sit tight and watch."

Homura grew his smirk at the exclamation, "Very interesting. I will take the challenge, Tenpou Gensio. Son Goku is the key of my plan. I will possess him no matter what." Mismatched eyes blazed with weird emotion as he spoke, "Let's see if you can prevent me from laying my hands on him. One thing for sure, Son Goku will become mine, sooner or later. Prepare yourself, Tenpou Gensui; soon enough, the Sanzo-ikkou will become the Sanzo-trio." Homura ended his words with a self-satisfied smirk.

Hakkai just stared back at the War God's threat; his emerald eyes went unblinking for a brief moment.

"You'll die before you can even touch him."

Homura let out a slight amused chuckle before turning his back once again, preparing himself to leave.

"I'm looking forward for it. And tell Son Goku to become stronger. In our next encounter, I won't hold back. But for now, farewell."

Hakkai could sense weird emotions filled Homura's voice as the War God spoke his final words and vanished into thin air. Inhaling deeply, Hakkai loosened his stiff muscles, relaxing his tensed features. Sighing, he moved back to his previous spot beside Goku, who was still deep in his slumber. Hakkai couldn't help but smile at the fact that having Homura visiting them didn't even wake him up. Maybe he really hadn't been sleeping well these past few days, just like Homura said.

Homura...

When the time comes, Son Goku will become mine...

Hakkai's features went grim as he recalled Homura's ultimatum. He stared at Goku's sleeping face, determination in his eyes. He won't ever let Homura lay his hands on Goku ever again. He knew that no matter how tempting the War God is, Goku will never happy by his side. Homura will only cause Goku pain and suffering.

Closing his eyes in solemn, Hakkai slowly made a decision.

I will protect Goku...

I will never let the same thing happen again...

I won't lose those who are precious to me...

Now that I've lost Kanan... I couldn't bear losing someone again...

Drowning in his thought, Hakkai unconsciously brought his hand closer to Goku's face and caressed his cheeks softly. He didn't realize what he was doing until he heard a soft groan escaped Goku's lips and felt the boy stirred under his touch.

Goku was waking up.

Surprised, Hakkai immediately pulled back his hands.

"Gomennasai!! I didn't mean to..." he hastily apologized as he drew himself away from the bed.

"It's alright, Hakkai," Goku mumbled, slumber hadn't quite left his eyes as he moved himself into a sitting position, stretching his sore muscles. "I'm the one who should apologize, for dozing off all of a sudden... Gomen, Hakkai, for causing you so much trouble..." he bowed his head, his brown bangs shadowing his eyes.

Hakkai suppressed a pang in his heart as he pulled Goku towards him and secured his arms around the boy's shoulder.

"Ha... Hakkai?" Goku asked nervously, looking up at the older man. He gasped as he realized his face was just an inch from Hakkai's. His face burned as he felt Hakkai's warm body pressed so close against him.

"Wha... What are you...?"

"Ssh..." Hakkai soothed him; moving his hand to pat Goku's head gently, ruffling the smooth brown hair. "Just go back to sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping well these past few nights."

Golden eyes widened, "How'd you..."

"Never mind." Hakkai whispered, embracing Goku tighter and stroking his small back gently. "You don't have to think about anything. Just relax. Everything is fine... I'm here with you..." he whispered gently, resting Goku's head onto his chest.

Goku stirred uneasy for a brief moment, before finally giving in to the embrace of the older one.

"Ne, Hakkai..." Goku muttered, slumber finally caught up with him due to Hakkai's warmth and soft caress. "Sankyuu, na."

"For what?" Hakkai asked gently, closing his eyes in solemn as he felt Goku smiled against his chest.

"Nothin'. Just feelin' like sayin' it." Golden eyes closed slowly as the boy mumbled, "G'nite, Hakkai..."

Hakkai relaxed as Goku's breath slowly became calm and even. Once he was sure that the boy had already fallen asleep, he placed the sleeping boy gently on the bed, and covered the small body with a warm blanked.

"Good night, Goku."

The rain had stopped.

Hakkai stared at the window, through the moistened glass. To the brighter sky, carrying the brighter day.

Homura, I was wrong.

We're not that alike.

Unlike you, I still have something to protect...

OWARI

A/N: Done! As usual, the ending is totally in ruins. All too sappy and too much oocness (cries out loud). Anyway, one of Hakkai's quotes here comes from Saiyuki ep. 37. That episode is just cute!

And HakkaiGoku has somehow become one my favorite pairings. I dunno, writing Hakkai just... feels different. I'm still a beginner at writing Hakkai, so please forgive me if Hakkai's kinda ooc here

Anyway, please tell me what you think, any comments will be appreciated.

Ja ne!