Booth watched as Brennan embraced her father. For a minute, he saw her walls drop. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her hands grasped her father's almost reverently. He pushed his hands further down into his pockets, his fingers finding the poker chip he carried around with him religiously.
She deserves to be happy.
Casting one last glance towards his partner, Booth slowly descended the concrete steps. He thought he heard someone call his name, but he kept walking. He had said yes. He had looked at her when he had been asked if she had had enough time to murder Kirby, whether she would be capable of murder. She had nodded imperceptibly towards him. That hadn't made him feel any better.
This is a lot of heart Bones.
'Booth!' Brennan's voice finally penetrated his thoughts. He sighed inwardly. He couldn't speak to her now. Something had seized his heart, was slowly eating away at his mind after he had stepped down from the witness stand.
'Booth!' This time her voice was insistent. Realizing how stubborn Brennan was on a normal day, Booth gave in to the inevitable and slowed down. She was standing beside him now, her hair flying from her face and her arms wrapped tightly around her to ward away the slight nip in the air.
'You should be with your family Bones,' Booth said. He tried to force a sense of normalcy into his tone.
'Aren't you coming to the diner?' She asked.
'Nah. You and the squint squad celebrate with your dad and Russ. I'm going to go back to the office. Paperwork,' Booth mumbled.
He had said yes.
Brennan narrowed her eyes at him.
'I'll come with you,' she answered. Ignoring his protests, Booth saw her look over at Angela. Some kind of unspoken communication occurred because the next thing he knew, Angela was ushering everyone towards the diner and Brennan was still next to him.
Angela had refused to testify. Why didn't I refuse to testify?
She waited silently beside him. Shrugging his shoulders, Booth led the way towards the Hoover building. The sun beat down on the sidewalk, casting shadows as they both put one foot in front of the other.
'Are you going to tell me what's wrong?' Brennan finally asked.
'Nothing's wrong Bones, okay?'
'You're not talking. When you don't talk its because you're either thinking about a case or feeling guilty. And since you don't have that deep furrow right there,' Brennan said, gently tapping Booth on the forehead, 'I want to know why you feel guilty.'
Booth stopped to look at her. Her features were soft but there was a hard edge of concern on her face. Booth exhaled noisily.
'Can we not do this?' He tried, pushing his fingers through his hair. 'It's done. It doesn't matter.'
'Obviously it does,' she replied plainly. Silence once again reigned over them.
'There's no need to feel guilty Booth. You answered the question truthfully,' she said.
You answered the question truthfully.
Those words made Booth snap.
'No Bones, it is not okay that I had to say and think those things alright? It doesn't even begin to reach the meaning of okay!'
Bones ramming the knife into Kirby's neck. Bones wrapping the body. Bones standing by passively as Kirby's body burned.
'That day at the diner, I hypothesized with you. I knew you could do it Booth. I wouldn't have let it happen if I didn't know you could do it.'
'You wanted me to think that you could kill someone?' Booth questioned incredulously.
'Everyone is capable of taking a life Booth,' Brennan explained patiently. 'Society conditions each of us a certain way. Sometimes it reveals that piece of us that let's us end the life of another without feeling remorse.'
'No,' Booth almost shouted. His raised voice was starting to draw a few stares. 'You aren't capable of that. You're rational and compartmentalized but there is no way the Temperance Brennan I know is capable to do anything like that!'
He felt Brennan grasp his hand, rubbing her thumb soothingly over his knuckles like that time at the cemetery.
'I felt like I've betrayed you,' he finally whispered. Brennan squeezed his hand tightly.
'You could never do that Booth,' she said fiercely. 'While it might be unpleasant to think that someone you care about can kill, it doesn't mean you care for them any less.'
'What-' Booth asked, confused.
'You took lives as a sniper. You killed. I know you can and will kill if you need to. That hasn't changed how I see you,' Brennan said. Booth found himself staring deeply into a pair of blue eyes. He noticed that her irises were shot through with hints of green when the sun struck her face just so.
'You've stuck by me Booth,' Brennan forced out, her eyes starting to glisten. 'My father left. Russ left. But you never did. What you did today wasn't a betrayal. It just took a lot of heart.'
Booth looked at her. Their hands were still entwined and Booth wondered distantly if Brennan was aware of this.
'I just need some time to sort things through,' Booth admitted. He saw Brennan nod in understanding. Gently, she disentangled their hands. Booth found himself missing her touch.
Then her lips were on his cheek. Something zipped through his body and he found himself motionless.
'Thank you Booth.'
He watched her walk away from him. He would do anything for her if she asked.
Even if it means thinking she's a murderer.