A/N: So you should read the first in this series, including the author's note, first!
Warnings: swearing, spoilers for seasons 1 and 2 of AOS, possibly jossed because I've only seen part of AOS, beware the canon mashup (Hawkeye original comics, Hawkeye by Matt Fraction, and MCU), and a non Phil/Clint ending.
"He's alive, Nat. He's fucking alive," Clint said, with a perfectly steady voice and tears on his face. Natasha watched the footage with nary an expression.
"Would you like me to disembowel him for you?" she asked calmly.
"No. No, it's not like SHIELD doesn't ask shit like this from the upper levels. I've seen it done before. They don't ever tell the significant others. And I knew Phil would always put SHIELD first if it was important. I always told him he should. I just—I just didn't expect it to hurt so much, Nat."
Natasha held him and didn't say anything. Clint went to the range and shot for an hour, and didn't hit a single bulls-eye. Natasha contemplated going to disembowel Phil anyway.
"Go to him," she told Clint. "Go and ask him about it. Whatever happens, at least you won't be here doing this."
"Closure," agreed Steve, who hadn't been invited to the conversation but was stubbornly being in it anyway.
So Clint went. Clint went and yelled at Phil, and Phil was stubborn and said it was the regs, Clint, why should he expect special treatment?
Melinda May caught up with Clint on his way out and told him to ask Skye about Project TAHITI. Skye told a tale of forced memory wipes, strange drawings, and pain beyond imagining, and Clint began to put the pieces together.
"If he thought he wasn't himself, he might think that was reason enough not to let me in, even when it became clear this wasn't a temporary assignment," he told Melinda, who watched him imperviously and didn't contradict him.
"I know why you didn't tell me," he said to Phil, who looked like he was going to say "I've been telling you why all along," but Clint knew Phil better than that. "TAHITI," was all Clint said, and Phil dropped the act. "I get it," Clint repeated, "but I can't trust you anymore."
Phil said he understood. He didn't trust himself, either. It wasn't a good time for him to be in a relationship at all.
"Soulmates don't always work out," said Skye as he made to leave the base. He turned to look at her.
"My first soulmate was HYDRA. Told me we couldn't act on it because he was my SO. Then I became a full-grown baby agent, got my badge, and he told me he wanted to try it. And then he betrayed us all, Phil stashed him in the basement, and I never know whether anything he says to me is because in his own twisted way, he actually does love me, or he's playing on the fact I don't have another soulmate to gaslight me."
"That sucks," said Clint.
"No kidding," said Skye.
Clint thanked her, and went home feeling like he understood the world a little better, even if he wasn't particularly happy about it.
Clint decided to try living without looking around corners for a soulmate for awhile. He did the Avengers thing. He met Kate Bishop and decided he'd found a second platonic soulmate. He amended the rule to allow for those. He hung out with Nat and Kate, and then he went freelance. Bobbi Morse caught up to him after that.
When he felt the tingle at her touch, his first impulse was to run for the hills. He'd been dating a lovely woman who claimed to prefer relationships without all the expectations of soulmates. But then everything went to hell, and everything about the way he and Bobbi worked was just…seamless. Kate and Nat told him they were good together. Bobbi balanced his natural tendency to deal with everything himself, much the same way Phil had, but differently. He supposed eloping after a week of recuperation was a bit ridiculous, but hell. Clint was tired of running. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect forever, but Bobbi could be good for him now, and Clint figured he needed some of that.
