She couldn't do this anymore. She wasn't a mother-type. She had never been. She wasn't someone to take on responsibility for others. She had never asked for this in the first place. Why her? Because she was female? Well, thanks a lot. She had better things to do than to take care of a baby. Yes, the little one was a good sleeper, but he wasn't good at passing time on his own. The baby required most of her time. She felt more imprisoned than she had ever imagined possible.
She needed a solution. She couldn't go on like this. She needed to give him away. Someone who would give him the love he needed. Someone who was good with children, or at least better than her.
But she couldn't. Not to anybody at least. And she couldn't let the others know. Not yet. Not before she had found the right new home for the baby.
It wasn't until some days later, when she had gone to the supermarket, that she had an idea. It was when she had passed a CD rack, glimpsing uninterested at the CDs. Her indifference was gone when she saw a cover saying:
DriveSHAFT : In Memoriam of our RockGod Charlie Pace
Charlie. She felt a pang in her chest. It was thanks to him that they had finally been found. It was thanks to him that she was here now. She was here, but he wasn't. He had risked his life for the baby she was about to give away.
She couldn't help, but took the CD and looked at its booklet. There were old pictures of Charlie, from a time long before she had known him, before they had met on that island. The last page had a collage of pictures of Charlie covering all ages. But he was never alone on these pictures; he was with another boy/man, slightly older than him.
"Always to be missed, never to be forgotten." it said on top of that collage, on the bottom it read: "Your brother Liam with Karen and Meghan"
There it was: her solution. A family. A family that could feel connected to the baby that was unofficially Charlie's.
As soon as she was home she did what she could to get the address of Charlie's brother. She didn't bother with a telephone number, because, if she stood in his doorway with the baby, it might be harder for him to just send her away; on the phone on the other hand, he could simply hang up and leave her in her unwanted situation.
It didn't even bother her that she had to go to Australia for this. As long as she saw the chance of getting rid of her responsibility she would do whatever it took.
When the door opened and she was looked at suspiciously by a little blonde girl, she felt one step closer to her goal.
"Can I talk to your daddy, please?" she asked.
The girl said nothing, but went away, leaving the door slightly open. A few moments later, she came back with her father holding her hand.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"My name is Kate Austen, this is Aaron. I'm one of the Oceanic 6 and I knew your brother."
It took the older Pace several minutes to answer, emotions and memories racing his mind.
"Come in," he finally said, showing her in and leading the way to the living room. He offered her the sofa, while he sat on the easy chair opposite her, letting his daughter sit on his lap.
"I'm sorry to barge in like this," Kate started, "I – I wanted to tell you the truth about your brother, and – and also wanted to ask you a favour."
Liam nodded, telling her to go on.
"Charlie survived the crash. He was a good man. He took care of Claire, a pregnant girl, who also survived the crash. Charlie was brave and he wanted to help. He did help. And -," Kate sighed heavily, pressing Aaron closer to her chest, "It was him who finally made it possible we were rescued. He died rescuing us. He gave his live to save Claire and her son, Aaron."
"How?" It was the first thing Liam asked.
"He drowned. He – he… There was a station, under water, it was blocking all radio signal to and from the island. He dove down – "
"Charlie didn't swim," his brother objected, his eyes glistening.
"He dove down to fix the jamming equipment, he dove down so Claire and Aaron could be rescued, so we could be rescued."
"He – he sacrificed himself for a girl and her child…?" Liam rather stated than asked, obviously having problems to keep his voice from cracking.
"He was like a father for Aaron. He was never asked for it, it was all his free will. He cared about them more than about his own life. He didn't care, Aaron wasn't his own. He had kind of unofficially adopted him as his son. I think that's why he left him this:" Kate took a small object out of her pocket, a ring that Liam had no problem recognizing. Two big letters were on this ring. A big D and a big S. The heirloom which Liam had been given by his mother and which he had given his little brother that one Christmas in Finland when they were on tour with Driveshaft.
"Yes, he definitely considered him his son," Liam acquiesced and finally one smallish tear ran from the corner of his eye. His daughter kneeled up on his lap and wiped it away.
"Don't cry, Daddy. Charlie's with the Angels. He's alright."
Liam smiled softly at her, pulling her into a hug.
"So," he began, "Why's Aaron with you? Where's Claire?"
Another huge sigh on Kate's side.
"She didn't make it." Kate wiped her eyes, which were still dry though. "This island was horrible. We faced many dangers, and in the end only few of us made it. We were over forty when the plane crashed, but only 6 of us got rescued in the end." Kate made a pause. "She shouldn't have had to die," she said when she finally went on. "She had Aaron who needed me. I had no one."
"How did she die?"
"I don't know. I wasn't with her when it happened and those who were wouldn't talk about it. The last days on the island were extremely tense and everyone started mistrusting every one."
"I see."
"As I said, she shouldn't have died, considering Aaron still needed her. Now he's my responsibility and … I don't think I'm the right person to take care of him. To take care of any child. I'm not good with children, I've never been and never might be."
"So that's – that's … the favour?"
"I know, I shouldn't burst in like this, I shouldn't even want to give the boy away like this, but – I can't Aaron give what he needs, what he's worth… I thought that … since … he was Charlie's child, kind of, he would be far better off with Charlie's family. With people, who will see more in him than just a child to take care of, but Charlie's heir. I'm sure both Charlie and Claire would have wanted it that way."
Liam nodded slightly in agreement that said something to his daughter who then ran off.
"I can see your way of thinking, and, actually, I would do it, in honour of my brother. But you'll understand that it's not my decision to make alone. "I'll have to talk to my wife."
This time it was Kate's turn to only nod.
"What d'you need to talk to me about?" asked a woman standing in the door and smiling at Liam.
"I'll be right back." Liam told Kate and got up. "Can I talk to you for a second, Karen?" he asked his wife, already leading her from the living room.
When Kate left the house, she felt weird. She was sure that as soon as Jack found out he'd sure address her with reproaches. On the other hand, he'd come see her again with less hesitation.
But Kate also knew that she had done the right thing.
Aaron would have a loving family. He would have a sister.
The front door was already closed after her, while she still stood on the porch. She took an envelope out of her handbag. In big letters she had already written "Aaron" on it. She left it on the porch.
In it were the two only things – apart from the ring, which she had already left with Liam – which Aaron would ever posses from his parents: Claire's Diary and Charlie's Greatest Hits.
