"Gosh, I'm dreadfully hungry!"
Sweeney Todd looked up at his companion and blinked blearily.
"What'd you say? Sorry, that gin's gone to my head." Mrs. Lovett rolled her eyes. "I said I'm dreadfully hungry!"
Sweeney grinned demonically. "I know exactly what you mean love, being a murderer sure works up a ferocious appetite!"
Mrs. Lovett finished beating a pie crust with a rolling pin, smiling slightly. "It's a darn right shame there's not a good pizza parlor on Fleet Street." She sighed.
Sweeney snorted. "I know, the only food joint around here is Anthony's Deli, and I'm sorry to say, but that lad cant even make a sandwich; too busy singing 'bout some girl named Johanna..."
Mrs. Lovett smirked. She sighed drearily once again as she contemplated her pie crust. "An' it seems that no one likes my meat pies deary...it's an awful waste of a perfectly good priest!" she laughed.
Both Sweeney and Lovett sat in silence for a moment, thinking. In sync, they both whipped their heads up to stare at each other, and after a moment both realized the other's thoughts. In a moment of childish competition they both shouted, "I thought of it first!"
The glared at each other moodily. Mr. Todd was the first to speak. "Oh, no you didn't!"
Lovett crossed her arms and shouted, "Oh yes I did!"
Sweeney pulled out his razor from his holster. Lovett jumped until he started stroking it tenderly while holding it up to his ear. He paused as if listening to it for a few seconds before muttering, "Are you sure?"
Lovett rolled her eyes. "Is that the razor you're always talking to?"
Sweeney turned to glare at her. "His name is JEREMY!" he protested. He turned back to his razor. "Don't worry my sweets, she didn't mean it in a bad way…"
Lovett watched the peculiar sight for a few moments before turning away and muttering, "He loves that darned razor more then me."
Sweeney jerked around. "No flipping duh!" he responded sarcastically.
Lovett glared at him again. The tension hung in the air for a minute before Lovett asked, "What was our idea again?"
Sweeney stroked his razor again. "I was thinking Jeremy would make a lovely pizza cutter." He murmured dreamily. "Was that your idea as well?"
"Um…no. I was thinking that I could make some really cheap pepperoni out of your victims and sell them on pizza since nobody seems to like my pies…"
"Hey we didn't have the same idea!" Sweeney interrupted.
Lovett rolled her eyes.
Ding!
"Oh look, the poet's done!" she exclaimed. She bustled over to the oven and pulled out a pie.
Sweeney glanced at her. "Poet?"
Lovett nodded and took a whiff of the pizza. She wrinkled her nose automatically. "Ew, even I think that's a nasty pie!" She began to hum to herself, "The problem with poet is how do you know it's deceased? Try the priest!"
Suddenly, Sweeney jumped up out of his chair, knocking it to the floor and shrieked, "That's it! I'm a genius!"
. "An evil genius my sweets?" Lovett asked without even looking up.
"Well, yes, but anyways…I'LL open that pizza parlor! I can see it now! SWEENEY'S DEMONIC PIZZA OF FLEET STREET!"
Lovett finally looked over, amused. "Do you really want to put 'demonic' in the name, love? Just be as plain as day about it?
Sweeney looked at her, surprised that she didn't understand. "Well yes, yes I do. It throws off the suspicious."
"Well, okay then…"
"And you can turn my victims into meat for the pizza and…"
"And?"
"And Jeremy can cut the pizza into slices! I'm an evil genius I tell you!"
Lovett thought for a minute. "Well then I guess I better start converting my shop into a pizzeria." She thought out loud. "Oh, and you're going to have to grow a thin little mustache."
"Why on Earth would I do that?" Sweeney protested. "I already know one mad "Italian" soprano barber, and I do not want to be like him!"
"All pizza makers have those mustaches! And those adorable lil' accents!" Lovett answered calmly.
"And I s'pose next you'll be telling me to wear a chef's hat right?" the barber/ pizza man muttered sarcastically.
Lovett grinned and placed a hat on Sweeney with a flourish. "You bet dearest!" she smiled.
Sweeney sighed as Lovett began to convert her pie crust to a pizza crust. The pizza shop was on its way!