A/N: So I read Crazy to Suppose I'd Ever Be the One You Chose ( archive of our own dot org /works/3068480, remove spaces and make the dot a dot) which you should totally read first, because it goes a lot more into detail about how you encounter a potential soulmate and the choices you have after that. But it seemed to me to imply 1) that a person could have more than one soulmate over a lifetime and 2) that a person might or might not choose to be with a given soulmate. I extrapolated this to also mean that some people might not have soulmates. It solves a lot of the problems of the soulmate trope for me. I asked if I could use the idea, was given permission, and ran with it. This is the first in a series.
Warnings: amatonormativity, ace/aro erasure, very tumblr, mention of possible abuse.
"I don't get it," Clint told Natasha once. "We get each other. We've saved each other's lives. There's no one I trust more. There's no one who's ever fit me so perfectly. But I don't get so much as a tingle when I touch your hand."
Natasha smiled at him, and it looked sadder than Clint had ever seen her. "If it wasn't you, it wasn't going to be anyone," she told him. "I've never felt it."
"Seriously?" Clint had heard of people who didn't find a potential soulmate until they were older, but he himself had felt no less than eight people's hands spark when they touched his. His mother told him he loved easy. Barney told him he was a sap. Trickshot told him he was a liability. Phil Coulson told him he was adaptable enough to fit into many different people's lives, years later.
Phil asked them if they were together, awkward as Phil tried never to be. Natasha smiled like a cat and told him love was for children.
"I wondered," Phil said later to Clint, "if that was why you didn't do anything when you felt it."
"For you?" And Clint started to laugh. "No, see, it was the other way around."
"You thought Natasha and I would be soulmates?" Phil looked very confused.
"You're the ninth soulmate I've found, Phil," said Clint. "Most of 'em have already found a soulmate they're happy with. I've learned not to get my hopes up."
Phil looked horrified and kissed him.
"Did you have a soulmate in the past who hurt you?" Phil asked Natasha, seated in his office. "Because not all soulmate relationships work out, and some are downright unhealthy, but they can be beautiful."
"Phil," said Natasha gently, "you're good for Clint. I'm glad you're happy. But I have never had a soulmate, and, honestly, I'm happy without one. I don't like the thought of a relationship, I don't enjoy sex; honestly, the only thing I'd want out of a soulmate would be somebody to have my back, and I have that. Please stop trying to fix me."
Phil apologized profusely, did several days' worth of research, and then called Natasha back in. He turned his monitor around to face her, and left her to it, even as Natasha called over his shoulder, "You want me to look at somebody's tumblr?"
The first post was a Rumi quote. "The most important soulmate can be the one you choose for yourself, without lightning." The commentary below read "The soulmate touch in Persian directly translates to 'lightning' and I think that's so cool." "You're missing the whole point—he's saying a platonic soulmate can be just as good as a romantic one, even though you don't get little tinglies when you find them." "Don't tell me platonic soulmates don't exist. Aro-ace, been having the time of my life with my best friend for 10+ years, no romo."
The next post was a diagram of a line with "aromantic" at one end and "hyperomantic" at the other. "Romantism is a spectrum!" the text read. "Some people daydream about finding a soulmate they'll spend the rest of their lives with, and some don't want one at all. Some people encounter up to 20 potential soulmates, and some never find one. Amazingly, these correlate! Don't worry, if you want love, you'll find it. If you really, really don't—never fear, you probably won't have to let anyone down easy."
"Stop amatonormativity—aromantics are just as valid as people with soulmates!" was the next.
"Kill this idea that finding a soulmate is the endgoal of life," read the next.
The last post on the page merely read, "ARO PRIDE" emblazoned over a striped flag.
Natasha left, curled round Clint, and said nothing. Clint knew better than to ask, and cuddled her back.
They never talked about it, but Phil knew Natasha knew he was there when Melinda was awkwardly asking her if she was with a soulmate, and she answered, "I'm aromantic. Not looking for a soulmate, probably don't have one. And that's fine by me."
"Well, that's one complication I don't have to worry about," Melinda answered. "Sparring match?"
A/N:
Rumi has not said anything of the sort that I know of, but I like to think he would.
