Don't Tell

Summary: John and Rodney have been a couple for a few weeks now and John doesn't want anyone to know. But what will happen when their relationship is no longer against the rules?

Warning: Slash

A/N: I'm not sure what happened when I wrote this. I guess I wanted to support the repeal of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' and for some reason this little fic popped out. Enjoy!

"It's nearly 0200. I need to get back to my room and get some sleep." John Sheppard swung his legs out from under the sheet so he could pull back on his pants. His bedmate protested weakly by grabbing his arm.

"Why can't you just sleep here?" There was just the hint of a whine in Rodney McKay's voice.

"How many times do we have to go over this? I can't be seen leaving from your room in the morning." John leaned over to kiss Rodney softly on the lips. It was still slightly strange to kiss the other man, but he didn't want to quit anytime soon. He turned his attention to finding his shoes that were scattered on the floor with the rest of his clothes. Without warning he felt Rodney's fingers graze the bare skin of his back as they lightly spiraled across his shoulder blades. He shivered involuntarily, feeling a jerk in his nether regions.

He bolted out of the bed to cut off the feeling. Turning back to Rodney he was met with a hurt expression. "I'm sorry." He suddenly felt embarrassed. "I don't want to get another" he motioned to his crotch, "you know." Tonight was the third time they'd shared each other's bed. And yet it was still difficult to talk to Rodney about something as intimate as his penis.

The admission caused McKay to laugh, "Yeah that would be terrible." He said it with slightly too much sarcasm. "Then you'd have to stay here so I could take care of it."

They'd only been together for two weeks, ever since Rodney had come to his quarters in the middle of the night and told him how he was feeling. Then the scientist had told him he would ask to be reassigned somewhere on Earth because being around John was just too much torture. When Sheppard had heard that something inside him had snapped. At first he'd been completely put off, after all there was just no nice way to learn that another dude had a crush on you, but he wouldn't let Rodney leave. He was just too important for Atlantis to lose him. They'd talked for hours about it, argued, screamed at each other, but it had ended in Sheppard realizing that he didn't want McKay to leave, not just because Atlantis needed him, but because he needed him too. Then John had hugged him and his body had responded in a way it had no right to, but Rodney had felt it and that was the end, or if you were optimistic, the beginning.

Rodney hadn't been demanding. He had told him that he could ignore it if he wanted to, even though in his own experience ignoring something like the fact that you were bisexual was not a good idea, he'd said it was okay if John didn't acknowledge it. And that had been Sheppard's plan, but of course nothing went as planned.

They'd almost been killed by the Replicators for what seemed like the millionth time, when it had sunk into John's brain that it was just no use lying to himself anymore. That night he'd been the one to knock on Rodney's door in the middle of the night. As soon as he'd been let in he'd kissed McKay. It was a strange sensation, knowing he shouldn't like it, but enjoying it nonetheless.

John could feel the other man's eyes on him as he got dressed. Rodney had acquired an annoying habit of watching every little move he made since the night that they'd kissed.

"You know that if I make you uncomfortable you can just tell me, right?"

"I don't like when you make comments like that. It makes me feel like a woman." He knew Rodney would know he meant the comment about his erection.

Rodney blinked at him. "Okay. No seducing of John Sheppard. Got it."

The other man had taken that better than he'd expected. "And I really don't want anyone to know just yet so please don't ask me to stay anymore." Because it really makes it hard to leave, he finished in his head. McKay was actually very discreet, which was one thing that John had been adamant about.

"Sure," Rodney agreed.

He wondered how long it would take before that promise was forgotten. "Oh, and that little grunting noise you make-"

"What?"

"Don't stop doing that." He received a grin for that. He was now fully dressed and ready to take off. With one last kiss he said, "See you tomorrow, Doctor McKay."

"Good night Colonel."

They both laughed at the faux formality.

As John made his way to his own room, trying not to be seen (on Atlantis someone was always awake) he felt just little like he was back in high school sneaking out of the house.

The next evening Sheppard was eating dinner with Teyla and Ronon when Rodney joined them with a tray loaded with food. He noticed that the scientist had foregone the garlic bread, which he usually loved. Rodney was scrutinizing John's own tray, which was also absent of garlic, when they caught each other's eyes and smiled.

The Athosian and the Satedan were completely oblivious of the two men's silent communication. In fact, no one seemed to have any clue that two of the most prominent members of the Atlantis community were dating – each other. The whole thing made John feel giddy, like he was keeping a secret from his parents. Rodney didn't seem immune to the phenomenon either and had been particularly cheerful the last couple weeks.

"Geez, McKay are you going to eat all of that?" John asked, not entirely joking because it was a lot of food even for Rodney.

"I have a very fast metabolism Mr. String Bean, as you well know."

The natural banter was comforting in its familiarity.

Ronon jumped on the train, "It's amazing you aren't three hundred pounds."

"You should talk; you eat more than I do!" Rodney exclaimed, not mentioning that Ronon was about a foot and a half taller and actually exercised.

"We can't all eat like Teyla," Ronon noted. "I think she's part bird."

So the runner had learned that particular Earth expression. "Yeah, Teyla I'm surprised you don't waste away into nothing." John rejoined.

"I eat a healthy amount of food thank you." She smiled, which only encouraged the teasing. But Sheppard wasn't paying attention any more. Rodney was sucking on a meatball in a decidedly erotic fashion.

John kicked him lightly under the table to let him know he should stop. He did, but he was smiling like a kid in a candy store.

The colonel resumed eating, trying not to catch Rodney's eye because he knew if he did something bad would happen, when he heard a nearby table discussing Earth politics. It wasn't incredibly rare, but it wasn't a common topic among the citizens of Atlantis, after all they had their own problems to worry about. Then he heard something that caused his usual impassive mask to crack. "Did you hear they repealed 'don't ask don't tell'. It's about time if you ask me. It was such a ridiculous ban to begin with."

A month ago the news wouldn't have meant much to him. He'd have been glad to see the rule go, he'd never been a fan of it, but he wouldn't have given it much more thought than that. But now…" The marine who had said it had just arrived in the city and John didn't know him very well. He was sitting with a group of other marines who were all nodding their heads in agreement. It was nice to know some people were for the repeal. There were many people in the military who were completely for it, and it was those people that worried him.

Sheppard glanced at Rodney across the table; he'd overheard the comment too. The scientist was giving him a very meaningful look, which John was trying to ignore. McKay would want him to come out now that it was legal.

"John, are you alright?' Teyla laid a questioning hand on his arm as if it would help her read his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled at her trying to sound as natural as possible. "I'm just not that hungry I guess. Actually I think I'm going to turn in early."

The Athosian's eyebrows knitted in worry but she didn't comment. He got up from the table without looking at McKay and headed for the door. Behind him he heard Ronon say, "Wonder what's up with him."

It was nearly a half hour before Rodney came looking for him. When Sheppard let him in the first words out of his mouth were, "I thought you'd be happy about the end of 'don't ask don't tell'?" The scientist lay down on his bed and stretched out as if he belonged there. Maybe he did.

"I am. I'm just- I don't know- skeptical, I guess. It sounds too good to be true. I mean I finally figure out I'm gay and then the one thing preventing me from being open about it suddenly disappears." He sat down next to McKay and took his feet into his lap, slowly untying his laces.

"It's not the only thing preventing you. Even I know that." McKay knew as well as anyone what being gay could mean. It had taken him months on Atlantis before coming out and Rodney was a civilian.

"You think I should tell people?" He had started massaging the other man's feet. Somehow the rhythmic movements made him feel better.

"Of course. I'm biased. But I'm not a colonel in the Air Force either. Who knows what backlash openly gay members of the military community are going to experience."

"Thanks Rodney. I guess I thought you were going to pressure me into it."

The other man snorted. "Since when have I ever been able to pressure you into anything?"

"Do you think anyone on Atlantis is going to come out?"

"I'd be surprised if they didn't. We are more removed from the normal chain of command here and it will be easier for them." Rodney removed his feet from John's lap and pulled him down next to him on the bed so he could look into his eyes. "I'm not trying to pressure you, but it would be easier for them if they knew that you were understanding of their lifestyle."

Sheppard opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off. "I'm not saying you have to come out, I just mean you could let them know you're gay friendly and all. A friend of the gays."

"I am friends with you."

"Just friends?"

"Well…" John kissed him thoroughly. "Maybe a little more."