I don't know where this came from. Maks took over. Review if you would like me to continue to post this, because I will likely still be writing it whether you guys like it or not to be honest. Enjoy xx.

Disclaimer: No one is mine but Maks. She is definitely mine.

I somehow became satisfied with the simple pleasure of watching him from afar. I used to do it all the time before anyways. The only difference is now I can't talk to him, or touch him or be anywhere near him really. Which I guess makes this entirely different, if you think about it.

Sorry, I'm not that great with words. Serious words to be specific. Sure, hand me an innuendo or toss me a witty comment and I'll come swinging right back at you, but ask me to have a serious conversation and all that will be left of me is a puff of smoke where I once was.

Getting off topic again, sorry, I tend to do that. Anyways back to the point. I've somehow become a creeper, or a stalker if you want to put it that way. I don't, but even if you do what am I gonna do about it? Crawl through this letter and rip you a new one?

The answer is no by the way.

So, stalking. Yeah it might be a bit of a problem that I can't be away from him for more than two months. When I first started out it was no more than an hour though so I guess this is an improvement. Pictures aren't the same and neither are videos. I need to actually see him, breathing, laughing, talking. Watch him live. Now I'm not like full on weirdo like Creeper Eddie Cullen, watching him sleep and shit so don't even think of that association. I just like to see him. It's not like I follow him or anything. I don't even get within twenty feet of him. I keep my distance and just watch him for a bit. Until the stabbing feeling in my chest disappears and I can breathe again. Until I can remember why I did this why I am where I am. That's all I need. It usually does take more than a minute till I can leave again.

There have only been two times that I have nearly revealed myself to him. To my credit, both times I thought he died. But then again both times were in the same day so it really depends on which way you look at it. The first time he turned out to be fine but I was spotted by that old warlock fart Deaton. Second time I had to revive him but he was unconscious so that doesn't really count. I got out of there before he could see me. I mean how exactly would I explain?

"Hey Lahey, I know I'm supposed to be dead and all that but I'm not and I'm still in love with you. Wanna make out?"

It's complicated. And it's one fucking long story. But I know that I can trust you with it cause who are you gonna tell? Even if you do tell someone, the chances of anyone believing you are low so…

Oh that's not a threat by the way. It's just a fact. Plus it's not like you care. Do you really care about anyone but yourself and your boy toy Nickols?

I'm kidding so don't freak out.

Oh yeah and just for kicks how's Italy? Liking your new life? Great, cause if you die again I'm not bringing you back, family favors or no family favors.

Don't tell Lydia. That was a threat.

Seriously don't die again Paige cause ain't nobody got time for that,

Maks

p.s you may notice there no return addresses. That's because I don't expect or want you to reply so just read my letters and mind your own fucking business.

p.p.s if I hear that you've contacted your ex I'm going to go all the way down to Italy to rip your throat out. See that's funny cause your ex-boyfriend once gave a similar threat to me. I'll tell you about it later but just don't call Hale ok? Laters