written for: the houses competition
house: slytherin
category: themed — main character must be a slytherin: theodore nott (focalisation/perspective character) but all the characters are slytherins
prompts: "If you think for one second that I'm going to back down," [Speech]
word count: 1371
warnings: war ment / blood supremacist perspective (use of "mudblood" etc) / torture/pain ment / some swearing
notes: so, my original idea had been focusing on lucinda talkalot (canonical slytherin quidditch captain following emma vanity; made captain in 1976, and i'd have been writing as the same year as regulus—i have a pretty elaborate headcanon about the dynamics of the slytherins in that year, which i might have to write about in fic some time) and an interhouse relationship with lorcan d'eath (it's one of my sneak otps, so i may have to fic it at some point regardless) for the slytherin focus and the interhouse relationship prompt, but lucinda isn't actually available on the hp characters list on ff yet (lorcan is, though), so i figured i might change up my goals a bit. so just a heads up that this is not what i had initially intended on this round!
disclaimer: disclaimed.
"So," Millicent says, "is anyone going home for the holidays?"
It's an innocent enough question, or it should be. It's the sort of question you ask every year before Christmas or Easter break; the problem is, this isn't just any year.
Blaise shifts. He's always had a soft spot for Millie, Theo knows; Theodore's never worked it out, but he thinks Blaise might find her endearing, though Merlin knows why.
"I might go to Italy with Mum," he says. "Spend some time with her relatives." Get away from the war. It goes unsaid, but everyone knows that's what the words mean. It's not as if Blaise is opposed to the war, necessarily—Theodore knows that Blaise wouldn't touch a Mudblood if you paid him. It's more that nobody wants to be around the war, except for maybe the older Death Eaters. Daphne's theory is that they've gone mad with power, or maybe Azkaban. Theodore thinks she might be right.
"I'm staying here," Pansy says, and it doesn't sound quite so condescending as usual. Theodore's surprised to find that he misses that quality in her voice. It was a certain brand of confidence, and while it wasn't always pleasant to be the recipient of, there was something admirable and refreshing about it all the same.
"Me too," Theodore says, deciding in that moment. He's surprised by that too; he's not one for impulsive decisions. He finds he doesn't regret it, though. His father is busy on Death Eater activities, and his mother died a long time ago. Nott Manor won't be a pleasant place to be.
"Depends on Astoria," Daphne says. "I won't leave her alone." Theodore frowns; he understands not wanting to leave her alone here, with the Carrows wandering and doling out punishments with a maniacal frenzy, but Daphne has no brothers and her father isn't a Death Eater, so he's not sure why Astoria would need her older sister's vicious protection at home. A moment later, his expression clears. Daphne's mother is a Yaxley, and the Greengrass home is next to the Selwyns'. A lack of relatives in their world doesn't preclude you from the environment of the war; it seeps into every inch of your vicinity too.
Crabbe grins. "I'm staying," he says, and Daphne looks at him with disgust. They all know why he's staying; he wants to spend as much time with the Terror Twins as he possibly can, soaking up all their knowledge of Dark magic. Theodore doesn't really care about Crabbe's proclivities, and feels no need to sympathise with the victims he enjoys punishing on the Carrows' behalf, but there's still something a little disconcerting about sharing a dorm with someone who so vocally and indisputably enjoys wielding power and pain over others.
Goyle grunts an assent, which Theodore thinks is frankly intelligent coming from him. He very rarely considers Crabbe and Goyle by their given names; Vincent feels more humane than Crabbe is, and Gregory feels more distinguished than Goyle is. They're just like their fathers, Theo thinks with slight contempt; they suit their surnames and nothing that differentiates them more than that.
"I'm going back to the Manor," Draco says, trying to be casual even though the meaning is anything but. Everyone immediately goes quiet. They all know the Manor is where Bellatrix is, where the prisoners are being kept, and what it'll mean when Draco goes back there.
The war affects them all, but it doesn't define them individually, only as a whole. Draco, though, is more than just a Slytherin in this war, or a pureblood, or a blood supremacist. His very definition in this war is inked upon his skin, and there's no going back from that.
Theodore's not sure that Draco even believes in it anymore, but he's also not sure that matters. The Dark Mark is forever, and he doesn't think you get to question it when Bellatrix Lestrange is both your aunt and mentor.
Everyone stays locked in that moment of quiet, unspoken understanding of what Draco is going home to—until Daphne snorts, very quietly.
It's enough, though.
Draco's eyes snap up to meet hers, grey on green, and it's hard to say whose are colder.
"I'm not going to do anything," he says, and Theodore's vaguely aware of Crabbe's suddenly scornful expression, but he's mostly focused on Daphne, because he's pretty sure she's going to keep pushing Draco.
He's not wrong.
"Uh-huh," she says, turning to Millicent and rolling her eyes slightly. Theo's not sure if she's actively trying to rile Draco up, or if she's just fed up with pretending like they don't know how that story's going to end, but either way, he's avidly watching it unfold.
Draco has always had his surname to create clout for him, and Theo suspects he's not used to being dismissed so easily by anyone their age. Theo thinks that maybe if he'd spent less time worrying about Harry Potter, he wouldn't be so blindsided by Daphne, but he knows that's not exactly fair. Their entire Sixth Year had Draco very preoccupied, and not with Harry Potter for once. He doesn't hold that against Draco as much, because he's not sure what else Draco could do when his father's life and reputation was on the line, but he does hold that against Draco's family in general.
"I'm not going to do anything that I don't want to," Draco says hotly, "and I will make that clear as soon as I get there!" He's sneering, like he used to, but there's something more desperate beneath it, more fractured—it fascinates Theodore, even as it unnerves him.
"Sure you're not," Daphne says, sounding utterly bored by the conversation. Theo thinks that might be what does it—what sets Draco off to the point that he actually raises his voice.
"If you think for one second that I'm going to back down," Draco begins, practically snarling, when Daphne finally turns to face him and cuts him off.
"Of course I do!" she throws back at him, matching him in volume. "It's all you ever do, Draco! You back down. That's why Potter beats you at everything, that's why your primary response to things is to threaten people with your father, and that's why you ended up with that godforsaken fucking tattoo!"
Theodore's eyebrows shoot up, and he swallows audibly.
They all know about the Dark Mark, but they never speak about it. Daphne's always been a bit outspoken, but this is a new level. He's always been aware of her lack of patience for some of Draco's behaviour, but this feels different.
Theodore cocks his head, studying her closely. She's breathing hard, and she looks absolutely furious, but there's something in her eyes—something hidden below the searing green…
With a start, Theodore works it out. She's scared. Theodore looks at Draco, who looks grey, and isn't facing Daphne. In fact, he isn't facing any of them. He's staring at the section of his arm where the Dark Mark is—where they all know it is, even though his sleeve covers it.
Theo sidles closer to Daphne, leaning in to whisper into her ear. "You're scared for him," he marvels. He's pretty sure that's it, but he's also saying it partially as bait, seeing if she'll prove him right.
"Aren't you?" she asks in return, looking defiant and unapologetic and so, so sad.
Theodore blinks. He's never really thought about it.
Daphne shakes her head, disgust written across her face. "He's a fucking idiot," she says intently, lowering her voice so only Theo can hear, "but he's one of us, for better or worse."
Theodore looks across the circle to where Draco is. He watches as the blonde boy stares at the area of his arm where the Dark Mark is, first intensely and then unseeingly, and watches as Draco stands and leaves to their dorm. He doesn't follow. None of them do.
Theodore hears Blaise asks Millicent, somewhat awkwardly, whether she's going home for the holidays, but it's a distant awareness. He's still focused on the spot where Draco was sitting, and he's thinking about what Daphne said.
He has the feeling that it might be 'for worse'.