SETO KAIBA™
Congratulations on your purchase of our patented SETO KAIBA™ unit! We wish you many fun-filled years with this surprisingly complex unit. To avoid damages and to make the full use of your potential favorite new toy, please follow these instructions carefully.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
NAME: 'Seto Kaiba', 'Kaiba', 'Mr. Kaiba' or 'Nii-sama' (this last name should only be used by the MOKUBA™ unit, to avoid potentially serious damage)
SEX: Male
MANUFACTURER: Kaibacorp. Industries Ltd. (Not to be confused with Kaibacorp., of which your unit is President/CEO)
DATE OF MANUFACTURE: October 25, Unknown year (But he's probably the age of anywhere from fourteen to seventeen years old)
LOCATION OF MANUFACTURE: Domino City, Japan
HEIGHT: 6'1''
WEIGHT: Below normal range, but this is easily remedied. XD
WARNING: Not complete without purchase of MOKUBA KAIBA™ unit. (Sold separately)
ACCESSORIES:
1(one) Duel Monsters locket (Absolutely Essential. No SETO KAIBA™ unit is complete without this accessory!)
1(one) Domino High school uniform (he hardly ever wears it, so he might not be wearing it in the packaging. This is normal)
1(one) Duelist Kingdom outfit, complete with floating trench-coat action (dark purple trench-coat, dark green shirt, dark green trousers, brown dress shoes) (We don't care what he says this outfit is for. They're totally his pajamas. XD)
1(one) Battle City ensemble (white KC trench-coat, armbands, belts, black turtleneck, black trousers, black boots)
1(one) Doom Arc ensemble (Same as Battle City outfit, except this trench-coat is purple)
1(one) Kaibacorp Duel Disk™ (If he doesn't have one of these when he arrives, don't worry about it, he can make one himself. Child genius, remember?)
1(one) Duel Monsters Deck, containing 3(three) Blue-Eyes White Dragons
1(one) white suit (He hardly ever wears this either, only to 'special occasions'.)
PROGRAMMING:
Your SETO KAIBA™ unit comes with a variety of functions and modes that will be sure to amaze you! The following are just some of the many uses that SETO™ has.
President/CEO: (default) Your unit is the leader of a multinational corporation, and proud of it! He spends most of his time working on his laptop, but he can be coerced into doing something else, especially if a MOKUBA™ unit asks him.
Duelist/Prince of Games: (default) Your unit was at one point the greatest duelist in the world, before YUGI MUTOU™ stole his title. He's still a champion duelist, and will insist on proving that fact at any and every opportunity. His ego is extremely over-inflated (about the size of Europe), so we advise extreme caution when indulging him in this.
Cold/Indifferent: (default) Your unit is not very accustomed to interacting with people- aside from the MOKUBA™ unit- and so may be something of a jerk when you first unpack him. This is considered normal behavior, and does not indicate any problems with your unit.
Big Brother/Protective: (locked) This mode can only be activated in the presence of a MOKUBA™ unit, or after your SETO KAIBA™ unit gets to know you and your family really well. He's extremely protective of his little brother, and will do just about anything to ensure his safety. Precaution is strongly advised when interacting with the MOKUBA™ unit, especially in SETO™'s presence. He could also unlock this mode with you, if he considers you a close friend or even family member. Those days of being the school 'punching bag' are now over!
Hero: (locked) Despite his outward attitude, your SETO KAIBA™ unit is extremely brave, loyal, and downright heroic at times- even if he behaves like the antagonist most of the time. To unlock this mode, tell him (truthfully) that a DARTZ™ unit or ZORC™ unit is trying to destroy the world, and most of the time your unit will do everything in his power to put the world back the way it was. (If not, get MOKUBA™ to use his infamous 'puppy-dog eyes' function on him. Works every time. XD)
COMPATIBILITY:
Your SETO KAIBA™ unit is somewhat socially awkward and doesn't interact very well with people, but there are exceptions to this rule, never fear!
MOKUBA KAIBA: Extremely compatible. This unit is the younger brother of your unit, and SETO™ loves MOKUBA™ unequivocally. Regardless of what LittleKuriboh says, SETO™ will do anything to protect his little brother. And we mean anything. We now have an Owner's Manual for MOKUBA™ units! Check it out in chapter 4!
YUGI MUTOU: Mostly civil. This unit is SETO™'s dueling rival and also the King of Games. SETO™ is constantly attempting to win back his 'top dueling status' from this unit, so don't be alarmed if you suddenly find your unit and this one duking it out with a children's card game. This is entirely normal. (Unless it's a Shadow Game, then you have good cause for alarm. XD If this is the case, blame falls to the YAMI YUGI™ unit, as SETO™ units will vehemently deny any and all existence of magic. [Despite the fact that they can use it themselves.])
JOEY WHEELER/JOUNOUCHI KATSUYA: Grudging compatibility. This unit may appear to be the epitome of annoyance to your SETO KAIBA™ unit, but your unit actually holds this unit in a fair amount of respect. He admires the bond JOEY™ units share with SERENITY WHEELER/SHIZUKA KAWAI™ units, as it reminds him of his own bond with MOKUBA™ units. He immensely enjoys teasing JOEY™ units, because he finds great amusement in how JOEY™ units react to the 'abuse' and 'insults'. He also admires the bond JOEY™ units share with their decks- particularly their Red-Eyes Black Dragon cards- as it is reminiscent of his own bond with BEWD (Though JOEY™ and REBD are not nearly as close). Your SETO™ unit will never admit to any of this aloud- of course- but we have determined it through extensive interaction studies and experiments with JOEY WHEELER™ units.
GOZABURO KAIBA: Incompatible. This unit is the man who raised your SETO KAIBA™ unit for about half his life, but don't let that fool you. SETO™ does not see this unit as a father-figure, rather he loathes this unit with every fiber of his being. Avoid interaction with this unit at all costs, unless you want to emotionally scar your unit for life.
For other unmentioned units, please ask your question in a review of this story. Our staff will be delighted to answer any and all of your questions. Hint hint.
DIRECTIONS FOR ASSEMBLY:
When you first open the package, your SETO KAIBA™ unit will most likely be asleep. This is due to the extreme security measures that we need to take when delivering this dreamy CEO to your doorstep. We usually do it in the dead of night, to avoid the rabid fangirls. XD
Your SETO KAIBA™ unit will be disoriented and demand to know what's going on, and you can have your pre-ordered MOKUBA™ unit explain the situation to his 'Nii-sama'. Your SETO™ unit will most likely calm down after this and settle smoothly into his new lifestyle.
CLEANING:
Your SETO KAIBA™ unit is perfectly capable of keeping himself clean and well-groomed. Just supply him with a bathroom equipped with either a shower or bathtub (or both); shampoo, soap and other personal hygiene items; and let him do the rest.
FEEDING AND REST:
Your SETO KAIBA™ unit is certainly capable of fending for himself, but under normal circumstances may require gentle reminders to eat and sleep. (Have a MOKUBA™ unit persuade him for best results.) He tends to be a workaholic and forget that normal people are sleeping at 2:00 am, not working on their laptops. XD (Though some of our staff here do that. LOL) For best results, serve a beef fillet dinner every once in a while (his favorite), and avoid Udon (his least favorite, though he will eat it if there's no alternative).
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Why does my SETO KAIBA™ unit have green hair and golden eyes?
A: Whoops! We've sent you a Season 0 KAIBA SETO™ model by mistake! This unit will be noticeably more calculating and downright cruel than the Season 1-5 model, and you can exchange it for the later version for no additional cost. However this unit is relatively rare and could be considered a collector's item, if you are willing to put up with his villainous schemes. If you wish to keep him but don't want him to be so creepy and evil, have a YAMI YUGI™ unit perform a 'Mind Crush' function on your KAIBA SETO™ unit, and in 1-3 weeks you should notice a definite change in his personality. (After he finishes putting his heart back together. 'O_O [sweat-drop face])
Q: My SETO KAIBA™ unit is too tan. Did you leave him out in the sun too long?
A: Whoops again! We've sent you a PRIEST SETH/SET™ unit by mistake! This model is even rarer than the Season 0 KAIBA SETO™ unit, and is considered to be a prized collector's item! You may find that this unit is considerably friendlier than the SETO KAIBA™ unit- as his default mode is 'Guardian'. He is compatible with any of his 'doubles'- except for maybe KAIBA SETO™- as well as MOKUBA KAIBA™ units, seeing them as something close to family members. Like his double, SETH™ units are very protective of their friends and the people/units they consider family, and will fight for them/you at any cost. And no, we didn't leave him out in the sun too long. He was born and raised in Egypt. XD For full details, please visit the Owner's Manual and Maintenance Handbook for PRIEST SETH/SET™!
Q: Why does my SETO KAIBA™ unit have blond hair and gray-blue eyes? Is this another alternate version?
A: YES! Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of the one-of-a-kind, ultra-rare, SIR CRITIAS™ unit! Lucky! This dragon-knight was discontinued early in production because of an incident with the ORICHALCOS™, and only one unit was made. You will find that CRITIAS™ is extremely brave and loyal (his default mode is 'Knight'), and possesses the unique ability to transform into a gigantic, midnight-blue dragon. (We still can't figure out how we did that. XD) He is compatible with any of his 'doubles'- except for maybe KAIBA SETO™- as well as MOKUBA™ units, seeing them as something close to brothers. Like his double, CRITIAS™ is very protective of his friends and the people/units he considers family, and will fight for you/them at any cost. For full details, please visit the Owner's Manual and Maintenance Handbook for SIR CRITIAS™!
Q: My SETO KAIBA™ unit has become sullen and depressed, and I can't figure out why. Help please?
A: You probably didn't purchase a MOKUBA™ unit. These two brothers are absolutely hopeless without each other, so it is strongly recommended that you purchase a MOKUBA™ unit as soon as possible. The good news is that MOKUBA™ units are relatively cheap, only $9999.99, compared to SETO™ unit prices of three payments of $99999.99. (that's mostly for the BEWDs in his deck. Rare cards. Jeez)
Q: My SETO KAIBA™ unit keeps calling my MOKUBA™ unit 'Mokie'. Although it's really cute and adorable when it happens, I think there might be something wrong with my SETO™ unit.
A: What?! How in the world did you manage that?! You've unlocked the impossibly-rare 'Child-SETO' Mode! In this Mode, your unit will act more as a big brother to 'Mokie' than a father-figure, and will be more outgoing and sociable with people. We have tried and tried to get SETO™ units into this Mode, but he's just too durn stubborn! Believe us, there is nothing wrong with your SETO™ unit. You've just unlocked the loving heart we thought had been lost forever. Congratulations!
Q: I received a PRIEST SETH/SET™ unit from you, but now he has become sullen and depressed. I've actually seen him crying a few times. What's wrong with him?
A: Oh, the poor thing! Your SETH™ unit has most likely just witnessed the death of his pharaoh and cousin, YAMI/_ _ _ _ _™- and/or the love of his life, KISARA™- and/or quite possibly his father, AKHENADEN™. To remedy this, introduce him to a YUGI MUTOU™ unit- or even better- a YAMI YUGI™ unit. Your SETH™ unit will recognize his cousin in YAMI™, and will most likely come out of his funk. Unfortunately, there is no 'cure' for the loss of KISARA™ as of yet, but we're working on it. We have determined a possible remedy whenever one of our SETO KAIBA™ units summons one of his BEWDs, as the dragon reminds him of KISARA™ and that she is always with him in his heart (Aww!), but we haven't found a cure yet that will make him truly happy once more. We offer our sincerest apologies, but you'll just have to make do with your heartbroken model.
P.S.: We've found a way to fix this! Just visit the Owner's Manual and Maintenance Handbook for PRIEST SETH/SET™!
CLOSING COMMENTS:
Again, we offer you our congratulations on your purchase of a SETO KAIBA™ unit, and we wish you many years of fun and enjoyment with your new model(s). We hope you think of Kaibacorp Industries Ltd. for any more of your toy/robot needs.
God Bless!
Tsunami Storm
Tsunami Storm, Founder