My dreams once again shattered, it always, ALWAYS turns out this way. Someone I really want to be with, people I really like, just all shattered into pieces, I am dead, or maybe it's just my hopes. I want to run, run as fast as I can and never turn back. Never. This is what I meant last time, how when I look up at the sky I want to fly, and by fly I mean run, run away. I can't take it! I'm in a cage, a cage I can't break until I find the key, help me get free, oh please help me. My heart is locked with the feelings I truly feel, but only come out when I cry; cry those salty drops away. Life is shattered. Love is shattered. Dreams are shattered…..I am shattered. My angel will come; come for me someday; and well fly away, fly away to a place I've dreamt about going. Fly and see my dreams going for me. Pray for my dreams to come true…..I pray for yours to.

It's been a week and He still hasn't said a word to me. I write in my journal countless times. There's no one to talk to, I mean the hosts has tried but I just told them I was okay, but honestly I wasn't close to okay. I've relived that I'm dying in the inside, Hikaru's left me, gone off with Haruhi, now I'm not even a part of his life, and you know what else is funny we live with each other, every time he comes home he's just exhausted, cause he spends all his time trying to be the best boyfriend for Haruhi.

Most times I say hi to him, and he just waves hi, but gives me the expression that he and I usually gave those girls when we honestly didn't give a shit about them. I never in my life thought that he would ever give me that expression.

I walked in the host club, I've been a little sick from the whole depression thing so I haven't gone to school for two days, Hikaru never once came into my room to see if I was okay, oh yea I didn't tell you, once Hikaru and Haruhi started to go out, I wanted to have my own room, he thought it was for the best cause we were getting to old to even share a room, that actually ripped my heart a little, I was hoping that he would beg me to stay, but looks like that didn't even close to work.

It was Thursday night and I'm feeling a bit better, I guess I've been thinking that it's not worth killing myself because of him, and by killing myself I meant mentally, but I still love him so much, how much I want him to be with me here tonight just looking at that night sky.

The night sky, different shades of blue, makes you feel free. That cool breeze on your face, that feeling that you get when you feel safe, the thought of freedom. The thought that I think about every day, thanks to the sky. I know I'm not the only one, but I know I can sense the feeling of it, and man that feeling is the best feeling you can ever experience. The sky turns a darker shade of blue, the color I feel right this moment, the feeling makes me frown, day and night, but I know that the day freedom comes for me, I will look up at the sky and finally smile. Tears fall down my cheeks, and I sob until that day comes, but for now…..I wait.

I hear a creek on the door, and I turn to see the one person that can make my heart beat fast just like now.

"H-Hikaru."

"Kaoru are you okay?"

"Yeah, why are you asking?"

"Cause your crying."

I placed my hand on my cheek then placed my hand in front of my face to see tears on it. Then I wiped the tears away with my sleeve then sniffled a bit.

"Oh it's uh allergies."

"Kaoru I've known you for all my life, I think I would know that you don't have any aller-"

"How are you and Haruhi?" Oh how much I really wanted to change the subject, but not about Haruhi, I guess since I've been thinking about it a lot that's all I could think to say.

"Oh uh, that's actually what I wanted to come and talk to you about."

My heart ripped a little more from last time.

"Oh uh w-what about you guys?" I said hesitating to know the answer.

"I was thinking about asking her to marry me. Do you think it would be good to ask her to marry me?"