"Merlin I need your opinion" Arthur said as he spread his arms out to allow his servant to undo his armor.
"On what exactly?" Merlin replied as he began to pile the armor on a near by table.
"Courting someone" Merlin stopped for a moment, to let it sink it. He could feel his heart beat quicken as he quickly turned to look at the young prince.
"Oh?"
"Yes, lets say I see this person daily." Arthur went on, finally done undressing and was now on his bed undoing his boots.
"Mhm"
"And every time I see said person it becomes harder to look away, but I never know the right thing to say. And each time I try to be romantic I look…"
"Like a dolllap head?"
"Precisely…hey!" Arthur laughed lightly as he threw a pillow in Merlins direction.
"Go on." Merlin laughed as he dodged another pillow.
" I mean we know each other well enough, and it has been a long time, but I don't want to make things odd if I'm rejected. So what do I do?"
"Just take things slow and tell the person when the time is right." Merlin quickly replied hiding his giddiness at the idea that Arthur may feel as he did.
"Is that the best you have?"
"What else is there other than just to be honest? Said person is probably waiting for you to make the first move."
"Think so?"
"I strongly believe it."
"Ok good, great even, I'll just tell Gwen then." Arthur rejoiced, leaving Merlin in obvious confusion.
"Tell Gwen what?"
"How I feel obviously" Merlin couldn't believe his luck. He remained cleaning up the room as Arthur ranted on about other matters of the knights and events to follow. But Merlin couldn't hear anything, he felt as though his head were being kept under water. And he thought for a moment that that wouldn't be such a bad idea compared to his sudden heartache.
After several days of sulking around the castle Arthur made an effort to find out what was bothering his man servant.
"Ok, out with it already. Whats with you lately?" Arthur asked as he leaned against his cluttered desk, obvious annoyance plastered on his face.
"I don't know what you mean sire" Merlin replied as stood with his back to the prince, continuing to place his clothes inside the closet.
"See! There you go again!" Arthur said exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Since when have you been this obedient Merlin? Where's your rebellion and witty comebacks? You've been acting like a serv-… well not like yourself all week." Merlin paused at that, letting his hand rest on the closet handle as he pushed it shut. He knew he wouldn't go unnoticed but he hadn't realized Arthur had caught on just yet.
Of course something was troubling him, he had just come to terms with his feelings and just when he was ready to make them clear Arthur declared his intentions concerning Gwen. Not that Merlin was surprised he was well aware of the brief glances and awkward exchanges that passed between the two, yet still he thought he had a fairly good chance all things considered.
He saved his life on a daily basis; he was loyal to the prat and stayed by his side. So what was he doing wrong?
"But seriously Merlin, I haven't seen your smile in some time. Is something wrong?
"No sire".
"Are you certain?"
"It's of no concern to you sire" his insolent tone made Arthur smirk, as it always did.
"Merlin I know that it is not my place but if something or someone is making you feel 'not yourself' I'd like to know. Do you understand?"
"Yes sire." Merlin replied with a curt nod.
"Will that be all sire?"
"Merlin… yes, thank you. You are free to go." And with that Merlin took his leave. Trying his best to hide the tears that were beginning to burn behind his lashes.
Arthur that clot pole, always knew just what to say at exactly the wrong time. How oblivious could he be? It was such a frustrating trait but one that Merlin had always loved.
He ran as quickly as he could back to his and gaius' space and hoped the elder didn't ask him questions when he returned.
"Merlin!" Gaius cried as he caught him mid stride.
"You forgot to clean the leech tank again, I need that done immediately"
"Sorry Gaius, I'll get to it in the morning."
"Merlin I need it- Merlin, what ever is the matter?" Gaius asked softly as he recognized the tears subtly falling down his cheeks.
"Sit, sit. Now then tell me what's on your mind" after taking a few moments to collect himself, Merlin reluctantly answered.
"It's Arthur…"
"I take it things aren't going well between the two of you?"
"Quite the opposite actually, things are going extremely well."
"I don't understand"
"Gaius don't you see? I'm with him every second of every day. Serving him, cleaning him, guarding him with everything that I have and yet it's never enough. Gaius he means more to me than my own life, you know that"
"Indeed I do" he nodded patiently.
"And yet just today he finally told me of his plans regarding partnership. And surprisingly enough, it had nothing to do with me. Gaius he loves Gwen and I can't do anything about it. And Arthur is too stupid to see that she isn't the only one who…"
"Loves him? My dear boy… it's never too late. You know that Arthur cares a great deal for you.
"But Gaius he doesn't love me the way I do, he won't understand."
"Merlin you can't know for sure until you try."
"So what am I supposed to do? Waltz right into his room and declare my feelings?"
"Well I don't see why not"
"Maybe because he'll laugh in my face and tell all of the knights at training in the morning."
"That may be true"
"Gaius! You're not helping."
"Look Merlin, the best thing to do with these kinds of things to be bold, and honest."
"Gaius just when was the last time you declared your love for someone?" he replied in a brazen tone.
"Forty years ago I dare say" he said thoughtfully.
"And what happened when you did?" He approached more cautiously.
"Well I married her of course" Merlin was taken back at that.
"But then what happened?"
"That is a story for another day Merlin. I'm more concerned with present matters."
"So I should just tell him?"
"Yes. Merlin if you truly feel it in your heart that you love him then he needs to know or you'll both regret for the rest of your lives never knowing."
"You're right. I'll tell him now"
"But Merlin-"
"Don't try to stop me gaius"
"I'm not; I just wanted to wish you good luck." Merlin looked back at gaius and sent him a playful smirk and went on his way.