Ok, so, busic stuffies, I don't own dragon age, the wheel of time, Bioware, EA, a PS3, a little horsey to rid- wait, I think I lost my train of thought there for a second... What was I doing? Oh, yes, saying I own nothing. Well. Except for this computer I'm writing on... And my phone... and this desk... wait I think I lost it again. Oh, nevermind, on to the storythingie!

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'I wonder what happens when one dies?' Elissa Cousland wondered. The chantry believes that our immortal souls go on to dwell with The Maker and his bride Andraste. She wasn't sure weather or not she believed that, nor had she ever really thought about it before. But what about if one's soul is destroyed, say by killing an Archdemon as a Grey Warden. Now that, was something that she wondered about rather fervently right now as she rode atop a bucking dragon's head, trying to get a good enough grip to plunge one of her swords through it's skull.

She should have let Morrigan do her ritual thing with Alistair, but Cusland didn't really trust her. Besides, it wasn't as if the two exactly had chemistry, and The Warden rather doubted that Alistair even knew how. "GAH!" She let out a cry as she briefly lost her grip, but managed to regain it. Unfortunately she had lost hold of her main sword in doing so and was now under the dragon's jaw. The clatter she heard less then a second later told her that to add onto her woes, gravity was indeed still working, and her off-hand sword had fallen out of the scabbard to the ground. "JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KILL THIS THING AGAIN!?" She called out to no one in particular her words strangely highly enunciated from the stress of the moment.

Fortunately, her good, uh... she wasn't sure what to call him as she had no idea what the male form of 'mistress' in the sense of illicit partner was, Zevran, was engaged in combat not far below, and while he was engaged with three different Hurlocks, he was still able to manage witty repartee. "You're rather smart, I am most sure you will be able to figure it out!" As he impaled one of his foes upon his rapier. "Just use your head!"

"Well, I did always wonder why this thing had spikes..." She muttered as she headbutted the Archdemon. She saw a brilliant gold light erupt from the wound as the Archdemon went through its death throes, and she felt an almost tearing sensation at the very core of her being, as if her soul was being ripped to shreds. Suddenly though, she felt perfectly fine. "Huh, that was easier then I thought, eh Zev?" She said turning to her lover.

The expression on his face made it look as if he were crushed, he had even fallen to the ground, and started milking the proverbial cow, tears streaming down his face, calling out her name to the sky. "Yo, Zev, I'm perfectly fine." She walked up to him, "Ferelden to Zevran, I'm right he-" She cut off in the act of tapping him on the shoulder as her hand went right through it. "Huh."

She turned slowly to the corpse of the dragon, and sure enough... "Gew... Why did I have to die in that pose? It doesn't even seem possible..." Somehow when she had fallen, the force of the impact had pushed her body forward and it looked as if the Dragon were... well, lets just leave that to imagination, shall we? She turned back to Zev, still hamming it up, and wondered where his weapons had gone. He was holding them when she... uh... began the out of body experience? "Now that's even..." She was left speechless. Somehow his weapons appeared to have flown out of his hands in his wild gesticulating, and killed two of the Hurlocks that had begun their retreat with the grand death.

"I wonder what happens now..." She felt the same sensation as before, very nearly anyway, but it started at her legs. She looked down to see her form being stretched out to a large degree.,"Gah! NO! NO!" She called out desperately, trying to grab anything in reach to anchor herself to. Normally, this tactic would have served her well, as it had all too many times in the past, fighting Ogres that would try to grab her, golems that would try to grab her, her older brother that would try to grab her, her mabari when it was feeling particularly ornery... "Why does everything always try to drag me to places!?" She called out in desperation, as she discovered that this tactic failed when your hands had no substance.

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She felt a jolting sensation, and suddenly she was looking at her body again, but this time on a pedestal with Alistair and Anora standing over her still warm remains. "Now why are those two... Oh yeah, heh, heh... I made them." She laughed to herself about her deviousness. "Huh, Ferg is alive? Well, that's cool. He'll be helpless without me, of course how will he ever get the estate back from the How- aaaand Alistair is just giving it to him? And the Howe Estate? Way to go, Bro... And he's giving part of it to the... " She face palmed. "I know you want to honor my memory, but keep the land. You get power, keep... what!?" She felt the tearing sensation again. "Now come on, this is just cheap, CHEAP!"
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duhn-de-duhn duhn-de-dun-duhn-dedun—deduh-dun-de-dun-woo-eee-ooo ooo-eee-ooo "And where is that music coming from!?" She called out as she spun about three axis of rotation through as strange purple and blue void that reminded her of the time she had tried those mushrooms on a dare. "GAH!" She called out as a whining blue box tumbled past her making a noise that sounded like someone was trying to murder a musical instrument, just barely missing skewering her with what appeared to be a weather vane. "WHYYYYY!?" She called out as once again she saw a planet.

"Huh, its kinda, pret- OH MAKER WHY IS IT GETTING BIGGER!?" She saw that she was rapidly approaching a forest far, far below. "NO! NO! NONONONO!"She called out desperately, trying in vain to shield her head from the inevitable impact that was the last thing she saw.

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As Rand watched his side of the road, the feeling grew in him that he was being watched. For a while he tried to shrug it of. Then he heard the loud cry of a woman in obvious distress. "NO! NO! NONONONO!" Followed by a rather loud thud.

Rand and Tam looked at each other in shock for a second, then as one, wordless, they set off in the direction of the noise. Rand nocked an arrow to his bow once more, and Tam pulled out his quarterstaff that he had apparently been hiding somewhere.

They emerged into a most strange setting. "Blood and bloody ashes..." Rand let out the exclamation in a low whisper. There was indeed a woman... who appeared to have tried diving headfirst into the ground as if it were a pond.

Tam too was rather surprised, but you would never know it, as nothing showed past his stern expression. "She'll be needing the Wisdom then." He said in his normal, unperturbed voice, as if strange looking women trying to swim through the ground was an every day occurance.

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A/N: So, yes, this is supposed to be way more silly then the Legends series, and I'm pretty much making it up as I go along. Its been years since I last read the old wheel of time, so, I'll have to re-read them to keep an idea going, look what sacrifices I'm making for this fic? I'm forcing myself to read one of my most favorite serieses written by one of my favorite authors! See this hard work? Of course, since I have to read up to keep up, it should update more erratically then legends, especially with the fact that I have no idea where I'm going with any of this... yet why do I get the feeling that somehow I'll be adding to this one far more frequently then the other? Oh well...