Author's note: When Sirius was showing Harry his family tree he referred to his cousin as demented and clearly had no kind things to say about any other the other people he thought to point out. He referred to his brother though as stupid. Not evil or demented but stupid enough to go along with their parents. This is just a short drabble I came up with about how Sirius's relationship could have been with his brother. I never believed that he hated Regulus nor do I think he could escape feeling at least some guilt about his death.
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter…books, clothing, pins, robes, back packs. The one thing that is missing from my collection is the actually rights to Harry Potter, go figure. JK Rowling just doesn't seem to want to sell them so what's a girl to do.
Do you remember that monster you used to be so afraid of? You know the one that lived under your bed and you were convinced was going to devour your brain. I do. I remember the first time you saw your brain eating monster, in a dream I'm guessing. You ran down the large stairway of Grimmauld Place with as much gusto as a spooked kitten. You almost knocked our mother down when you ran into her chest, begging her to vanish the monster. Of course mother, being the woman she was, didn't sympathize with your "childish" fears. The only thing she offered you was a smack on the arse before sending you back to bed.
I, being two years older and probably already destined for Gryffindor, wasn't afraid of monsters under the bed. I didn't even need to think before I stomped into your room like the super hero you used to think I was. You looked up at me with your scared blue eyes and told me to be careful; you didn't want the monster to get my brain. I couldn't help but laugh and this brought you to tears. Clearly you had enough of being invalidated for one evening.
I promised you I wouldn't let the monster get either one of us and you, as naïve as you've always been, believed me. You fell asleep curled into my chest that night, just like you ended up doing many nights after that. It wasn't until the night before I left for Hogwarts that I told you there were no such things as brain eating monsters: again, innocent, naïve, trusting you…believed me. That was the last time you were ever my innocent little brother, my Reggie.
I changed you see. Not only was I someone who didn't believe in monster under the bed but I also didn't believe in Pureblood supremacy. Even less than I believed in Pureblood supremacy, I didn't believe in our mother. I didn't want to be around her so I stayed away at Christmas and spent most of my summer days with James until I was sixteen when I decided to stay away forever.
You believed in mother though. You were always so gullible, so easily swayed. So quickly were you to jump at that woman's commands. Mother said be a Slytherin and you were. Mother said hate mudbloods and blood traitors, and you did. Was it mother who said be a Death Eater? Perhaps it was mother who told you to die because you never really did learn to do things on your own.
I resent you Regulus, not for the reason you think though. I can forgive you for following our mother's pureblood hype. I can forgive you for joining the Death Eaters. I can even forgive you for dying. What I can't forgive is you never realizing that I lied to you that night before everything change; the night I was to be sorted into Gryffindor and you'd take your place as mother's golden child. I lied when I said there is no such thing as brain eating monsters just like I lied when I said I wouldn't let it get either of us. In the end your older brother saved himself and let our monster get you.