Title: Numb
Chapter: One
Chapter Title: Slipping Away
Author: Black-Midnight-Oasis
Rating: pg 13, for depressing situations, and minor laguage.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything thus orented. I do not make money from my stories, and do them for sheer enjoyment. Thank you for your time.
Summary: Harry Potter, Famos, school Qudditch player, athletic, rich, brave- and horribly depressed. Life had never been easy for Harry, but now that Sirirus is gone, Harry has nothing holding him together, no one to truely trun to- his last change of leaving his auth and uncle feel through the veil. Not to mention the Prophecy that states that he, a 16 year old, not fully trained wizard, is the one who has to distory the dark lord voldermort- because he's the only one who can.
Not to mention, Harry Potter is a 16 year old boy. And with being a teenager, things like angest, romance, and drama are bound to happen anyways. But what if that Romance inculdes someone he's already lost?
Authors Note: Alright, so this is my new story, and now anyone who's bothering to read my other one- call it dead. I will be adding three (maybe four) more chapters, that cut RIGHT to the point of everything. To the end. However, if you like romance, but not the a/a then read part one of that stroy: Do You Care? (the reveiw count is at 60 I think )
Chapter One: Slipping Away
Harry awoke to his Aunt banging on his door, with her normal, "Time to get up!" roar. Moaning, Harry pulled himself out of bed, and began to dress. He walked over to his closet, and pulled on a par of black jeen's, a black T-shirt, with a black hoddie. Harr blankly looked to his mirror, and staired emotionless. Grabbing his wand off his dresser, Harry walked openly out of his room (his aunt and uncle had stopped locking the door on him) and down the hall.
Dudley ran past Harry, banging loudly which each step he put his large foot on. Harry curiosly wondered how long it would take for the stair case to give way. For personal safety, Harry had mostly stopped stepping on the stiars, and either slide down the railing, or jumped on the side. This morning, Harry choose to jump, feeling the power of inpact as he carshed to the ground. The pain was almost comforting, allowing him to feel something real.
Harry quickly regained his balence, and walked into the kitchen. His aunt gave his a fake sort of smile, and his uncle ignored him completely. This was his favorite thing to do, after all- pertend Harry was never born. Harry wasn't sure about his aunt though, what had made her try to be nice to him, and Harry figured he would never know. Sitting down, Harry looked blankly at the pile of bacon and toast infront of him.
"But mum!" Dudley cried, "I'm a growing boy! I need more then this!" Harry look at Dudley's half of a large orange, then quickly looked back down to his pile of food, which he was less then interested in eatting, and Dudley was eyeing as if it was gold. Harry picked up the plate, and pushed it towards his cusin.
"Here." Harry shot, "I dont want it."
"Harry, you have to eat!" his aunt called after him, as he walked out of the kitchen. A numb sensation seemed to fill Harry's body, as he walked slowly up the stairs. Opening his bed room door, Harry looked into the black room. Hedwig hooted loudly, noticing she wanted to be let in, Harry walked over, and opened her cage, allowing the snowy owl to climb in and go to sleep.
"Harry Potter- you open this door right now!" it was his aunt. Harry ignored to call, and closed the curtains on his window, blocking out all the light, "I mean it Harry- open the door" the voice sounded disperate. Harry looked at the door, strangely, as if it was some sort of forin object.
"Just leave me alone.." Harry called darkly, "I just want to be left alone." Harry heard a loud sigh from the other side of the door, that was quickly fallowed by the sound of foot steps walking away, "It's what everyone does... they just leave me alone."
Images flashed through his head, images of when he was one, and his parent's where killed, image's of Qurill, Tom Riddle, Ginny lieing there lifeless, Cedirc cold dead body, and then Sirurs. When Harry first meet him, he wanted nothing more then him dead, to have him feel nothing but the pain he had made Harry feel. Or, at lest, the pain he thought Sirus had made him feel. In realty, Sirurs was innocent, and it Wormtail who had made Harry's parent's suffer. Harry closed his eyes, allowing the tears run down his face as he remember saving Sirurs' life, only to have it be his fault it was taking away. Pain- Hate- these where the only things he could feel now, but evertime the emotions came, the less he could feel them. It was like he was slipping away from reality.
Hours must have passed before Harry moved to pull out a book on hex's. The teacher's at the school hadn't given any homework, because not all the student's would be taking that course the next year, due to the O.W.L's.
"Harry, dinner time." his aunt's timed voice awoke Harry from his trans.
"Coming." he muttered. Pulling himself off his bed, Harry's book stayed tightly gripped in his hand. He didn't care if his aunt and uncle saw it, or what they would say if they did see it. Nothing mattered. Harry opened his bedroom door, only to have the bright light from the rest of the house flood his eyes, almost burning. The sun must have been seeting, Harry thought, turning the corner and beginning to walk down the hall. Ignoreing the fact that half the step's creeked, and where bent inwards, Harry slowly walked down.
By the time Harry reached the kitchen, Dudley was already half way though his dinner. Harry looked at the food, his stomach became tense, but Harry knew he had to eat. Walking over to the table, Harry slowly sat down, proping his book between his knee and the rim of the table. On several ocations, his aunt tried to make conversation, and either his Uncle Vernon would answer the questions quickly, or Dudley would give his oppion. Harry figured she was tring to really talk to him, her sudden concern for him over coming- as if she had just noticed how horrible she had been to Harry in his life.
"Harry, eat something." his aunt ordered. Harry looked up only to notice that everyone had finshed but him, and he had only pushed his food around.
"I'm taking Dudley to the store to get some new clothing, Patuina- watch the boy."
"Have a good time," she called nervously. As soon as the door shut, she dropped her tea towel, and walked over to the table. Harry noticed she was sitting in the chair right next to him, facing it so she looked dirctly at him. Harry looked up slowly, his dazed green eyes gave the look at though he hadn't selpt in weeks- which really he had slept, but not well. All his dreams where interfered with horrible nightmare's of people dieing. His black clothing outlined how pale he had gotten by staying in his dark room, "Harry, I-"
"What?" Harry asked, blankly, wanting nothing more then this conversation to be over.
"What happened?" she asked, bluntly. Harry raised an eybrow, but did not answer. "To you." she contiuned nervously, as if just by having this conversation she was breaking the law, "You look dead on your feet- so depressed.."
Harry's head turned back to his book. Harry looked over with the corner of his eye, to see that his aunt was- crying.
"Dont cry." Harry commented, bluntly, "Tear's do nothing."
"I just wish I understand... if you would only talk to me.."
"Stop trying to mother me." said Harry, in a dark term, "My mother's dead. Not that you care." Harry closed his book, and stood up, "I'm full."
"Harry, please, wait-" but it was too late, he had already walked out of the kitchen, and out the front door, leaving his aunt crying in the corner. Harry walked down the path, and onto the sidewalk. It was already dark out. Harry knew it was stupid to be roaming outside, when it was dark but he didn't care. Blinking, he turned into a near by park, and sat down on a swing. This was the street where he first saw Sirurs, and he thought he was going to die.
"Harry?" it was a questioning voice. Harry turned his head to see Remus Lupin standing there.
"Yeah." Harry answered, shurging.
"Harry, what's-"
"Wrong?" Harry finshed, "Nothing. Just felt like getting some fresh air."
"Nothing?" Lupin repeated, doubtfully, "Harry I just went to your house to pick you up, and I found your aunt crying in the kitchen. Said you walked out."
"I did walk out." Harry addmitted.
"Why dont we go back, and get your things, then we can head back to-"
"The Black House?" Harry asked, darkly. The was an ocward pause between the two of them.
"Yes, Harry." Lupin answered. Harry made no move showing he had any intention of moving, and insteed began to push with his feet and swing.
"I dont feel much like moveing, but you go on without me."
"I'm not leaving you here, Harry." Lupin sighed, walking over, and sitting on the swing next to Harry's.
"Look, I just want to be alone, okay?" Harry spat, stopping. Lupin looked into Harry's eyes- but he saw a side of Lily's eye's he had never seen before. They where cold and distant, it was almost disturbing. Lupin could tell that Harry had been crying.
"Harry, please- I'm bagging you, come back with us, it's where you belong."
"I dont belong anywhere." Harry retorted, and stood up, "I never have, ever. I never fit in properly anywhere. Not even at Hogwarts. The only differnce there is, insteed of falling into the backround, and getting picked on, I stick out like soar thumb."
"Harry I know it's been hard on you. It's been hard on all of us, but-"
"How could you know?" Harry snapped, "The fate of everyone's life, depend's on me. I'm only one person, and I'm not even a fully trained wizard. So stop trying to understand me. I wish everyone would just leave me alone." Harry stood up and began walking back to the house, Lupin close behind him.
Neither of them said anything though out there walk back. Storming throug he front door, Harry began to climb the stairs and turned sharply into his room. Lupin fallowed him up, and stood in the door frame as Harry began to throw the last of his things in his trunk. He closed it quitely, and grabbed Headwig's cage, "Let's go." Harry mumered, grabing the handle to his trunk.
"Where are you going?" his aunt asked, as Harry dragged his trunk down the stiars.
"A safe house." Harry answered bluntly.
"A safe house?" she squeeked.
"Yeah, tell your husband and son that I'm gone, and they dont have to pertend I dont exist anymore." Harry snapped, as he and Lupin walked out of the house.
"The car's right there." Lupin commented nervously, pointing to sliver convertable. Someone was sitting in the passenger's seat, and one person was in the back.
"Oy, Harry!" a familer voice called. The car suddenly turned on, and Ron saw Ron waving madly at him. Hermione's head suddenly appered next to Ron. Harry guessed she was tieing her shoe. Harry turned his attention to the front, where he saw Mrs. Weasley stepping out of the car. She walked over, and gave Harry a large hug.
"Oh, we where so worried." she muttered, letting go. Harry gave a fake smile, and dragged his trunk into the back. Mrs. Weasley walked back around the car, and sat down, placing Headwig at her feet. Harry climbed in the back with Ron and Hermione who both gave him ocward smies.
"Jesus, it's good to see you two." Harry blurted out, giving a fake smile. Lupin pulled out and car drove away. Harry noticed Ron's arm around Hermione, and her leaning on his shoulder. Harry looked off to the side, and closed his eyes, just glad they didn't ask questions. Deep down, he didn't really feel anything about leaving, or seeing them. It didn't matter-after all, nothing really mattered anymore.
The arrived infront of number 12 a little while later. Harry jumped out of the car, and proceded to pull his school things out of the trunk. Harry began dragging it up to the house, he kept his head down until he reached the front door. He looked at it, old and warn. It seemed as though everything around him was shifting. Mr. Weasley let them all in the house, and Harry made to go back to the room where he and Ron slept before. It was insitct on where to go. Nothing was real it seemed, like this was just some horrible dream. Harry opened the room, and dropped his trunk down. Ron came in quick behind him with Headwig, "Thanks." Harry muttered, taking the owl and placing her on the dresser.
"So, um... welcome back." said Ron, nervously.
"Thanks." Harry gave another hollow smile. The room itself seemed to have a new presents to it, like there was a dark goast of some sorts living here. Chills ran down Harry's spin, as he thought that the dark presents could just be him.
"Well, everyone's gonna want to talk to you, and stuff- so I guess we should go down stairs." Ron shrugged.
"Yeah." Harry agreed, and fallowed Ron out of the room. He looked at the walls around him, and numb sensation took over his body again. Harry was thankful he couldn't feel anything. Ron lead Harry down the set's of stairs, and into the kitchen. Everyone stood there, beaming at him.
"Ah, the man of the hour!" Tonk's called, winking at him. Harry could see her bright blue hair from across the room.
"Harry, welcome back." Percy smiled. Harry nodded, not really fully convinced that he trusted Percy yet, after what happened the year before.
"Allo, Harry!" called Fred, looking up from a deadly looking potion
"Welcome, mate!" George waved.
"Oh... that wasn't supposed to happen- George, quick- get the sliver spin!"
"Get that off the table, you two." Mrs. Weasley snapped.
"Hey, Harry." Bill smiled. Charlie waved, but didn't look up, he seemed to be concentrating on something.
"HARRY!" an excited cry called, fallowed by a squeek as a red headed figure flew herself at Harry.
"Uh- hi Ginny." Harry sturred, returning the embrace, "How's it going?"
"Horrible." Ginny answered, "And it's all your fault!" Harry raised an eyebrow, the last thing he was expecting was a verbal attack from Ginny, "You havn't written back to me all summer. I've been worried sick." Harry looked nervously at Hermione and Ron, but they where being pulled away by Mr. Weasley.
"I'm really sorry, Gin- I've just-"
"Just what? Been busy?" she asked, in a doubtful tone.
"Yeah.." Harry trailed off, "Look, I've got to go do something, I'll talk to you later." Harry turned around and walked out of the kitchen. No one seemed to notice he was gone, until the kitchen door had slamed shut. Harry made his way up the stairs back to his room.
The numb sensation once again took over his body, and he was careful not the step into the light. Once he reached his door, Harry opened it and walked over to his bed. Collasping onto it, Harry drifted off to sleep.
"I'm worried about him." Mrs. Weasley wispered into the open kitchen.
"We all are, Molly." Mr. Weasley took his wife in his arms, and staired at the door as if he had just watched one of his own childern run off on him.
"Give him room." Ginny muttered.
"Gime him room- are you nuts?" Ron asked, "Last time we 'gave him room' we got yelled at for ignoreing him."
"I'm not saying dont tell him what's going on or anything, I mean, when he leave's, let him go. Look, I've been there alright, just trust me on this one."
"She may be right Ron," Hermione agreed, "He need's time to work out his thought's. Must remember he just lost the first real family member he's ever had."