Idris Academy wasn't so bad.

Alec had hated it, at first. Everyone else loved it, but Alec wasn't everyone else. Sure, it was pretty, he supposed. But it was far too ostentatious. It was a huge, towering, castle-like set of buildings arranged around a ridiculous glass structure in the centre. That was where the administration buildings were housed, and the ballroom.

That's right. Idris Academy had a ballroom.

He didn't know why it was so flashy. Ok, so it was technically a private school, one that boasted first-class education. But it was also the only decent high school for miles around, so pretty much everybody who grew up in the town of Idris went there. Their town was rather out of the way, nestled deep in the foothills and forests of New England. Some rich families from elsewhere sent their kids there but it wasn't a boarding school or anything so they were few and far between.
Idris Academy did, however, have excellent teachers, excellent facilities and a high acceptance to the Ivy-Leagues. It was a great school to go to.

But Alec had hated it.

Because for the first time in his life, he had been alone. He'd been alright to start Kindergarten alone. And then Elementary, and even Middle school.

But then things had changed. Jace had joined their family, and along with Izzy, the three of them had grown inseparable.

And the other thing.

The thing that Alec had refused to acknowledge, even to himself.

The thing he couldn't bring himself to think, let alone say out loud.

It had made him feel so horribly alone in the world. It had made him feel like the world was out to get him, to make his life a living nightmare. Izzy and Jace had been the only bright lights in an otherwise damned and dark world for so many years.

Then, since Jace was a year younger and Izzy two, he had to leave them to face High School alone.

He was already tall for his age, and stood out even more for his unusual colouring of dark hair and blue eyes set against pale skin.

Next to Izzy and Jace, no-one had ever cast him a second look. Why would they? Even if they had, everything about him from his slumped posture to his perpetually guarded expression screamed hostile.

But now it was a whole new story. He was alone, and had to navigate High school all by himself – at least for a year, until Jace joined him.

The first few months were pure hell.

He could tell that Izzy and Jace were worried about him, when he'd come home and shut himself away in his room. He told them he had a lot of homework, but that was a lie. He was fairly clever – you had to be, to pass the Idris entrance exam - and was doing well in all his classes without too much effort.

But the stress of being alone and having to navigate the jungle of teenage social life as well keeping his terrible secret, drained him.

And then, a miracle occurred, in the form of a glitzy, colourful, cocky boy with a grin as wide as the Cheshire cat and sparkling gold-green eyes.

Magnus Bane burst into his life one dreary Thursday afternoon in late fall when they'd been paired randomly in AP Chem lab.

Alec had deigned to exchange the usual pleasantries, of course, but then settled down to work. Seeing as it was an AP class, he'd assumed that Magnus could do the same with little communication between the two of them.

He'd been wrong.

Well, partially wrong. Magnus could do the work; he was one of the brightest students in the entire year. Unfortunately, he also had a dangerously reckless curiosity about him, which funnily enough, did not pair well with the handling of volatile chemicals.

The lab had been evacuated post-explosion, and both Alec and Magnus had been given detention for a week. No matter how much Alec protested that it hadn't been him handling the chemicals, they'd been a team and would suffer the consequences as such.

Alec had hated his life even more after that, especially since the detentions earned him a stern lecture and grounding by his strict parents.

He'd been ready to hate Magnus Bane with a burning passion for the rest of their time at Idris Academy. He'd tried, quite hard.

But by the end of the week, they'd been best friends. Magnus had worked his magic, spent his charm, and even the impenetrable Alec Lightwood had not been insusceptible, unable to resist the intrigue of the strangely beautiful boy. They'd been inseparable ever since.

Magnus had introduced Alec to his mismatch group of friends, and Alec found that he'd stumbled into a social life.

There was Will, known to the rest of the student body as 'dark brooding hottie', but to his friends as 'sweet playful troublemaker'.

There was Tessa, the tall, regally beautiful brunette who was soft-spoken but firm and forceful in her handling of Magnus and Will's more irresponsible, hazardous actions.

And there was Jem, the quiet silver-haired boy who always backed Tessa up, but whom Will could always persuade to join in their shenanigans.

Alec found that all of a sudden, he was happy. And it was all down to Magnus.

He told himself that the warm feeling he felt whenever he saw Magnus was because of that, because of their friendship, because of how grateful he was to the boy.

He told himself that his skin only tingled when Magnus touched him because he was shy, and not used to being touched.

He told himself all kinds of lies, and continued to lie to himself through the next couple of years.

It was pretty easy, most of the time. Magnus was his best friend, of course he liked to see him and be near him and spend time with him.

But the hardest lies to tell himself were when Magnus dated.

Magnus liked to have fun. He liked beautiful things. He liked indulging in all kinds of pleasures, with all kinds of people.

He had been openly bisexual since he'd started at Idris Academy and it was no secret that he willingly dated both girls and boys. Lots of them.

Alec cared about him, he knew that. It was normal, for a best friend…right?

It was completely understandable that he'd be protective of Magnus, that he didn't want to see his best friend get hurt. Will, Jem and Tessa were the same.

Those lies were the hardest, because it was blindingly obvious that their other friends did not share his worries; at least not to the same extent.

Even so, he lied. And he lied to himself that he believed those lies.

But it was ok, and life went on. He was happy. Jace started school the next year and got on well with all of Alec's friends; especially Will. The two of them quickly achieved the school record for most double detentions ever served. Magnus liked to tease them about it, but they were proud of that fact!

The year after that Izzy joined them, and got on with Magnus like a house on fire. They'd known each other before of course, Magnus and Alec had spent a considerable amount of time at each other's houses, and Magnus had spent plenty of time with his siblings over summers. But having them at the same school was a different story. If anyone thought Will and Jace were bad, Magnus and Izzy were on a different level. Constantly scheming, constantly giggling together. Alec had been the recipient of more than one forced fashion make-over and nobody had wanted to get in the way of the hurricane that was Magnus and Izzy to help him.

Two more joined their little group, a small redhead named Clary, whom Izzy sat next to in homeroom and who started dating Jace a few weeks into the school year. And her best friend Simon, a friendly if slight gawky, bespectacled boy. Alec liked Simon immediately, bonding over their mutual awkwardness.

All in all, most things in Alec's life were pretty great.

Until Camille.

For the years Alec had known him, though Magnus had dated a lot, it had never been serious. Magnus had confided in him an inherent lack of trust in people, the reason he opened up to only a few closest friends (and Alec felt warmly gratified to be included) and preferred keeping his romantic conquests at a distance.

Magnus had not had a happy childhood. His parents had both been killed in a car accident when he'd been eight years old so Magnus had been taken in by his mothers' closest friends, Catarina and Ragnor, who had been unable to have children of their own.

Alec was sure there was more of a story where his parents were concerned, but that was a piece of the story Magnus kept hidden from everybody.

Still, he had been careful with his heart. Until Camille.

He had fallen for her so fast and so hard, Alec remembered. Their romance had lasted only a few months during their Junior year, but they had been the worst few months of Alec's life. Magnus hadn't abandoned him, but Alec almost wished he had. When Camille wasn't hanging around them, glued to Magnus' side, he was talking about her, showing pictures of her, or thinking about her. The last was the worst, when Alec tried to get Magnus' attention and he'd snapped out of a dreamy gaze, and Alec knew exactly who had been occupying his mind. It was the worst because even when she wasn't around, Alec felt as though she were still there, wrapped inextricably around Magnus.

That was when Alec couldn't lie to himself anymore.

He'd gone home and cried, the day that Magnus announced that he was in love with Camille. Until then, Alec had tried to wait it out. He'd been waiting for Magnus to get sick of her and move on. That was until Camille had drifted into school one day, squeezed herself in-between Alec and Magnus, kissed Magnus passionately and Alec had caught sight of the jewel around her neck.

Magnus' mothers jewel.

It was a beautifully cut ruby stone on a long, silver chain and besides a few old pictures, it was the only thing Magnus had to remember his mother by.
Alec had locked himself in his room and let the tide of emotions free, the emotions he was no longer strong enough to restrain.

Jace had been at football practice and their parents working thank goodness, but Izzy had been home.

She'd knocked on his door and he wasn't quite sure why, but he'd let her in. He'd told her everything, fighting to get the words out through the tightness in his throat, the pain in his chest. Though his hands had shaken the whole time and he hadn't been able to hold back the tears, he'd gotten it out.

She'd hugged him, and told him that it was ok. That it was more than ok, that he was perfect. She'd already known, she told him, since they'd been in middle school together.

He'd just been relieved to finally get his big secret off his chest, even if it was only to one person. He'd made her swear not to tell, though she'd tried to persuade him that no-one would see him any differently.

He couldn't believe that though. He knew how it would go. Everyone would start to push him and Magnus together, Camille or no Camille. Everyone always thought that gay kids would get together just because they were both gay.

Alec didn't know what would be worse; if Magnus laughed off the suggestions of a relationship with Alec because of Camille, or if he eventually broke up with Camille and still laughed it off.

Alec couldn't bear the thought of not being friends with Magnus, with the beautiful boy who had turned his world around, because of an awkwardness that could be avoided simply by his silence. No matter how painful it was to be by his side watching him with Camille, Alec would suffer it, to be by his side.

And then it had been over, all of a sudden. Magnus had come to him in the middle of the night, his make-up tear-smudged, his expression lost and broken. He didn't say exactly what had happened, just that it was over.

Alec's heart had broken, for his beautiful, brave boy who had struggled to love for so long, had given it a chance, and been stabbed in the back.
He didn't deserve it.

Magnus had crawled into Alec's bed and Alec had held him till the morning, stroking his hair and weeping with him.

He couldn't even bring himself to feel relieved that Camille was no longer in their lives; he just wanted Magnus to be ok.

And Magnus was, after a while. He learnt how to smile again, found his humor and his sarcasm. Their lives got back on track and he started dating again, but even more distantly than before.

Izzy had come to Alec that summer, a spark in her eyes.

"You should go for it, Alec!" She'd told him, eyes shining. "You wouldn't do what Camille did…you won't hurt him!" He wouldn't, she was right. But through all his bravado Alec knew that Magnus was still hurting. He didn't know if he would ever get over Camille, not entirely. He saw it in his eyes every time they ran into her at school.

Summer passed and still, Alec kept quiet. Then school started and Magnus told them about Axel; a beautiful dark haired boy with blue eyes who went to the community college in their town.

Alec searched his expression, finding no sign of lingering pain. His heart had broken once again and he decided that enough was enough.

He had to give up on Magnus.