I.
Her felt her chest tighten slightly as she approached the front steps. It wasn't surprising to her, really, since the last time she had stood on his porch, she was accusing him of being her father.
The last time she sat on his couch, she had to tearfully explain the paternity results she had discovered.
The last time she used his bathroom, she stared at herself in the mirror for what seemed like hours while tears streamed down her face. She was cursing her mother and the man who claimed to be her father for lying, but mostly she was just cursing herself for wreaking such havoc.
"Why did I have to snoop?"
She remembered asking herself that question every minute from the second she found the report all the way until her parents' accident.
Parents.
It was still almost too bizarre to comprehend, but she knew she was coming closer every day to accepting it, perhaps even being at peace with it, but not even acceptance and peace could calm the nerves as she knocked softly on the door, clutching her overnight bag for dear life.
Part of her wanted to run as fast as she could back to the Escalade and into the arms of her mother, but Maddie knew this was her own idea.
Daphne was attending a slumber party, her father was at some sort of political function she didn't care to know about in Washington, and her mother was going to be having a late night label function that she also didn't care to know anything about.
She and Rayna had mulled over different ideas- she could spend the night with Aunt Tandy, she could go to a friend's house, or they could even discuss the possibility of her being mature and responsible enough to stay home alone until the very early hours of the morning. She had shocked herself and her mother when she quickly and non-chalantly muttered, "I could stay with Deacon."
There was quite a bit of discussion, but ultimately everyone had come to an agreement.
It was going to happen, and though she didn't really want to admit it aloud to anyone, she was curious; she was even excited.
She had been waiting for the opportunity to actually listen to his voice, study his face, and pick his brain. She did not want anything crazy; she just wanted to watch him move.
Did she get her nervous finger tapping from him? What about the strange way she contorted her arms when she slept? All of those little things she had come to notice over the years that she never thought twice about now bugged her. Who am I, she wondered.
Hearing the deadbolt unlatch, she took another deep breath and turned around to wave goodbye at her mother.
Rayna had offered to walk her in and help her settle in, but Maddie felt brave enough to do it on her own.
She smiled at her mother before turning around just as the door opened.
She gazed at him as curiously as she had the last time she stood there, but with much less fear; so much less confusion.
She grinned shyly.
"Hi."