"Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."

William Blake

Clary sat on the edge of the building, willing her legs to dangle in the air. She released a short breath and turned her gaze upwards where she was met with a crisp blue sky. No clouds. The weather was humid. No sun. She tugged out her sketchpad and pencils, flipping to an empty page. With that, she knew what to draw. The pale skin. Askew glasses. Pimples. Cheeky grin. Brown eyes. Everything looked so familiar yet so different and before she knew it droplets of water fell onto the page, mixing with the dark ink she had used.

She missed him. Half of her heart had gone with him. He was so stupid. So damn stupid. Why did he always have to be brave? Why didn't he just stay a music loving coward? A video game addicted coward? Her coward. She sniffled, wiping her nostrils with her sleeve. It was getting cold. Night was approaching but she didn't feel like going into the institute. Everything reminded her of him. "I miss you so much." She began to mutter, imagining he was sitting beside her.

"I just think you should be here. With me. I don't think you regret your decision. I love you. I love you. Who's gonna watch anime with me? Who's gonna help you come up with band names?" She stopped, her chest heaving. Her hair was a mess. Plastered on her skin and nearly covering her eyesight. Dark circles beneath her glistening and now dim green eyes.

She felt someone wrap their arms around her waist. She already knew who it was. "Stop crying." He told her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Clary shook her head. "You never knew him like I did." Her voice came out bitter and regretful.

"You're right. I didn't." He said and she whirled to face him. He was staring down at the houses and the flashing lights below them. His tawny locks were swept to the right side of his head. His eyes were blazing. They usually were. He must have felt her gaze for he found her and grinned softly, dimples showing. Clary didn't return the gesture but lied her head against the crook of his neck. He placed his arm around her his heart beats matching hers.

"Jace?"

"Yea?"

"Take me down."

"Alright." His tone was confused.

"I was-I was gonna do something."

His orbs widened at the weakened statement. "What?" It came out as a whisper.

"Please take me down, Jace." She sounded like a little kid and he couldn't refuse so he brought her body forward and onto his back. She tucked her head into his shoulder.

"What were you going to do?"

"I don't wanna-"

"Tell me." He said sternly.

"Jump."

His chest tightened. "So you would've done it. No second thought. Because of Simon?" He asked harshly, stopping his steps at the stairs leading to the institute elevators.

"I don't want to be a shadowhunter."

"Clary, you know we have no choice. It's fate-"

She stopped him. She was crying now, her whimpers muffled. "I want to be a normal girl, Jace. I don't wanna worry that someone I love is going to die. I don't." Jace placed her feet down and lied her against his chest, her body curled with his.

She continued. "I want to go to college. I want to have a little brother. I want to go to the store with my friends and eat at restaurants without having to talk about all this shit." Her voice broke. And then she was coughing, gasping for air. He stroked the long strands of her hair and rubbed circles on her back. Clary was always strong. She was never like this. She was stubborn and didn't like others seeing her weak. Jace kissed the spot above her eyebrow. He kissed her neck. He kissed her cheek tasting salty liquid along the way. She was breathing better now. Her eyelids were shut.

"You don't know what I would do without you. Don't ever think those reckless thoughts, babe. You can't. I'm nothing without you. I'll drown without your love." He stared up at the now starry sky sparkling around the two of them like distant friends.

"Sometimes I wish I could protect you from everything. So that you don't have to worry. I want you to live a happy life and I want to be apart of it. I miss rat face too. I mean it. I'm not trying to make you feel better. But I've learned to move on after Max. I think you can too Clare. You're the strongest person I know." Her eyes were open now, green hues meeting infinite golds. She stared up at him from his lap.

"You can't make me feel better. Not about this." Jace felt as if someone had punched him. Like all the breath had gone out of his lungs. She slowly rose to her feet, her auburn hair being swept by the coming winds.

"Jace?"

"Yea?"

"I wish I could protect myself too." Then she disappeared down the stairwell and into what he assumed would be the institute.

He brought his fist down the the cement beneath him shouting a wordless apology.

[a/n]: Review and PM for prompts.