Forgotten Hope
His calloused hands shook as he wrapped them around her delicate and cold hand. She had fought hard, everyone had told him, but what other way was there to fight? Why did she even need to fight? What had she ever done to deserve such a cruel and untimely fate?
Before she had entered his life, he had been a withdrawn but polite person. He was never very outgoing, always preferring to throw himself into his writing. And then she came along, a beautiful baby girl with a smile that could brighten even the darkest of souls. The sight of Anna had filled him with joy, love, and a long forgotten hope. Peter had promised himself that day that he would be a better person for her.
When she was diagnosed with leukemia, Peter hadn't been worried. Life could not be as cruel as to take her away right? Wrong. Everyday he had suffered along with her, maybe even more than her. However, his little girl had always stayed strong for her daddy, always trying to mask the pain. She had made friends with the hospital staff and proudly showed off her bald head. Anna had taught him that it was okay to feel, to love, to laugh, to cry.
After being hospitalized for the sixth time in one month, she finally had enough. She had turned to him as doctors and nurses hovered above her, trying to keep her weak heart going, and had said "I'm tired daddy". Tears pooled in his eyes as her eyes lost their twinkle and her hand went limp in his. His hope had been snuffed out like a candle in the wind.
The sight of her small, fragile body in the casket broke him. Anna had always been capable of making him feel emotions. In fact, she had forced him to face his feelings. From the second she was born, a wailing, red mess, to her dying breath, she had taken him on a rollercoaster of emotion.
Anna had been his hope but her affliction had been his curse. Peter allowed himself to be lost to mind numbing alcohol and his writing in order not to face his pain. He wrote her into his book, An Imperial Affliction, but after that, he never spoke of Anna again.
That is, until one day, a girl named Hazel Grace Lancaster showed up at his doorstep. All the emotions he had been suppressing since that fateful day rushed through him like a freight train. He finally realized what he had allowed himself to become - a drunken, miserable old man without a single shred of decency. He remembered the promise he had made to himself, to be a better person for Anna. Peter remembered his little girl and realized that not all was lost. Anna's affliction had died with her but he had been carrying it along with him for far too long.
Peter hauled himself off of the armchair and dumped his glass of scotch down the sink. He would force himself to feel his emotions and finally let go of the ghost of his forgotten hope.