Hmmmm....stars.
I sighed as I lay outside on the grass.
Stars.
In school we learned that the light of the sun took eight minutes to reach the earth. And when we looked up in the sky at night, the light we saw from the stars was light that could be millions of years old. That even though the star was shining didn't mean it was still there. The star could have burned out years ago, but it would still be shining.
Funny. How the universe is, I mean.
The speed of light. It seems so fast, but compared to the universe its nothing.
You know, once I thought that I was important. That I could make a difference in the world, and perhaps many years from now, even though I wouldn't be specifically remembered for it, that my accomplishments, my life, would somehow affect the whole world. I was into the cause and effect theory back then.
Now I know better. Everything that I once thought was solid, everything that I once believed in, somehow no longer exists. It makes me wonder....it makes me doubt my own existence.
It seems right to me somehow, nonexistence. I shouldn't be existing right now anyway. My time on earth should have been over. Or nearly over, anyway.
Thinking back on it now, I realize that I never did make a difference in anyone's life. Not even my own. Kinda depressing isn't it? It took me so long to realize that you can't stop your destiny, and you sure as hell can't stop anyone else's. It still makes me sad though. So unfair.
Well anyway....why the hell am I out here anyway? Hmmm...I seem to be using that word a lot. Anyway. Any way. Any way you can....live? die? Any way you can make to that courthouse in the sky.
Great. I'm getting poetic. Look at me! I can compose poetry!
That's what you did though, isn't it? You were just searching for the perfect way to die weren't you? Was it even Julia? Was she the reason you went out to meet your fate? Somehow I don't think so. To me it seems that's what you were living for, longing for. Every chance you got at it you thrust yourself in the way of danger. Everytime you came back, you somehow seemed melancholic about it. I think you wanted out long before you lost Julia.
But who am I to say anything. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. In the end it doesn't really matter. Perhaps we're all just living for death, and life is just a phase we go through to get there. A skipping stone that slowly sinks when you step on it, and if you step off the end result is the same.
Hmmm...a metaphor, reminds me of college somehow. You know, before I got in that accident I was planning on being a writer. Now I'm a bounty hunter. Seems kinda ironic to me. Even though it really isn't.
I wonder what you would have been if the circumstances had been different. You were a pretty smart guy, figured everything out long before I did. You could have done something useful with your life. You still would have a lazy bum though. Hmmm....I think that was from some movie or anyother. What was it's name? Oh, well, can't remember. It was inconsiquental anyway. There's that word again.
Any way, I guess that's just how the chips fall. It was probably destiny for it to have ended this way.
"Faye?" a voice comes from behind me. My com.
"Yeah, Jet?"
"Did you get him?"
"No, he shot me. I've been sitting around just contemplating the daisies. Wondering what it's like to be buried beneath them."
"Faye." I hear a note of concern in his voice.
"It's alright Jet, I'm fine. It's minor....Sorry, I didn't call you earlier."
"I understand. We're taking off soon."
"Alright, I'll be back soon." I switch off the com, smiling. Even though I hadn't caught the bounty we were leaving. I guess this place just brings back too many bad memories. Mars...hmmm....
Standing up, I take one more glance at the sky. As I watch I see one inconsequental star brighten then fade out.
"I guess I'll be seeing you, Space Cowboy."
I sighed as I lay outside on the grass.
Stars.
In school we learned that the light of the sun took eight minutes to reach the earth. And when we looked up in the sky at night, the light we saw from the stars was light that could be millions of years old. That even though the star was shining didn't mean it was still there. The star could have burned out years ago, but it would still be shining.
Funny. How the universe is, I mean.
The speed of light. It seems so fast, but compared to the universe its nothing.
You know, once I thought that I was important. That I could make a difference in the world, and perhaps many years from now, even though I wouldn't be specifically remembered for it, that my accomplishments, my life, would somehow affect the whole world. I was into the cause and effect theory back then.
Now I know better. Everything that I once thought was solid, everything that I once believed in, somehow no longer exists. It makes me wonder....it makes me doubt my own existence.
It seems right to me somehow, nonexistence. I shouldn't be existing right now anyway. My time on earth should have been over. Or nearly over, anyway.
Thinking back on it now, I realize that I never did make a difference in anyone's life. Not even my own. Kinda depressing isn't it? It took me so long to realize that you can't stop your destiny, and you sure as hell can't stop anyone else's. It still makes me sad though. So unfair.
Well anyway....why the hell am I out here anyway? Hmmm...I seem to be using that word a lot. Anyway. Any way. Any way you can....live? die? Any way you can make to that courthouse in the sky.
Great. I'm getting poetic. Look at me! I can compose poetry!
That's what you did though, isn't it? You were just searching for the perfect way to die weren't you? Was it even Julia? Was she the reason you went out to meet your fate? Somehow I don't think so. To me it seems that's what you were living for, longing for. Every chance you got at it you thrust yourself in the way of danger. Everytime you came back, you somehow seemed melancholic about it. I think you wanted out long before you lost Julia.
But who am I to say anything. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. In the end it doesn't really matter. Perhaps we're all just living for death, and life is just a phase we go through to get there. A skipping stone that slowly sinks when you step on it, and if you step off the end result is the same.
Hmmm...a metaphor, reminds me of college somehow. You know, before I got in that accident I was planning on being a writer. Now I'm a bounty hunter. Seems kinda ironic to me. Even though it really isn't.
I wonder what you would have been if the circumstances had been different. You were a pretty smart guy, figured everything out long before I did. You could have done something useful with your life. You still would have a lazy bum though. Hmmm....I think that was from some movie or anyother. What was it's name? Oh, well, can't remember. It was inconsiquental anyway. There's that word again.
Any way, I guess that's just how the chips fall. It was probably destiny for it to have ended this way.
"Faye?" a voice comes from behind me. My com.
"Yeah, Jet?"
"Did you get him?"
"No, he shot me. I've been sitting around just contemplating the daisies. Wondering what it's like to be buried beneath them."
"Faye." I hear a note of concern in his voice.
"It's alright Jet, I'm fine. It's minor....Sorry, I didn't call you earlier."
"I understand. We're taking off soon."
"Alright, I'll be back soon." I switch off the com, smiling. Even though I hadn't caught the bounty we were leaving. I guess this place just brings back too many bad memories. Mars...hmmm....
Standing up, I take one more glance at the sky. As I watch I see one inconsequental star brighten then fade out.
"I guess I'll be seeing you, Space Cowboy."