I know that it's wrong. I know that I should have stayed far away. Though the fact remains that when I want something, it compels to me in. Like an addict that is too far gone. That's how it was, how it is with my own brand of addiction. I live an existence of brooding and unrequited love. You see the love of my… well I can't say life as that was taken from me years ago. more like existence. It's unrequited as she is the slayer. Buffy the vampire slayer. Almost sounds like a made for TV type of life. Anyway. I first saw her sitting on the steps of her old school when she first got the calling or whatever it was. I knew then that I was a fish hooked in, though unlike that fish I didn't want to escape. from that day on I had followed her, keeping track of her were about making sure that she was safe, or as safe as the slayer can be.
I know that people see me as a tortured, brooding, big defanged vampire, but Buffy sees more than that. She can see my last little shred of humanity that was cursed upon me, marking me with guilt and conscience for what I had done in the past as Angelus.
Buffy is fated to have a doomed relationship with me. Her loving me, means that I can't walk hand in hand with her along the beach in the sun, or have a big white wedding that starts in the afternoon, that lasts well into the sunset. It means that I can't show her I love her in a more passionate way then words. If that were to happen again then I fear that this time that they won't be able to retain my soul, meaning I shall reaming as Angelus, torturing those that I care for. Though in saying that I guess loving me would be better than loving captain peroxide.
P.S to said captain peroxide… haha