Goodnight

Goodnight, sleep tight
No more tears
In the morning I'll be here

The apartment was dark and quiet, except for the sound of my soft sobs into the hollow of his chest. He held me tight, resting his cheek against the top of my head. He didn't say a word, just held me there close to him. I could hear his heart beating softly in his chest, and I felt the most comfortable I had even been in my entire life. Knowing he was there for me, knowing that he cared.

He finally pulls away slightly, and I am facing him once again, my eyes red and wet with tears, makeup badly smudged and worn now, but somehow none of this mattered to me. He was there, and I felt completely safe and secure my physical appearance wasn't even a spot in my mind.

He brings a hand up to cup my cheek, and wipes away a tear. "You should get some rest…sleep away some of this bullshit…I'll take your shift for you tomorrow, and when I get home I'll come baring Chinese and some movies…that sound good to you?"

I smile and nod, wishing I could form words at that moment. Tell him how thankful I was for all he had done for me that night, and the many other nights he had been there to comfort me.

He smiles softly and leans forward again, placing his arm under my legs and back and lifting me from the couch, heading for my bedroom.

One inside, he lays me gently on my bed and kisses my forehead lightly, pulling the sheets up to my chin and offering another smile. How could I not see it before? How could I not know how sweet this man was? I spent a lot of my time yelling and cursing at him, for making the apartment a mess in a few short hours, for leaving the hospital without checking out his patients, just for doing his usual 'Ray' things…I never really stopped to see how amazing he really was, and how much he really cared for me.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything." He says softly, standing and heading for the door. "Don't be afraid to come get me…even if it's late…" he adds, turning when he reaches the door.

And when we say goodnight,
Dry your eyes



I wipe my eyes and watch him for a minute; he was just standing there, staring as if waiting for me to speak. I wish I could. Wish I could move, so I could feel his arms around me once more…this bed was so empty when it was just me in it.

"Ray Wait…" I finally squeak out just as he was halfway out the door. He turns and looks back at me, and I am forced to swallow and pause, regaining my courage. "I just want to…thank you for…everything. I didn't mean to just unload all of that onto you just with everything…I had to get it out."
He shakes his head. "No Neela its fine. I get it you had some stuff you needed to get off your chest that Michael wouldn't let you, I want to be here for you Neela, and I have been since you moved in. I'm just glad you finally noticed." He says the last part with a small laugh.

I smile too; the first time all day, finally feeling like Michael leaving again wasn't going to be the end of my life. "Well thank you either way…"

"No problem" he says, his smile still on that handsome face of his.

He turns back and starts to head out the door once more and this time when I call out to him, I do it without even thinking.

"Ray…"

He stops and turns again, the smile on his face growing.

"Yes…" he answers

"Could you…stay with me tonight just…" I look down, slightly embarrassed at what I was about to ask, "Just hold me…" I finish softly turning my eyes back to his, my face a mask of emotion.

He nods and makes his way back to my bed, closing the door behind him. I scoot over to make room for him and he slides under the blankets, immediately wrapping his arms around me. I sigh and snuggle closer to him, once again resting my head in the hollow of his chest. Why was it he made me feel so safe and all right? Why hadn't I seen it before?

These questions and more melt away with the worry and pain the longer I am in his arms. I found I was actually quite glad things with Michael and I had fallen apart like this. I would miss this place, and miss Ray had I ever left…besides, Michael had never made me feel like this the whole time I had known him, not even on our wedding night.

I cuddle closer still to Ray and feel myself drifting off to sleep…perfectly peaceful, his light 

breathing working better then white noise...

So this is what bliss felt like.

Because we said goodnight,
And not goodbye
We said goodnight
And not goodbye