Mae: Hiya Guys! This is a KaixRei ficcy to feed my inner urging! _____ _____ …..
It really kept tugging at me…my fingers also agree! Well ENJOY! ^____^ FLAMES ARE ACCEPTED! I'M DOING THIS TO INFLAME THE TYxKAIENS!!!! =D THEY ARE ALIENS TO MY WORLD! KAIxREI SHALL RUSH FOREVER IN MY VEINS!
Warning: Crappy attempt at lime. YAOI KaixRei boy/boy relationships.
Summary: Rei is alone in his hotel room, pondering on the reasons Kai left…but is quite surprised…that Kai hadn't really left them at all…
Setting: In the first season, okie dokes? ^___________________^
Mae: --in baby voice-- YOU NO LIKEY KAIxREI, YOU NO READDY! =O
Disclaimer: ME?! MAE?! OWN BEYBLADE? --starts cracking up-- …well the LYRICS WERE WRITTEN BY ME! ^_____________^-- (Crappy Lyrics) This fiction was done because of boredom and laziness to start Chapter 23 of 'Never Wanna Let You Go.' Sue me for not working hard, my ass is as lazy as a sloth's, the slowest animal on Earth. =P
To Keisan: Hiya! ^_^ Well, I guess this is my shortened version of your fiction numb I guess. Cause whenever I was reading or writing this, it kept reminding me of 'Numb'. =P I don't know how similar it is to yours…but if you think that part of my plot was taken from you, I'm giving you credit just in case! ^__________^ Loves Ya! --Mae
I hope no one's too OOC.
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…That unmistakable passing glance…
on those freezing cold streets…
Your cold impassive figure…leaves my thoughts to linger…
And to hide… I quickly look down at my own feet….
I still don't understand…I'm frustrated and lost…how could you do this to us? …How could you do this to me? During our travels…I thought we made a strong bond…but once again…I'm wrong. I've always messed up in life. That's why I'm portrayed as a traitor…a fool…until…I met you four, my team… where I belong.
But I wouldn't be standing here…if it wasn't for you. You stopped my unnecessary wandering and nailed me down to my place. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be alive…seeing as I already ruined many others. I broke Lee's dreams by obtaining Driger, I broke Mariah's heart, there fore I'm hated. I can only be allowed to hate… after learning my lessons, I never wanted to trust anybody.
Then…there was you…Different from the rest… You were quiet... and you know what they say, NEVER trust the quiet ones. They always go back on their word…like you have done. Your abashed design of hair and freakishly tones of color. Midnight blue in the back, leading to the edges of your neck…
Slate-haired spikes running across your pale face in the front…odd. You always made rude remarks about all of us, despised us, and found us lowly as an unworthy pack. Takao, Max, and Kenny have always been kind enough to get you to join, but when I first met you, the only thing that reached my mind whenever I thought about you was 'Bastard. Damn Bastard.' And yet my heart had an unfamiliar longing to lock my own eyes with yours. Those piercing crimson orbs that search my soul. The cold shivers down my spine when you whisper close to my ear…ghostly and are as cold as frost on a winter day.
I guess that's what you are…winter. Cold and an unforgivable period of time…no life…barren lands…and nothing stops you from completing your goals. Deceiving and causes great death in time…what have you killed? My soul…you broke it into a million shards,.. that can never be replaced...THEY WILL NEVER BE PUT BACK TOGETHER! You know why? Because it's all your fault…It's all your fault! You said you would never leave me…BUT THOSE WERE ALL LIES. Like dreams, YOUR WORDS NEVER EXSISTED! YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISES…For that…I hate you…loathe you. I hope you burn to oblivion, you scornful piece of work. You stabbed my heart…and you left me to bleed…and I pray one day you'll come to your senses…but that doesn't work. I'm a fool to keep hoping…hope is getting me nowhere. I detest your every fiber…idiot. You toyed with me…you never loved me…it was all a lie.
But why did you go?
Do you know how much that affected my life?
But why did you leave?
You were my frozen perfection…
There's still a part of me that loves you…and I hate that part. That tiny little piece is preventing me from ripping you out of my mind forever. Those beautiful blue stripes on you face…they shielded your spirit from us all. You protected your insides…hoping to not get hurt. You remind me of the porcupine philosophy….
Close friends…but both needled mammals were afraid to get too close…because they didn't want to get hurt.
That is you and me…I didn't want to get too close to you…because I was afraid of rejection. If I admitted I loved you, I might have end up with a blow in the gut, or a scratch on my face…but surprisingly…you felt the same for a neko-jin like me, An unholy presence around your figure. You didn't want to get too close to me…because you were too afraid to let anyone get that far. You were afraid for the first time that I might actually be able to understand you…to help your pain.
Hah…Kai you idiot. I'll never understand someone like you…Because I'm not like you…we're total opposites. I'll never be like you…I'll never understand you…yet something stirs inside me… so I can never fully hate you. I'll never get you…so what are you afraid of Kai? You coward…Did I really get that close? My thoughts will never cease to question, I need you here with me…I need to know, but you're not here to answer. You're off to defeat everyone with your sheer power. You jerk… you were the first one I loved…I thought you loved me back… but once again I was wrong. I have always been wrong, until you put me right.
We're total opposites…why is it opposites attract? Is that what draws me closer to you?
Everyone I love leaves me… My parents left me in the cruel world to bear on my own. They died… everyone I care about will all die before me… they'll go. You may not be dead… but you killed me, you left. You left Takao, he cared about you as if you were his older brother. Max also felt that way… both of them looked up to you…but you sent them a bad example. Kenny and the rest are still comforting me of your departure, but that won't heal my sufferings. You set all of us pain…but most of all, me. I damn loved you Kai. I know I still do now…but my heart refuses to accept it…but I know I do.
Honestly Kai…did I really get that far? Was I really so close to breaking down your barriers once and for all? Did I get close enough for you to crack? Was I so near…that you were afraid? Is that why you left…WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?!
A crash…look at what you've done to me again. My anger rushes in my blood, that I have thrown another vase across the wall…that's how you crushed me. As if my life were that vase, and you were the bearer. Could I possibly end my life right now? With those sharp…broken pieces lying on the carpet underneath my feet. One simple piece…the sharp ragged edges…sharp as knives…it can slice through my skin and embed in my veins…blood is the only word to describe my grief. My pool of blood would surround me. I'm surprised Kenny hasn't checked what caused the sound…oh yes. I remember the three young ones told me they were out…probably to get away from me. No one likes me. No one will. You proved that to me, just by going away.
My frozen perfection…
Don't leave from my grasp…
Rest with me…My life depends on it…
Stay with me at last…
My trembling hand comes closer to the broken vase…closer…closer… only a few more inches. My long slender digits extend, stretching in order to take hold of the glossed glass. I pick one slowly, a sadistic smile appears upon my lips. The object is so smooth…it's perfect, but will never be as nearly perfect as you. Any moment, it'll plunge into my flesh…soon my endless torment will be over. I caress the leveled glass, marveling on how beautiful it is.
All of the sudden, I drop it and I visibly flinch, jumping a few feet away from the defined pile of edges. My breath soon turns into multiple pants, and sweat beads down my face. My body quivers with confusion and daze…what was I going to do?
I shake my head startled, my long raven hair has partially come out of it's binding, framing my face and lithe form. Am I truly that weak? Just to kill myself…because you're gone? So one person leaves…and I fall apart. I am a weakling…I am the definition of weak. So I want to die because you are not here. I am a weak failure…I don't deserve life… I don't deserve death. All I earned was everlasting pain until the world consumes me. I don't deserve to be a part of the team… to have the loyalty of my friends. Takao, Max, and Kenny should just forget me and go on… like you have forgotten me.
Hell, I don't deserve any joy and success in life, because I am not a creation of god. I'm a foul beast with cat-like features…truly inhuman.
I define hate. I define unsuccessful. I define doom. I am Rei Kon, spirit of non-capabilities. I can't ever be as happy as Max…god knows I can't. I can never be as intelligent as Kenny. I'll never obtain determination such as Takao's…and I'll never be lead on into perfection…like you Kai.
Dammit…I know I still love you. I feel it…but do you still feel the same about me Kai? You've always been hesitant in our relationship…you told me you loved me. WAS IT A LIE? I NEED TO KNOW. If you loved me…why did you leave? Why did you go?
It was a lie…my whole life is an illusion. I'll never be blessed with happiness. NEVER. I am an imbecile…delusional…for believing…that you might come back to me. If you won't for me… at least make my friends happy. Kai…you don't know how much it hurts….
That impenetrable mask…still hides your soul.
Was I really that close to get you to break?
You mortified my heart….Is that the risk you take?
Do you know how much that affected my life, my all?
You were my frozen perfection.
A creak was heard and a silent figure stepped into the lonely area. The atmosphere was gloomy and it originated a hazy feeling. The curtains were drawn, preventing the sun's rays to shine through. The mahogany eyes widened slightly knowing this was an uncharacteristic change in the Chinese blader.
But of course…he wouldn't know for he hasn't been with the BladeBreakers for quite a while. He wouldn't know what changed, or hopefully if Takao or Max had matured at his absence, but now, he was only concerned for the golden-eyed feline that should be in this very room.
The owner's orbs darted around the room restlessly. There was dirt on the creamy tone wall…on the floor was a broken baby blue floral receptacle. Shards scattered all around the room. The two-toned blader took a step further in the hotel bedroom, his boots crunching the objects beneath him, creating more scatter on the carpet. At that sound, a twitch was made on the bed. The eyes snapped onto the bed.
A raven-haired creature were on the white sheets, curled to a feral ball. Vermillion orbs softened…he had hurt the one he loved…he knew it. That's why the air around him disintegrated from lively laughter and smiles shot from the neko-jin to a glum angel pouring his heart out.
Again he took another step, but this time the cat reacted to the sound. Rei shot his head up, golden orbs widening in surprise and slight fear. At the doorway, the impassive Russian was staring harshly at him, his expression revealing no emotion.
Rei was wearing a modest white sleeveless shirt, and baggy gray pants, very much in his sleeping attire. His hair was a mess, some out of their binding, flowing along the length of his body. Rei was sweating slightly, his eyes widened. Gold locked with crimson for a brief second, before Rei ruffled his blankets around, trying to free himself.
'No emotion…no he's gone back to his old self!'
Was all poor Rei could contemplate before he leapt out of his messy bed. Kai had his cold eyes fixing themselves on him…that frightened Rei. Kai took another step forward, as Rei couldn't resist but step back. He was alone with no one to help him if Kai was enraged. No matter what Rei did, Kai was too powerful for him to handle, if he tried to fight back, it would be futile for Rei knew Kai could easily defeat him.
Rei whimpered softly and gulped as Kai once again took a step forward and he stepped back.
Kai's insides were slightly baffled at Rei's reaction. Wasn't he happy to see him?
'No…he's scared…scared of me?'
Kai questioned himself as he tried to penetrate deeper into the golden gaze, searching softly for an answer. Kai bravely took another step, now glaring. Not at Rei, but at himself, for leaving Rei and for his power hungry urges.
Rei took another…
Kai took another, his white scarf trailing behind him.
Another step…another step…
Rei jumped as he noticed he was cornered when he hit the cold wall. He quickly scanned behind him, hoping to find an escape, but there was none. Rei fearfully returned his glance at Kai, who was now approaching him.
Rei balled his hands into fists and let his head drop, shutting his eyes, preparing for the worst. He heard closer footsteps, and felt a chest pressed against his own.
Kai glowered at the younger blader, looking down watching Rei in his feeble position. Why was he scared?
'It's only me…'
Kai drifted in his thought. "Rei." He growled harshly, trying to find an answer. As Kai Hiwatari, he didn't like being left in the dark. He also wanted to know why Rei, the person he cares most about, is acting like this.
When not receiving a response from the Chinese blader, Kai gripped onto his shoulders and jerked him slightly. "Rei." He commanded in more of a harsher voice. Rei shook, trying to release himself from Kai's strong hold, but the Russian wouldn't let go.
Rei still refused to meet his eyes. "Rei, look at me." Rei didn't respond to the demand, still refusing to meet Kai's eyes. Kai attempted to lift Rei's head himself, but Rei quickly shook it off, not wanting to encounter Kai. If he kept refusing to him, hopefully Kai would just leave him alone.
Kai didn't like the rejecting actions, and the remorse was eating at him, now in a small hiss, Kai spoke "What the hell is the matter with you?"
Before Rei could respond, Kai used a free hand to twist his arms over his head, locking them. Rei rendered his arms useless now, for once Kai got a grip, he wasn't going to let go so soon. His head still faced on the furry carpet that tickled his bare feet, trying his hardest to not look up. Kai wasn't one of the people he would have liked to see so soon.
Kai cupped Rei's cheek with one hand and forcefully brought Rei's eyes to his. The tears were lined along the golden brims, turning slightly amber at Kai's presence. The piercing crimson didn't let out an emotion, just remained blank as he studied his lover. Rei's small frame wracked at Kai's touch.
"Rei, I don't care what you think of me now. I'm sorry I hurt you, you know I didn't want to go." Kai whispered harshly, uncomfortably close to Rei's ear. Rei shut his eyes and shuddered on Kai's ghostly affect, his old familiar feeling of passion were returning to him.
Kai crushed his lips onto Rei's, nipping at his bottom, forcing Rei's mouth apart with his tongue. Kai wrapped one of his arms around Rei's waist, possessively. At this action, the young blader flinched. Shuddering uncontrollably, he didn't want to submit himself to the one who left him, his stubborn blood denied it. It was his fault he left, and he wasn't about to let him have his way. Rei squeezed his fist tighter, hoping Kai would no he didn't want the attention. He shook his head to inform Kai he didn't want his lips to meet his, but whenever their lips were apart, Kai kept recapturing them with his own.
'Dammit…why won't you stop kissing me? LET GO!'
'Why are you being so unyielding…I didn't want to go.'
As Kai unraveled through Rei's mouth with his tongue, invading the tiger's territory. The tension of the Chinese blader was clear to him, but he didn't stop. His slippery member explored the lands. The hot tender flesh inside Rei's mouth and the scent the blader gave off drove Kai wild. The tingling sensations, the heat and moisture giving off, it was irresistible. Rei was currently being over powered by the two-toned enigma, until a devious scheme floated to his mind. As Kai traveled around the insides of Rei's cheeks, obtaining his saliva, he soon came to grazing over the catlike fangs.
After a few moments, sharp teeth bit down on Kai's tongue. Rei smirked, knowing Kai would soon release him…but Kai DIDN'T?! The red, copper blood slowly dripped into their mouths, tasting it's unique sour cringe. Kai latched onto Rei's waist harder, pushing themselves more up to the wall. Luckily, the room was dark, so the Russian couldn't see the raven-haired beauty blushing a variety of red and pink when he felt something hard pushing through Kai's navy pants.
Kai's hand trailed down to the hem of Rei's shirt, then inside, slowly making his way up the spine. Rei flinched slightly, biting down onto his bottom lip, doing his best to remain silent…oh, but the Russian knew that wouldn't be for long…
Smooth, caressing, circular patterns were made by the expert hands, digging into the gentle skin of the smaller form. "Kai--Stop…Can't--Breathe.." Rei spoke through, loosing his breathe on Kai's lustful, inflamed kiss. Only then, Kai had ceased, but not so far. Their noses were still touching. Both partners were heavily panting, sweating, wet with a blissful affect.
Kai started to kiss Rei's jaw seductively, leading his way down his neck, sometimes letting the head of his tongue slip through. Rei let out a small gasp, as Kai smirked knowing his kitten couldn't keep silent. It was just his nature. Kai reached his collarbone, allowing his tongue to escape the imprisonment of his lips, as Rei groaned, allowing his small fragile hands wove their way around Kai's slate hair, grabbing fistfuls, clutching tightly.
Kai made his way back to Rei's neck, and moving back slowly to his ear. He tentatively licked the lobe, before taking it whole, as he caressed Rei's back. Rei placed a hand between them, resting it onto Kai's rippling muscles. Rei moaned at his sensitivity of his ears…which Kai had kindly taken advantage of…
Silence…
"No. I wasn't sure if you wanted to go or not…I just knew you left." Rei murmured mostly to himself, but the Russian heard the whole thing. Kai shut his eyes frustrated and growled at his own mistake. Rei was right… how could he have known if he wanted to go? He hadn't so much left a note at his departure. Rei shook once more, believing Kai was displeased with his response.
"YOU CAN'T BLAME ME!" Rei was now quivering uncontrollably as he crystal tears flowed down his flawless face. His eyes were shut, and his sobs had shaken his voice.
Kai watched carefully as he was listening to the raven-haired beauty beneath him, hair loose and in his casual sleeping attire. The blood red eyes glistened, shimmering as he watched the Chinese blader.
"You can't blame me…how could you blame me? I didn't know if you wanted to go or not? I wasn't even sure why you left…you told me because you wanted more power…but you lied. I saw it in your eyes… I was scared…I didn't want to be hurt again…I was afraid…if I still loved you…I'd get hurt again…because you might leave me again…" Rei explained as more of his tears were let out. He choked on every word, trying to regain composure each time.
Kai was stunned…he didn't know he had affected him so much…why did he do this to him?
"And," Rei continued as Kai returned his attention to him. "I wasn't sure…if you left because of me…"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!" Kai roared immensely, also shutting his eyes, then slamming the boy further to the wall. "DON'T EVER SAY THAT! IT WASN'T YOU!" Kai growled, tears brimming in his eyes also.
"Ow…" Rei whimpered as he rubbed his bruised shoulder, still keeping his stare into Kai's eyes.
"THAT'S ENOUGH REI!" Kai continued, "HOW STUPID ARE YOU, EXACTLY?" He muttered through gritted teeth. "DO YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE SAD AND LONELY WHEN WE WERE APART?! DO YOU?! BECAUSE THAT'S ONE HELL OF A MISTAKE!" Crimson orbs locked, deeply searching through the golden gaze.
Kai's grasp on Rei slowly began to loosen as Kai reopened his eyes, and moisture began to brim around the edges. "Well, YOU'RE WRONG! BUT I DIDN'T DECIDE TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PROBLEM INTO SOME DREAM WORLD…I'M TIRED OF ALL OF THIS! IT'S SICKENING IN THE GUT!" He roared, louder than before.
"Didn't you see, Rei?" Kai spoke in a calmer tone. The tears were now appearing in his eyes. Rei looked up surprisingly…seeing Kai…expressing himself like that.
" I was just as sad and lonely as you were…In fact…I was lonelier." Kai spoke, choking on each word. Then he chuckled softly, trying to hide his sadness.
'Kai? Kai is…Kai is crying?'
Rei's eyes widened in realization."When we were apart…I was the one who couldn't handle it." Kai released a grip, and wiped his down pouring tears with his forearm, "The last time we were apart… I was scared… I didn't think I would make it…"
"Kai-koi? Don't hurt me again…"
"This time…I thought I had the confidence… to get through Voltaire…because I had you by my side. That's…That's what I thought. So how…HOW CAN YOU THINK I DIDN'T MISS YOU?!" Kai stated the last sentence louder in his speech, each word coming up a notch. His tears were now flowing, and they wouldn't stop no matter how much he refused to cry.
Rei looked up at Kai, feeling the tears coming back to his own eyes…
"Rei…You're never smiling…I need to see your smile…" Kai begged softly. "Smile…smile and tell me it will be okay, please?"
Rei gingerly lifted his arms to wrap them around Kai's neck. "Please?" Kai begged again, collapsing onto his knees in Rei's arms.
You walked right through the door…
Like nothing happened before…
You came back to me, but with so much more…
My Frozen Perfection…don't forsake our love..
You came back from above…
My frozen perfection so cold…
You're my frozen perfection…
Rei roused, stirring awake he revealed his golden orbs that were brightly shimmering. the sun shining through the curtain. He was sticky with sweat from last night's previous events. His hair came unbounded, flowing all over the mattress, a hand gently running through it. Rei rolled over. There, he found Kai propped up on his elbow, seeming to have been watching Rei for quite a while and the other arm, wrapped protectively around his waist.
"Good morning, Kai…" Rei smiled softly, as he spoke to his lover. "Hn. Kitten." Kai brought Rei closer and pulled him deep within his chest. Rei snuggled, fitting almost perfectly in Kai's embrace, as if it were the most natural thing possible. Kai allowed his chin to rest on top of Rei's raven hair and inhaled his intoxicating scent.
"Rei, I love you."
"I love you too, Kai, I love you too."
My Frozen perfection…
~*Owari*~
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T________T CRAPPY I know. SO KILL ME! At least my temptation is gone.
Review, flames and all. (CC and compliments most preferred! ^_^) If there is flaming involved, I would love them if they were from TyxKa fans! =D That would seriously make my day!
~*StarryNightObsession*~ a.k.a. ~*Mae*~