Aizen's Secret Tattoo
It was a mystery to many, what Aizen's body looked like underneath his clothes. Fangirls went crazy depicting it, animators slammed their heads on tables trying to figure out how to draw it, Lady Gaga tried to steal her costume back and simultaneously catch a glimpse in vain. Not many had seen Aizen's true body. However...
It was another gloomy day in Hueco Mundo. But Aizen was strangely happy. In fact, he'd just gone into town that day and bought a new radio. Several of the Espada thought it suspicious, because he'd been there much longer than it would've taken to just buy a radio. Aizen reflected on the surprise he'd found in town that day...(The Town: A town much like a normal town, but populated by Hollows. Cannibalism rates are sky-high, with only the stronger ones surviving [unless you're an adorable Hollow puppy no one can resist].)
He'd strolled into town that day intending to do something he'd always wanted to do: get a tattoo. There were several tattoo parlors, but Aizen chose the one that looked the most professional. Interestingly enough, its name was Silver's Tattoo Parlor, just like Gin's name ("Gin" means silver in Japanese). He walked in, and lo and behold! There sat Gin behind the counter, grinning his trademark grin and delicately putting a tube of ink into the tattoo-machine-needle-thing. He looked up as he finished and noticed Aizen standing there, mouth open wide enough to catch a butterfly along with some mosquitoes. "Well, nice to meet you here, Aizen-sama! It's so nice of you to come here and visit me! Or did you come to get a tattoo?"
Aizen hurriedly shut his gaping mouth. "Ahem that is, erm...I actually came here to get a tattoo," he said awkwardly. Gin's smile got even bigger, if it was even anatomically possible for that to happen. "Alright! A paying customer! So, what kind of tattoo would you like today? And where would you like it, sir?" Aizen looked uncomfortable. "Um, you see, that is, I..." "Go on," said Gin. "I'm listening."
Embarrassed, Aizen said, "I'd like my tattoo to be of...I'd like it to be...uh..." And he pointed to Gin, then to a very private spot on his body. Gin's faced suddenly lost all of its color, his eyes were slightly opened in disbelief, and he wasn't smiling anymore. "Ah! Er...If that's where you want it...and if that's the tattoo you want...um...It'll be rather costly..." Aizen, now a lovely shade of bright red, waved his arms around. "No, it's fine! I have plenty of money (that I stole from the tax money those Arrancars pay me)!" After that followed an extremely uncomfortable few hours in which Gin proceeded to tattoo his own face above Aizen's intimate parts. Gin was the one who suggested buying the radio afterwards, as a coverup story. So that was how Gin knew about Aizen's secret tattoo. His face still burns red each time he remembers...
Oh, I can't help laughing every time I reread this. Even if I'm the one who wrote this.
Completely un-canon, not true, though it would be interesting to see if he has any weird tattoos on underneath. Even Lady Gaga wants to know.
Try and guess where Aizen wanted his tattoo.