Disclaimer: I don't owe gundam wing TT and I don't earn any profit from this fic…. But the story is mine!!!
Hi all! Hope you all enjoy this one-shot! It is about Duo and Heero…
Well…I have been told that I am nagging so I think it is better to just read?
"What happened?" Trowa demanded angrily though he took Quatre's limp body from Duo, "Status?"
"We screwed up," Duo answered sheepishly, not meeting anyone's eyes, "and 04 sustained a concussion and some bruises."
To say the truth, his vision was blurred. He could hardly see the others even though he knew the lights were on. His whole body was hurting but he held on to his mask. He had to.
"I am sorry, guys. We got caught when we were almost out of the base," he said simply. Somehow, his mind could not think of anything to say now.
"You mean you screwed up. I doubt Winner will make any mistakes," Wufei started his rant, "this is injustice, Maxwell! The war might be just a game to you and your gundam is your toy. But the rest of us here take the war seriously! Let me guess, the mission failed because you were playing? Or you made a reckless move? It is this attitude that makes you the weakest link in our group! And what's more is that you hurt your comrade due to this attitude of yours! Don't you think you should be responsible?"
Game…Toy…Reckless…Weakest… Hurt comrade… Duo thought sadly, so that's how they thought of me. Maybe my mask was too good? Or am I really that bad? Am I really that worthless?
Yet the mask had to be there, Duo decided as he tried to summon a fake grin and think of a smart reply like he always did. To hide the pain that he felt from those words. However, he swayed a little and his mind could not think of anything.
"I am sorry, guys. Maybe I should have held on to the disk," Duo answered as he added mentally, and not give it to Quatre. Then he would not have dropped it and we would not be discovered.
Without a word, a punch was thrown into his face. He could not see who did it but he knew it had to be Trowa. After all, Trowa cared a lot about Quatre.
"Stop it, Barton," Duo heard Heero yell as he stood up slowly.
I deserved it, Duo thought, it's my duty to look out for Quatre. Moreover, I can't have them think it's Quatre's fault. Let me take the blame. However, I still have to keep my mask. God, it's so tiring. I think I am slipping away. Must go to the room as soon as possible.
"I say I'm sorry! Isn't it enough? I am going back to my room!" Duo yelled angrily.
Without waiting for an answer, he turned and started to walk in the direction of the outline of the stairs towards his room.
One foot in front of the other. Yes, Duo, you can do it. Just a little more. After the stairs, turn right. Yes, slowly. One foot in front of another, Duo thought
After what seemed like hours of moving his feet through sheer will, he had finally managed to grab the knob on his room door or at least he thought was his room. He could no longer see anything.
Once he opened the door, his world became dark and he fell limply on the floor.
Downstairs, Wufei was still ranting about the injustice of giving a gundam to an irresponsible boy while Heero was suppressing the urge to punch Wufei right in the face. That might stop the boy from ranting about things he did not know about and teach him not to insult Duo again.
But then the perfect soldier will not do that, Heero thought, the perfect soldier will not punch his comrade just because that person is ignorant and rude. No, the perfect soldier will just ignore the ranting and continued with what he is doing. And I am the perfect soldier.
But then again, I hate this perfect soldier thing, Heero thought angrily, why must I be the perfect soldier? Follow my emotions, that is what Odin had thought me yet, being the perfect soldier means having no emotions. So what am I supposed to follow? Why must I be the one to be deprived of having emotions? To be the perfect soldier?
"He had to reflect on his actions! This is injustice that…" Wufei's words were really irritating Heero but on the outside, Heero made no show of his annoyance.
"I am going back to my room," he said in a monotone and started towards his room without waiting for an answer.
Maybe it is my duty to be the perfect soldier and Duo to be the joker? Heero continued his thoughts as he walked towards his room, speaking of Duo, there was something wrong about him just now. Maybe the failure of the mission was not his fault. Duo treats all his missions seriously as he does to everything though he does everything with a smile or a joke.
To say the truth, Heero was quite intrigued with the braided pilot. He had researched the pilot's past. There was almost nothing but Duo did say he was from L2 and his name was of great significant to himself. The name Maxwell Heero could relate to anything from L2 was the Maxwell Church Massacre. If Duo was the sole survivor mentioned in the news, then how could he act so cheerful?
Then again, sharing a room with the braided pilot a couple of times enabled him to observe the boy more often. When Duo thought that no one is around, he is very different from what he usually acts. He is quiet and seems to be deep in thoughts. Heero knows this as a fact. He had spent quite a number of times observing the boy without the boy knowing his presence. Master stealth, the boy might be but he was not as good as Heero when it comes to detecting other people's presence.
It was like a mask the braided boy wore when he was around the others. A happy joking mask to hide his real self. Like him, Heero hides all his true emotions behind his perfect soldier mask. Death glares and threats.
It was then he realized that Duo might be hurt. He did not stay and tease Chang about his ranting or to make sure Quatre was okay. He did not even report his own status. He had retreated to his room quickly.
That baka! Didn't he know he should let the others know about his injuries? After all, isn't he the one who always fusses over each of our injuries everytime one of us comes back from our missions? Heero ranted mentally.
Duo is always jumping around, asking everyone how they are feeling. It did annoy him as the braided baka shot questions after questions at him. But no matter how he threatened Duo, Duo does not give up until he is sure he is alright or that he is fine. Yet only Quatre is the only one who always asks about Duo. And that said person was now unconscious.
Just as he was about to knock on Duo's door, he realized that Duo did not have a first aid kit in his room. They had only managed to find three of them. The rest of the kits were in their own gundams. He was supposed to share one with Duo until they could find more of these kits.
Cursing silently, he made his way to his own room. However, as he opened his door, he tripped over something lying across the floor. Instinctively, he switched on his lights with one hand while the other hand grabbed his gun in seconds.
Once his vision adjusted in to the light quickly, he realized in shock that he had tripped over Duo.
Duo was lying on the floor, not moving.
Shocked, he kneeled down and checked the pilot's pulse. He was relieved when he found the weak but definite pulse. Gently, he carried the pilot and put him down on his bed. Then he went to retrieve the first aid kit in his bathroom.
He shook the braided pilot tenderly, trying to wake him up to get his status report. He did not want to touch his wounds or anything. From what he could see and smell, he was sure that the baka was not bleeding.
"Duo, wake up," he said as he shook the braided pilot.
After a few minutes of shaking, Duo finally opened his eyes and stared at Heero, confusion showing in his eyes for a few seconds before they focused on Heero.
"Heero?" he asked, "what are you doing in my room?"
"Baka, you are in my room," Heero replied in a monotone, "status?"
"I am fine! I am just tired!" Duo managed a grin though he was feeling pain all over his body.
"Hn," Heero snorted in disbelief. He could see the pain in Duo's eyes. It was really like a mask. A broken one since Duo was in to much pain to hold the mask together. He just had to know how to look past that mask.
"Status or I could just strip you and discovered that myself, and I still want to hear your report on the mission," Heero commanded.
"Fine," Duo answered, "just some bruises, nothing I can't take care of. We went in, got the data, disk dropped, discovered, got caught, got beaten up, got out, came back and mission failed."
Duo said quickly, trying not to give in to his pain and weariness. One of his ribs might have broken since the pain in his chest was so overwhelming. He could hardly breathe. He was trying so hard to slow his breathing to ease the pain. Moreover, his eyelids were so heavy. Yet, he had to keep up his mask. After all, he is happy cheerful and irritating Duo.
"Baka," Heero scolded, "just admit you are in pain."
"No way. I run, I hide, but I never lie! So I'm fine!" Duo protested as Heero tried to unbutton his shirt.
"You don't lie. You only leave out things that are important," Heero stated in a deadpan as he looked at the bruises across Duo's chest, "where else?"
"Only the chest," Duo answered, wincing as Heero shifted him a bit to wrap bandages around him, "and the head where Trowa hit me just now."
"I think one of your ribs might be fractured. You will need to have Sally or Trowa to look at it later. Now breathe shallowly and don't move so much," Heero ordered, "what exactly happened?"
"Huh?" Duo asked, confused.
"How you got the bruises? How Quatre got hurt?" Heero asked as he finished shifting Duo on the bed.
"Well, we got caught and then they handcuffed me and Quatre from the ceiling and all," Duo answered jokingly, "well, I think my mouth doesn't like myself. As usual, they got angry and started to beat me up. But they only managed for a short time before they were called away. By then I got the key and we got out. We took a truck and dashed off with Oz, hot on our tail. I think Quatre hit his head as I turned the truck too quickly. He did not use the seatbelt. So moral of the story is to use a seatbelt?"
Heero snorted in reply. Only Duo could joke about a mission. However, Duo's thoughts seemed a bit incoherent. He could see that he seemed to be in pain but was hiding behind his mask.
As usual. Use his mask to hide. What's new? Heero thought sarcastically.
"The disk?" Heero asked. Somehow he knew that Duo was not telling him the whole thing.
"I did not hold on to the disk," Duo replied with a sheepish grin, "I am sorry. But I had destroyed the information at Oz base. The disk was destroyed before they could get it back."
He's hiding something. He kept using the word "held on" and not "dropped". He never lie but he hides, Heero thought as he continued to ask in a monotone, "did you drop the disk?"
"I told you I should have held on to the disk!" Duo snapped as he cursed mentally, Shit! did Heero know I am hiding? How? Isn't my mask holding?
"I ask you, 02, did you drop the disk or not?" Heero pressed on.
He had to know he can stop hiding with me. Not for his sake but mine as well. Everytime he hides, there is this pain in my heart. Like I am upset that he does not trust me. I want him to trust me. Shit! I am not supposed to be feeling this, Heero cursed himself mentally but on the outside, he was glaring at the braided pilot.
"I…I…it's my fault, okay?" Duo tried weakly.
"Yes or no?" Heero smirked, knowing that Duo could not lie or hide with a direct question. It was easy to exploit Duo's motto of "I run. I hide but I never lie."
"No," Duo murmured quietly, "I passed it to Quatre."
"Okay, so it's Winner who dropped it?" Heero just said quietly.
"It was not Quatre's fault that he dropped! It was a mistake anyone could make!" Duo defended his friend as he winced in pain. He really should not be shouting.
"If it's not Quatre's fault, it is even less likely to be your fault," Heero said simply.
"Heero… do you think I am really worthless?" Duo asked hesitantly.
Wufei's words started to echo in his mind, reckless… the weakest link…
"Baka," Heero merely scolded.
"Maybe Wufei is really right. I mean everything I do, someone gets hurt. I am the weakest here?" Duo said self mockingly.
"You're not, Duo. Ignore Chang," Heero glared at Duo. In his mind, he wished that he had really punched Wufei for all the nonsense he had been ranting.
"Heero, can I ask you a favor?" Duo asked seriously. He did not know why he was going to do that. But somehow, he knew he could trust Heero.
"Hn," Heero answered as Duo tried to sit up, "baka! What are you doing?"
"Heero…can…you don't look at me for five minutes and lend me your shoulder?" Duo said softly.
"Duo?" Heero asked with a hint of confusion though he did shift a bit to allow Duo to lean on his shoulder without causing more pain to his chest.
"Please, Heero, don't look at me now? I will continue to smile by the end of the five minutes. Just a little while? I promise I will turn back… just let my mask mend? I am so tired…" Duo asked as Heero brought his hands up to hug the injured boy gently to provide some comfort.
"It's so tiring, Heero. I am so tired… I want to break the mask and throw it away. But I can't do that! It is a part of me that I cannot survive without. But I am so tired and I don't want to do this anymore…" Duo murmured softly.
"Am I really the weakest link? Am I the one who keep hurting others? I tried so hard to make sure the others are safe yet everyone I care about kept getting hurt? I am trying, Heero but it's so hard and I don't know if there is anyone in the world who appreciate my effort… but I can't stop trying… it's like giving up… but everytime I care about someone… the person dies… why?" Duo muttered.
"Solo… Father Maxwell… Sister Helen… maybe I should not be close to any of you like what Wufei had said I m hurting my friends. You might die like the others I care about. Maybe I should not be here. After all… I only create chaos and pain," Duo continued.
Heero could feel his shirt becoming damp but Duo made no sounds to indicate he's crying. To say the truth, Heero was stunned at the thought that Duo was crying.
Is this the same cheerful mischievous boy that I have known? The boy that jokes and plays pranks on everyone? The pilot who cannot stop his chatter even in battles? Heero asked himself, how can he manage to keep that mask up? How can he hide all his pain? I only see glimpses of it and maybe Quatre knows something about his feelings with his space heart. But the others… I don't think they even have a clue…
"I'm sorry for being weak… but I have already tried so hard… it's so tiring…" Duo continued quietly. Heero thought he heard suppressed sobs.
How long have you wear the mask, Duo? Heero asked in his mind, how long?
"I… I… thanks Heero. I think five minutes are up. I am sorry for letting you see me like that. I'm sorry. But don't worry. My mask is mended. I am back. Don't worry I won't let down my mask. Thanks and sorry," Duo babbled on as he pulled himself away from Heero. He could not look at Heero in his eyes.
He must hate me for being such a coward. I am so weak. And I cry. Big boys don't cry, Duo scolded himself mentally, but it felt so good to be comforted by someone.
"I think I will go to sleep," Duo said as he added mentally, if everything fails, hide. Talk in the morning or some other time.
"I'm not sorry," Heero said in a monotone that caused Duo to look into his eyes.
"Huh?" he could not understand what Heero was implying.
"I'm not sorry for what you just did. And you should not be too," Heero said again.
"Heero?" Duo was confused and lost. He could not process Heero's words. His mind was tired and his eyelids were dropping as Heero shifted him gently back to lie on the bed.
"It's good to let out your emotions and you are not the weakest link. Chang was ranting nonsense. Now go to sleep," Heero said tenderly.
"Heero?" Duo could not help thinking that it was not reality. Heero Yuy does not speak gently!
"Just go to sleep, Baka," Heero said again as he switched off the light and ready to exit the room. Looks like he had to spend the night in Duo's room instead.
"Wait, Heero!" Duo called out, wincing once again at the pain.
Why is it so hard to remember not to shout? I must really like to hurt myself, he thought darkly.
"Yes?" Heero answered.
"Can you stay with me?" Duo asked hesitantly. Somehow, he felt safer when Heero was around and with Heero, he did not have to worry about nightmare, "it's okay if you don't want to. I am just being an idiot."
Heero snorted but he walked towards Duo and shifted Duo a bit before holding him gently. He made sure that he was not hurting Duo. Duo tried to say something but he was cut off by a yawn.
"Go to sleep, baka," Heero said, "just know that you might have a strong mask but I have a stronger hammer."
"Heero?" Duo asked, surprised.
"Don't keep your mask. It's not healthy to wear it all the time. One day, I will break your happy mask." Heero merely said.
Is he saying that he could see my mask? Is he saying that he does not like me wearing the mask all the time? Does that mean that he cares about me? Duo thought happily.
"Heero, does that mean that I could break your perfect soldier mask someday? The mask does not suit you," Duo replied quietly.
Heero's eyes widened in the dark, he could see through my mask as well? I did not know he knew about the perfect soldier mask.
"Hn," Heero did not know what to say.
"Ne, Heero, can I use a scythe instead of a hammer? Scythe is much cooler," Duo said as he drifted off to sleep.
"Baka," Heero scolded lightly though a smile was on his face. Too bad Duo could not see the smile.
"One day, we can throw our masks all away, Baka. Oyasumi nasai," Heero whispered gently as he too drifted off to sleep.
Okay! Finished… thanks for reading! Is the story okay? I am sorry for any grammatical errors! I will try my best to improve! What do you think? Do you think I should continue to write about how Trowa and Wufei reacted when Quatre woke up and told them they are wrong? Please review! Thanks a lot!