I'm So Jealous. I Really Am. Not.
Kaoru's always with that guy. Natsuki or whatever. It's like they're joined at the hip.
I used to be Kaoru's best friend. We'd joke around and prank people all the time. It was fun.
But then that guy came.
Natsuki. I don't like his name.
Kaoru was the first girl he approached, the first person he approached. He congratulated her on her win, just like I usually did. They started talking, and then I was introduced.
Since then I avoided them.
Kaoru would come up to me sometimes, ask me what was wrong and why she never saw me anymore. I said my life got a lot busier than it used to be, that I'd try to see her.
That was our last real conversation.
She'd say hi in the hallways and in class, whenever she saw me in the streets. But I'd never reply, pretending to not hear, and duck my head, hiding myself in the crowd. Because she was always with that guy.
Rumors started up about them, how they were going out and how cute they were. Kaoru would deny them, of course, but her cheeks would be flushed and I'd wonder that she was really thinking.
I didn't like the sound of that any more than I liked his name.
He wasn't good enough for her, nobody was good enough for her. Was I jealous? Of course not, why would I be? I'm just thinking about the best for her. Or something.
My brothers tried asking me what was wrong. I'd become fairly quiet in the past few months, and they were getting worried.
Boomer was more persistent, attempting to strike up a conversation whenever he had the time, but I would always come up with some errand and excuse myself.
Brick was more tactical, deciding instead to observe my actions and confront me. But I was used to his tricks, and avoided him. He never got a straight answer out of me.
Kaoru's friends, Momoko and Miyako, acted as messangers for her. They'd come up to me every day and ask me, How are you? Kaoru misses you. You never talk to her anymore.
Like my brothers, they were ignored.
A month or so passed, and the rumors still didn't let up. Once, I walked to school early and saw, on the chalkboard, 'NatsukiXKaoru' in big white letters. I erased it.
By then, I had almost completely faded out of Kaoru's life. She didn't say hi to me anymore. Rather, I didn't let her. All I allowed myself to receive was a simple nod of acknowledgement, maybe a smile if I was slow. I was usually slow. She'd get that spark in her eye and open her mouth to, I imagine, call me over. But I'd always disappear before my name would slip through her lips.
Because that guy was always around her. He'd give me a curious glance sometimes, like he was trying to figure me out. Ha, fat chance.
He cornered me once and asked me, Why do you keep on ignoring Kaoru? She's your friend, right?
I told him the same thing I told her, but he probably didn't believe me.
It was a lie anyways.
Weeks later, he asked her out, in front the entire school, and I went into some kind of rage. I don't really remember all of that. I fell into some kind of coma after some kid hit me with a book to knock me out.
I was visited by all of them, everyone I knew and a few I didn't. Even Kaoru. With that guy. They apologized, and for what reason I couldn't fathom. Explained that the whole 'asking out' thing was a joke, something to baffle the crowd. I pretended to be mute.
Today, a year after he came, I'm still 'mute.' Kaoru tried to talk to me those past few months, but I had a reason to not answer her. Because he was there. He was always there.
I guess today was different.
She came up to and asked if I was really bothered by that old rumor. I shook my head.
Don't lie to me, she scoffed, and pulled at my hair. It was almost like before, with her bullying me into telling her my secrets.
I am not, I mouthed back.
I can tell you're bothered, she protested. Why?
There was a long silence between us.
Tell me, she insisted, and stared up at me with those big green eyes.
I hesitated, but decided to go for it. I could tell she's been mulling over it for a while.
Because, I said, finally speaking for the first time in a long time. He's not good enough for you. And... I stopped. She deserved the very best. She didn't need anything slowing her down.
And then I walked away from her, thinking, Neither am I.
I don't own these people.
Just a little insight into Butch's mind.
Kind of AU, no powers ('cuz then it'd get too complicated for me, it was hard enough for me to wrap my tiny little brain around mixing up the manga and anime).
I wanted to start a series of oneshots on jealousy centered around Natsuki and Kaoru's friendship. There would be multiple couples of course. I just wanted to begin with my favorite pairing.
Natsuki is a guy that Momoko is crushing on in the PPGZ manga. He's pretty awesome, and I was pretty pissed to find he wasn't in the anime, like I was pissed to find the RowdyRuffs and a bunch of other villians were missing from the manga.
So yeah, I don't have much left to say.
