In which Naruto won't leave things be. Team Seven crack!fic.
Disclaimer: No, Naruto is not mine. Be logical.
It was yet another cloudy day in the village of Konohagakure as shinobi teams made their way to training fields to do precisely that. One team in particular had already arrived and were currently standing about, apparently deciding that waiting for their jounin instructor was a more productive thing to do than warm up for their exercises.
"Why is he not here yet?" A certain blonde groaned in a rather loud and irritating manner.
"Hn," his raven-haired teammate helpfully put forth.
The blonde stuck his tongue out at his friend/rival/frival in a ridiculous manner. Sakura sighed as she stood off to the side, listening to him respond. "How about you say something useful? Like 'oh, gee, Naruto, your hair is so much sexier than my own!'"
The Uchiha decided to ignore him in favor of standing in a rather dramatic and appealing fashion.
Sasuke's hair fluttered dramatically.
"Why is it doing that? There isn't even a breeze!" Naruto snarked, eyebrows furrowed into a quite obvious frown.
The non-existent breeze fluttered Sasuke's hair again. Sasuke stared, making no move to console the blonde. "What are you talking about?" the brunette asked, tossing his head in a manner reminiscent of a supermodel. "If there were no breeze, then my hair would not be fluttering in this appealing manner."
Naruto's face twitched as he stared down at his clothing, which was quite obviously not fluttering in a breeze of any sort. He glared back up at his friend/rival/frival. "So it is a selective breeze, is it?"
"I would assume so," Sasuke nodded in satisfaction. His hair fluttered in agreement.
"OH, BULLSHIT! Stop doing that!" The blonde roared quite temperamentally, stomping his foot in what he saw as a mature fashion.
"Doing what?" Sasuke's eyebrow rose in a condescending manner, hair shimmering smugly.
Naruto snarled quite inarticulately, stomping about in a circle. "So now I bet your hair shimmers because of the sun, WHICH IS NOT OUT MIGHT I ADD, like it is doing so right now?"
"Naruto, I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this," Sakura noted, bored already with their frequent arguments.
Sasuke nodded in agreement. "It is almost as if you have some fascination with my hair," trailing off with a smirk. His hair shimmered again in a rather teasing fashion.
The blonde found this flabbergasting. Turning to the pinkette, he gestured at Sasuke's proud 'do frantically. "Can't you see what's going on? Look at it, Sakura!"
She gazed at Sasuke's hair obligingly for a moment. "Well, it is rather nice," she conceded, apparently missing the entire point that Naruto was attempting to make.
Sasuke's hair fluttered bashfully.
"THERE! Did you see it?" He vibrated in place, foot stomping and finger flung towards the spiky duck-like 'do.
Sakura stared closer, circling her brunette teammate. "It gives off quite a radiant shine."
Sasuke's head inclined at the compliment. "Thank you, Sakura," he murmured modestly, his hair shimmering in an obliging fashion.
Both ignored the inarticulate gargling of the blonde and continued to wait for their lazy instructor.
"Do you think that he shall show up any time soon, Sasuke?" She asked, for lack of anything better to say.
Sasuke continued to stand in a dramatic and appealing fashion. "Hn," he uttered in an eloquent manner. Sasuke's hair fluttered negatively.
Sakura nodded in agreement, continuing to ignore the spasming blonde. "I totally agree. We should be used to this by now."
The brunette frowned down quite meaningfully at the squiggling blonde.
"Naruto, get up off the ground." Sakura tutted reproachfully, shaking her head.
Said fish-cake gave a fitful moan of frustration, staying where he was. "You two are ganging up on me. You know exactly what I'm talking about and you still pick on me."
"What are you talking about? You are being ridiculous." Sakura frowned down at him, placing her hands on her hips for greater emphasis. Sasuke let out a Hn of agreement, turning his head to the side before staring off into the distance.
Sasuke's hair fluttered dramatically.
Naruto sighed.
Obviously, this ending is a bit of a failure to me. Ah well.
See? See? I'm alive after all!
All comments are appreciated.