Disclaimer: I do not own Middle Earth, Legolas, Starbucks.ect.
Legolas appears on TV screens all over Middle Earth. He is seen standing in front of a Starbucks. The sign that once said Starbucks has a cheap banner that stated "Legolas' Salon/Spa Place". The freaking Starbucks lady icon thing had two triangles taped over its ears in order to make it look like an elf.
"Hello! I am Legolas Greenleaf and if you haven't noticed, I am extremely attractive." Legolas says as the camera moves closer and closer to his face. "Unfortunately not everybody can be as beautiful as mwa. This sad but true fact inspired me to open my very own salon/spa called Legolas' Salon/Spa Place."
The Camera focuses on the sign. Then back to Legolas who was staring at himself in a mirror fixing his hair and picking spinach out of his teeth. The camera man clears his throat to get Legolas' attention. Slightly startled, Legolas drops the mirror.
"Whoops, seven year of bad luck. No worries, I am immortal. Seven years will go by just like that." Legolas struggles to snap his fingers but is failing horribly.
"Anyway. This Salon/Spa place will help the ugly people of Middle Earth." (Pictures of Eowyn and Arwen flash across the screen.) However we don't promise miracles. (Pictures of Orcs, trolls, Gollum, and Gimli flash across the screen.)
When the pictures are done "flashing" we see Legolas surrounded by fan girls pawning at him. "Ouch!" he screamed.
"I got a lock of his hair!" squealed a fan girl.
"And for that you shall die!" Legolas said as he shot her with an arrow. "Come to my Salon/Spa in the Middle Earth Mini Mall. The first 26,077,501,874 customers get a free mocha-capafrapachino- expresso-soymilk lat?."
Legolas appears on TV screens all over Middle Earth. He is seen standing in front of a Starbucks. The sign that once said Starbucks has a cheap banner that stated "Legolas' Salon/Spa Place". The freaking Starbucks lady icon thing had two triangles taped over its ears in order to make it look like an elf.
"Hello! I am Legolas Greenleaf and if you haven't noticed, I am extremely attractive." Legolas says as the camera moves closer and closer to his face. "Unfortunately not everybody can be as beautiful as mwa. This sad but true fact inspired me to open my very own salon/spa called Legolas' Salon/Spa Place."
The Camera focuses on the sign. Then back to Legolas who was staring at himself in a mirror fixing his hair and picking spinach out of his teeth. The camera man clears his throat to get Legolas' attention. Slightly startled, Legolas drops the mirror.
"Whoops, seven year of bad luck. No worries, I am immortal. Seven years will go by just like that." Legolas struggles to snap his fingers but is failing horribly.
"Anyway. This Salon/Spa place will help the ugly people of Middle Earth." (Pictures of Eowyn and Arwen flash across the screen.) However we don't promise miracles. (Pictures of Orcs, trolls, Gollum, and Gimli flash across the screen.)
When the pictures are done "flashing" we see Legolas surrounded by fan girls pawning at him. "Ouch!" he screamed.
"I got a lock of his hair!" squealed a fan girl.
"And for that you shall die!" Legolas said as he shot her with an arrow. "Come to my Salon/Spa in the Middle Earth Mini Mall. The first 26,077,501,874 customers get a free mocha-capafrapachino- expresso-soymilk lat?."