Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. Thanks again buddy, you're the man. The rest is mine.
Chapter 1: Last Roll Call
"Mister Vakarian," the human calls out.
"Here Sergeant Major!" yelled Garrus at the top of his lungs. Some of the older non-commissioned officers in formation may have been taken aback by the distinctly Turian roar but they barely let it show.
Tali almost couldn't hear his reply though her sobs. She tried to remain rigid, head held high, arms at her sides, and fingers curled with her thumbs resting lightly atop her forefingers. The humans' position of attention, as John had taught her.
"Corporal Fredericks," the human called again.
"Here Sergeant Major!" The Marine replied.
This time Tali begins to quiver, he knees weak and betraying her despair. Staring at the M-8 plunged into the ground, supporting an N-7 helmet, all behind a pair of black boots and a photo of John's smiling face just made her sink deeper into anguish. She tried desperately to blink away the moisture that filled her eyes. No. Suck it up, girl. You need to get this right for Him. That's right, focus on the mission. This service is your mission for the time being. Grieve later, the mission always comes first.
"Miss T'Soni."
"Here Sergeant Major!" Her voice was strained almost to the point of breaking.
Tali kept her head facing forward while shifting her eyes ever so slightly to her left. Her bright eyes locked on the poor woman. Liara didn't have a visor to hide her grief. She was as close to John as Garrus was. She could have been closer, but for Tali. I shouldn't have gotten in between them. John and I could never have been together even if he weren't with the ancestors. Instead I had to be selfish and take what I knew I couldn't use. If I had stepped back and encouraged Liara I wouldn't have started down the path with Him, and I wouldn't feel so -
"Flight Lieutenant Moreau." The decorated Command Sergeant Major interrupted her mental bargaining.
Tali's head swung hard to the right, down the front row of the formation, her glowing eyes further alight with hatred as they bored into the lieutenant.
Joker's reply was subdued. "Here Sergeant Major."
When I'm done with him I'll be able to show Garrus the real meaning of properly contrite. His stupidity put Shepard, both the Shepards, in danger. Killed them both. Had he spared one tenth of one second while in the cockpit to call down to engineering, to call her, he would have been told that the Normandy was a lost cause. At the time of the incident above Alchera she had wanted to pull the space jockey's head clean off his shoulders for endangering Him.
"Gunnery Chief Williams," was the next name to be called.
"Here Sergeant Major!" Ashley's reply was well practiced, clear, and with perfect inflection. She had been to too many of these ceremonies.
Tali's eyes locked forward again. Ashley had been the one to coach Tali on the particulars of this Human military tradition. Tali understood that there were many of them; they could be used for anything from mundane activities like eating to truly essential events like the commissioning of a brand new warship. Wrex would be proud of these people when sees the vid. She would be attending another of these traditions for Jane after this, involving an Alliance fighter formation with one spacecraft missing. And then Kaidan's roll call the following day... Ok, my turn.
She took a very deep breath and held it as she turned off her mask's vocalizer and opened its emergency atmospheric ports with the press of a microswitch. One she wired into her glove for this occasion. Ancestors, don't screw this -
"Miss Zorah"
"Here Sergeant Major!" She bellowed in perfect, unencumbered English as clearly and confidently as she could manage. The sounds she made passing freely through the now unrestricted mask. She quickly released the momentary switch, bring back her mask's default settings and triggering its evacuation cycle. It quickly removed all the foreign air and contaminants. Finally she took a deep breath of filtered air.
Several sets of eyes turned to her as she finished, and even a few heads. No one had ever heard a Quarian speaking English before. And certainly none had ever heard a Quarian's natural voice. Many now wondered if this singular honor would cost the poor girl her life. All took it as a sign of the respect that this young girl had for her commander. Keelah, I didn't mean to be a distraction, to take anything away from the ceremony. Ancestors, what have I done? This mission isn't over yet! Don't break down in shame now. Get this over with and then throw yourself out an airlock.
Tali's part in the ceremony was done. She let her thoughts travel to other things as the names and responses droned on. Chakwas, Tanaka... She thought of the times she and John had together, the long talks lasting late into the night. The smile that graced the chiseled features of his face every time he set his eyes on her. She thought of the fear of him she had when she first set eyes on him. Then of the respect and finally true admiration that came shortly thereafter.
She thought of the first time he touched her. The first time out of combat anyway.
...
It was gently on the shoulder and it was done merely to get her attention. But it aggravated her. Whoever you are, you don't know me like that...
While she was hunched over a container trying to select which variety of nutrient paste to have for lunch, Tali felt a large, most likely masculine hand come to rest on her left shoulder. She was playing the latest Human dance music in her helmet and probably hadn't heard whoever it was- if they had bothered to call her name first- but that was still no excuse. Why not contact me through my omni-tool? Maybe just a tap on the shoulder? Did they really need to place their entire hand with its five wiggly, underdeveloped fingers over my entire shoulder like that? She angrily rounded on the man. These Humans are so intimate with each other, it's pretty creepy. Only Commander Shepard understands that; he has a Quarian's level of respect for personal space and he expects the same from others toward him. Ah, Commander Shepard...
"Ah! C-Commander Shepard!" She half screamed, half stammered after originally intending on starting a discussion about Quarian sensibilities with whoever it was. She stared wide-eyed at her commander, her glare of disdain replaced with a look of shock, her right hand now over her heart. As wide as her eyes were, she thought they might be illuminating her whole face.
Definitely not who she was expecting. Anyone but him. He did not need a lecture about personal space. Or rather he did, but one that stressed the Quarian custom of ground commanders cuddling their combat engineers after every mission. Or the Quarian ritual of giving pre- and post-combat back-rubs to anyone named John Shepard. Or the one where...
"Tali," Shepard asked, his eyes showing a tinge of worry, "Everything alright?" He reinforced his question with gentle squeeze from his big, soft, warm hand with its five beautiful, delicate little fingers...
She lost all train of thought for a second. She started to say something, stuttered, started again, then stopped altogether. Hand. His hand. On shoulder. Just squeezed. Uhhhh... Yeah... Still there. Don't move. Don't move it. Please, Ancestors, don't let him move it yet.
He brought his hand from her shoulder to his waist and locked his thumb into one of his belt loops, mirroring its opposite. The minutest hint of a smirk played across his face. Does that bosh'tet actually know what he does to me when he's around?
"I wanted to let you know," John began again, "that I had something better than that stuff," he pointed at the box of tubes she had been digging through, "delivered in the last LOGPAC we got." As he spoke he reached into a cupboard behind her and produced another container.
"Wow, um, th-thank you. I mean, you really shouldn't have spent the ship's money on something like this. I can make due with- "
John raised a hand as a bashful smile played across his face. "Sure you could, but what's done is done. The money's spent so don't waste it now. I certainly won't eat it. Besides, I think you deserve something special for all you've done in this campaign."
A smile crept across Tali's face as she stared into his eyes. One of the benefits of having entirely luminescent eyes is the inability of anyone to distinguish the location of her pupils at any given time. It would have given her away as she contemplated the wonders of the human eye. They were so unique, detailed, and expressive. And so gorgeously colored... Not plain, white, and glowing like hers.
He presented the container to her with both hands. Taking it and opening it, she was speechless for the second time in as many minutes. Then flattered. Then angry. Then flattered again. "Xemna? Louza? Kheelie? Tubes of Turian wine? And Turian chocalate? And... And ta'cartm te? John, how, why... How did you get tubes of this stuff?"
"I, well, I ordered it," He stated plainly.
"No, John," her consternation overcoming her nervousness, "I mean how in the Fleet did you order this? I don't think your sister would authorize the funds. And your ADCON unit certainly wouldn't do it." She picked one tube up and examined it closely. "These don't even have Alliance stock numbers on them... Come to think of it, I can't imagine foods of this quality would ever be given ASNs. Just where did you get-"
"So they're good quality?" She would keep going like this if he didn't cut her off. "I'm glad. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to tell the difference when I ordered them from this Turian store I found on the extranet."
Her tilted head combined with the glare she gave him was priceless. And cute. Had she not been so concerned with wasting his money, he was sure he'd end up dodging that tube of whatever it was she was holding. Speaking of which...
"So, Tali, after what we talked about the other day I decided to get the 'Carnivore's Delight' gift pack, prepared Quarian-style, but I have no idea what's in those tubes or how to read them. I was hoping you could explain them to me over dinner tonight."
"Wait, what?" Something in her brain just broke. That must be the case. Instead of their implied agreement to sit together for meals whenever possible, she thought he had just implicitly asked her to dinner. Courting was not a concept she was too familiar with, even when it came to the sparing Quarian version of dating, but she had been reading up on human dating customs. Just maybe... She replayed his words in her head for a few moments. I'm definitely being 'asked out' as the Humans would say. Ok. Let's keep it together here, girl. One word. That's all I need to say. Here goes.
"Ahhh... Errr... Ah." I suck. And now I'm twiddling my fingers again. Great. Just great. One more try.
"Sh-Sure," Tali finally managed. Ancestors, I'm awesome!
"Fantastic. I'll see you later. Chow is 1830 tonight, don't be late," replied Shepard with a half smile and a wink.
That big, handsome bosh'tet. She could take a Geth trooper in hand to hand combat, shoot a Cerberus operative between the eyes at six hundred meters, and clear a room full of hostile mercs with nothing more than a shotgun and a hidden smile. But whenever he puts her on the spot for any reason, she melts into a puddle of stupid. Why does he do this to her?
Did he really ask her out? Maybe he just wanted someone from his ground team to talk to tonight while he ate. They were the only ones he was close to on the ship. Well, them and Jane. But John wasn't that kind of person, and he and Tali had spent a lot of time together since they first met. She had always figured that he had liked her, but not the way she liked him. Ancestors, there was no possible way a human could like her like that.
But he had saved her life on numerous occasions, given her the very classified data that would make for one of the greatest pilgrimage gifts ever, trusted her to fix his father's ancient pocket watch, defended her in front any damn det kazuat racists that they came across, and he looked out for her on every mission they went on. And now bought this gift of exquisite sterilized dextro meals for her with his own money. If he were Quarian his intentions couldn't get any clearer if he'd been using the ship's signal lights. So maybe it's about damned time he did ask me out.
...
More names. More responses. Adams, Lowe... Why had Tali been brought out of these sweet day dreams? She wanted to go back there. Go back to those fantasies where she and John were together. She wanted to climb back inside her own head where she could look forward to some alternate reality that could never be. But no, not at this moment, she realized. There would be a lifetime of daydreaming later. The last name was coming up. His name.
"Lieutenant Commander Shepard," The Command Sergeant Major intoned.
Silence. Tali could only hear the wind as it gently rustled her realk. She clenched her fists tight at her sides and hung her head.
"Lieutenant Commander John Shepard," The grizzled veteran spoke louder, firmer this time.
More silence. Tali's heart wrenched. Her throat closed up. Moisture blurred her vision.
"Lieutenant Commander John Alan Shepard" The human was even louder, a stern edge to his voice. It was as if he was genuinely mad that John was out of formation for his own memorial service.
Tali's body was racked with sobs now, her shoulders heaved up with each inhalation and collapsed with each exhale. Her breaths were mostly quick and shallow, interspersed with deep, heaving breaths. Tears were streaming from her eyes. He knees were weak, shaking, and on the verge of giving out.
There were several seconds of silence after hearing John's full name. She waited every one of those seconds for John to answer. Tali hoped, prayed to every Ancestor she had or will ever have for it to all be some big mistake. She wanted him to come running up to that formation sporting cocky grin, saying 'Hey guys, what'd I miss?' Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen seconds, just give him a few more, ancestors please, please a few more seconds...
But no, the Command Sergeant Major finished, "Lieutenant Commander John Alan Shepard is our fallen Soldier."
"Ready, aim, fire," another human commanded.
Ancient weapons fired with a deafening report, followed by the sound of the weapons' actions being manually cycled.
"Ready, aim, fire," he said again.
Again the weapons fired and cycled.
"Ready, aim, fire," he said for the third time.
The weapons thundered for the last time, echoing across the hills of Earth.
Tali heard none of this. As soon as she had heard the words 'fallen soldier,' and while still standing at the position of attention, she turned off her vocalizer and began screaming.
Review the heck out of this, ladies and gentlemen. This is my first fic, and I need the input. I'll absolutely consider any ideas for where this is all going. So show this story some love and there will be plenty more where this comes from.