(a lot of) Notes: omg destiel wow this is new to me.
Okay, so, somehow or another this idea was planted into my brain and literally wouldn't let me sleep. It was supposed to be short and funny and turned out to be...this. I put this under "Romance/Drama" because I really didn't know anything else that fit. Although, don't worry. This isn't really dramatic. It's fluffy drama. I don't know how to not write fluff.

So, enjoy!

It's not like Sam enjoyed getting in the middle of whatever it was his brother and Castiel have going on, he just always seemed to be pushed there.

If it were all up to him, he'd step back, make an occasional comment, and watch as they run around trying to figure out their feelings.

Castiel still wasn't very good at understanding human emotion. Which was okay, because neither was Dean.

Sam simply showed up to the "we're gay for each other, but we're in some really serious denial about it" show, and now he can't escape it. He's stuck in the middle of Dean and Cas and so far, he hasn't even seen an exit.

He knows he should be less surprised when Cas approaches him one day while he's researching their next case at Bobby's alone, and says he needs help with something important, concerning Dean. Specifically his and Dean's relationship.

Sam was worried for a second before he heard the relationship part. Then, he knew exactly what this was about. Dean and Castiel's relationship was a confusing one. Dean acted like he was annoyed with Cas half the time, and Cas mostly seemed emotionless, which even Sam could tell he wasn't. And Sam always noticed that when Castiel had his more emotional times, it was usually to do with Dean.
"What's up, Cas?" he smiles, and looks up at Cas from where he's sitting, in front of his laptop.

Cas sighs and fidgets with his hands, which is something new, Sam notices. "It is to my understanding that when you're in love with someone, you can't just tell them."

Sam blinks, he's a little taken back by the words. He wasn't expecting Cas to jump right in with love. "Are you in love with Dean?" he asks, slowly.

"I believe so. If I'm right about how love feels." he nods, and Sam wonders when Castiel started blushing. He was unaware he even could do that. There was a pause as Sam attempted to think of something to say that would be at all helpful or would at least kill the bit of awkwardness that was hanging in the air. However, before he thought of anything, Cas spoke again. "How does it feel exactly?"

"Well, uhm…I guess it depends on the type of love." Sam closes his laptop; knowing explaining these kinds of emotions to Cas could take a while. "How does Dean make you feel?" and now Sam can't believe he's saying that.

"Indescribable." Cas says, confidently.

"Okay…" Sam says slowly, "Is there any other way you can describe it?"

"Possibly." He tilts his head, and Sam can tell he's going through all the adjectives he's ever heard, in more languages than Sam can think of. "But, how do I tell him? I'd just say it, but according to what I've seen on television and the movies I watched for help, it isn't that easy."

"Movies?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow. He really hopes Cas wasn't taking notes from porn on how to woo his brother. "Like with the pizza man?"

"No, I did not turn to pornography for this particular problem." he replied, flatly, putting his hands into the pockets of his trench coat. "I watched romantic comedies. Dean seems to enjoy humor. I thought that'd be a good place to start."

"Okay, well, I guess that's better than porn." Sam sighed. "So, why don't you just tell him how you feel?"

"Because," Cas looks away for a second, and he sounds annoyed, but not exactly at Sam. "Apparently, I should be worried about what he thinks, or about making our relationship…awkward."

"Oh," Sam starts, but as Dean sometimes complains, Castiel doesn't stop talking.

"Also, I'm still not sure how I feel. What it is, exactly. Or, I suppose, how to…show him my emotions." he spits out the last word like it's the name of someone who has done him wrong. "I thought it was simple, but now I'm not so sure. I do not wish to make him uncomfortable."

Sam at least understands how that feels and nods, "Have you thought about what you want to tell him?"

"I feel he should be aware of my feelings." He starts slowly, head tilted, eyes narrowed, his whole stance screaming confusion. "Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah, kinda." Sam blinks. He's explained many things to Cas, luckily this isn't the most awkward ("What did Dean mean by 'blow me'?"), but it's up there. "Just…tell me what you'd tell him, and I'll help you improve if you need it." Sam guessed Cas would need it. He wasn't exactly sure if Cas exactly knew what to do, or say, and so Sam figures he'll need a few pointers.

Cas nods, and just stands there looking at Sam for a moment. "What do I do?" he asks, finally.

Sam really can't believe he's going to say this, "Pretend I'm Dean. Just say what you want to tell him."

"Okay," he takes a breath and looks at Sam and Sam can practically hear him thinking, "I'd like to tell him that I'm…that I have very strong feelings for him."

"Alright, so say it like you're talking to him. You know, practice."

"I feel ridiculous." Cas looks away again, and the annoyed edge is back in his voice

"its okay, when you talk to Dean you might feel a little ridiculous, nervous even."

"Fine," Cas sighs, and it's a couple seconds before he speaks again, but eventually he mumbles out an "I think that I'm in love with you,"

Sam smirks a little, he wishes he could be there when Cas finally tells this to Dean. He's had to go through years of Dean and Castiel's sexual tension, heart eyes, longing glances. So, Sam is really excited to get that over with. "You what?" He raises his eyebrows, he's not even fully playing the part, Cas was just talking awfully low.

"I have feelings for you, strong feelings." Cas shifts and looks at his shoes, awkwardly.
"I think they started the moment when we met, but they've taken time to really surface into something I can grasp. And, now, I'm fairly sure these feelings that I feel, are something romantic." he relaxes a little, closing his eyes. He's trying to clear Sam out of his mind, and replace him with Dean. It isn't very hard for Cas to picture Dean's face.
"You're the only reason I think I know what love is." he sighs, continuing. "I'm fond of other people, but, they don't compare to the way you make me feel. It's…it's indescribable. But, if I did have to describe it, it would take a thousand years." he looks up, at Sam, with a look that Sam can only call "realization". Although, Sam feels like Cas is just looking at him and not really seeing him, because Cas' eyes are unfocused and he looks like he's been told something absolutely insane.
"But, I think if I spent those thousand years with you, it'd only feel like five minutes. When I am with you, everything feels nicer, easier, and lighter. -And, now I think I know how love feels…because of you."

Sam is shocked, because that is not exactly what he expected to come out of Castiel's mouth. Sam didn't exactly know Castiel was able to spill out his heart like that. Shocked, and also impressed.
Sam took a breath. "Wow, Cas. That's…" he looked at Castiel, and blinked. "Is that really how you feel?"

Cas nodded. "It's the only way I can explain it. -Is it acceptable?"

"More than acceptable." Sam answered.

"Good. Thank you for your help Sam."

"Yeah, no pro-" and Cas was gone. Probably, -hopefully- off to find Dean and tell him just what he told Sam.

Sam shook his head and opened his laptop, finally laughing a little, because, damn his life was weird.

When Castiel is finally with Dean, twenty minutes after leaving Sam at Bobby's, in the middle of a parking lot to a bar a few miles away, he's smiling, and usually Dean smiles back, but he isn't right now, and that makes something in Cas' stomach drop. "Dean," he starts, and it's normal on his end, save for the smile, but Dean just looks at him and Cas is pretty sure he's intoxicated. Though, he doesn't look happy at all. "What's wrong?" Castiel asks, worriedly.

Dean clenches his jaw and looks away from him, "Look, Cas, whatever it is you want to tell me, don't. I really am not in the mood for any of this right now. Okay?"

"Dean?"

"Would you stop saying my fucking name so much? Dammit, Cas." Dean starts to walk off, but then turns around to look at him, and when he sees the wetness in Dean's eyes threatening to spill over, he knows he'd better not talk to Dean about feelings tonight.

"What is wrong with me saying your name?" He questions, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"Absolutely nothing." Dean says, and the words come out harsh. "But, I can't deal with this," he gestures between he and Cas, "…right now. Just, leave me alone."

"Dean, I-"

"Alone, Cas." Dean snaps. "If you need to talk to someone go fucking talk to Sam, I'm sure you'd both love to get all touchy feely or whatever fucking weird shit you're into."

Castiel tilts his head, and Dean squeezes his eyes close a tight as he can.

"Leave me the hell alone for a while, will you?"

Cas nods, and watches Dean walk back into the bar.
Even he notices the irony in the situation. He learns what love feels like, just in time to feel heartbreak as well.

That night, when Dean finally gets back to Bobby's, he's wasted, and it's late. Like, really late. Sam wakes up, to see Dean crash into the bed across from Sam's.

"Hey," Sam says, gruffly, only to be ignored. "Did you talk to Cas?"

"Shut up, Sam." Is Dean's bitter reply.

Sam figures Dean's just exhausted for reasons Sam would rather not think about, and he's possibly embarrassed, so he lets it go.

But then, the next week is nothing but Dean being angry for something that Sam just does not know, and he hasn't seen Castiel since they talked.

Sam tries to get Dean to talk, but Dean isn't having it and only talks to Sam about the current case.

Then, Sam tries to pray to Cas, and is only met with silence.

Whatever happened between his brother and Castiel must have been messy. If Dean simply didn't reciprocate Cas' feelings, the angel would still come around. But, Sam knows Dean has the same feelings for Cas as Cas does for him. So, he's unsure why they're both so quite, or why Dean is so damn hateful and upset, but he's starting to worry.

So, he braves it. As he and Dean are in the car, of all places, Sam brings it up. "What happened with you and Cas, man?" Sam asks, looking at his brother.

Dean sighs, and doesn't look back. Sam can tell he's ignoring the question.

"I know something's going on." he says, not backing off yet. "I thought you'd be happy."

"Happy?" Dean repeats loudly, as he pulls into the same parking spot he'd left in when they arrive back to the motel. He sighs again, appearing to cool down. "Sure, Sam. Of course." He gets out of the car. "I'm happy, really. But, I just don't want to talk about it."

Sam furrows his brow and follows Dean. "Why not? I mean, it's a good thing, right?"

"Sure." Dean just starts walking in the direction of their room. "I didn't exactly see it coming, but-"

"How?" Sam almost laughs. "Dude, the looks…the way he acts, I couldn't see it going any other way."

"Right."

"Look, I know you don't like discussing feelings, but I've been waiting for this pretty much since he brought you back from hell,"

"I didn't even know you felt that way!" Dean finally turns around. "I knew you guys were like, friends or something, but…why didn't you tell me you felt that way?"

"What?" Sam blinks.

"Nothing, never mind. I just…I want to go to bed." Dean walks away.

"It's only eight." Sam mutters as he tries to catch up to his brother.

Sam puts up with the silence and PMS for a couple more days before he practically snaps.

He doesn't mean to, but when he mentions Cas to Dean and Dean rolls his eyes, Sam can't keep wondering what happened and just deal with Dean as is.

"What the hell, Dean?" Sam throws his hands up, and looks at Dean with his eyebrows raised.

"What?" Dean grumbles, not taking his eyes off the road ahead.

"You! You and Cas! What the hell happened?" Sam wishes Dean would pull over or something, but instead he doesn't say anything and waits impatiently for them to get back to the motel Dean may have pointed out earlier. Sam wasn't sure what he said exactly since he had said it so low, and sort of monotone.

That was Dean's newest thing. He wasn't always snippy and hateful, sometimes he sounded bored, or depressed. This was worse, to Sam at least. He knew all the workings of an angry Dean. But, a sad one…? He'd have to figure that out.

"Nothing happened, Sam." Dean sighed.

"Then how come every time I even say his name, you look like you're going to kill someone or like someone has just stabbed you?" Sam doesn't look at Dean anymore, and just stares out the windshield.

Dean takes a minute to answer, "I don't. I'm fine."

"Fine? This is not fine at all, Dean! You've been distant, you've been mean, and you seem sad. Dean, I don't know if he told you what he told me, but-" Sam stops, and notices they're at the motel, and now Dean is storming out of the car.

"He didn't have to tell me, Sam. I already knew what he was going to say." Dean almost yells as he starts walking away, however he stops and turns around sharply. "I overheard you guys at Bobby's."

"So, you heard what he told me?" Sam blinks, "You know how he feels?"

"Yeah, I get it, Sammy. The angel is in love with you. Awesome."

Sam stops, totally stops everything and gives Dean a look of confusion that could challenge Castiel's. "With me?"

"I heard him, okay? And, it totally wasn't eavesdropping, it was just overhearing…kind of secretly. But, I was about to walk in when..." he shrugs and continues. "But, I know. And, I'm happy if you're happy and all that shit, but…"

"You're the biggest fucking idiot I've ever met, Dean." Sam doesn't know if he should laugh or yell at Dean he goes with a chuckle, and a look that purely says "I'm judging you because you are the stupidest brother anyone could ever have."

"What? I am not." Dean pauses, and Sam learns how much he enjoys insulting his brother when Dean lamely finishes with a "you're an idiot." because that's the first time he's been even close to the Dean that Sam is used to in almost three weeks.

"Castiel isn't in love with me." Sam full out laughs now, "How could you even think that?"

"I heard him say…would you stop laughing, Sam? This is so not funny."

"Sorry," Sam coughs a little, and god he's never felt so relived. Here he's been worried that Dean and Cas were fighting, or broke up before they started and apparently the only problem was his brother's stupidity. "Dean, I was trying to give Cas advice. He needed help with expressing his feelings."

"What the hell are you talking about, Sam?"

Sam gives up and sure, Cas should be the one to tell Dean, but given the terms here, Sam has to take over a little. "Dude, Cas is in love with you. Not me. You."

"Excuse me?" Dean raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, Sam but…what?"

"Castiel is in love with you. Not me, you idiot. You. You've been so busy being an ass that you might have missed it." Sam says that, but he's smiling. Because, dammit he's glad his brother is just the world's biggest idiot and not in the middle of a divorce with an angel.

"He…are you serious?" Dean asks, putting his hands on his hips and looking at Sam like Sam is just insane.

"Just go talk to him," Sam sighs.

"I've tried a couple times," Dean's quiet again, looking at his shoes. "He won't answer me."

"Well, he wouldn't talk to me either, but, I think if you try hard enough, maybe he'll come through." Sam starts walking again, leaving Dean to go get his angel and stop being such a dumbass.

"Hey, uhh, Cas?" Dean starts, lamely about twenty minutes after Sam leaves him alone. Dean wishes he would've followed him now. He could be in bed, watching TV and not trying to call Cas down, really pathetically. "Look, man, I'm going I just say it, the three words I know you want to hear from me right now; I'm an idiot."

He waits a second, and…nothing.

"Not the right ones? How about; I was wrong? Or; I fucking suck?" -still nothing. Dean leans against the hood of his car and looks around the dark parking lot, no one in sight. Just him and various cars. "Come on, Cas. I need to talk to you. And, I…I need you here. Please? Pretty please?"

Now, he's getting desperate. All he can figure to do now is force the conversation. "Look, I jumped to the wrong conclusion. When I heard you tell Sam all that girly, warm and fuzzy shit…I thought you meant it for him, and that…that drove me nuts, Cas. I guess I had always hoped one day you'd come and say somethin' like that to me, which yeah, sounds gay. But, whatever. I ought to get used to that, huh?"

Dean looks around again, half of him is glad he's totally alone, or someone would probably call the cops about the crazy man talking alone in the motel parking lot. "So, I thought you were in love with Sam. Ridiculous, right? I mean, the guy is like awkwardly tall and basically has a permanent stick up his ass. -Although, I should have questioned his sexuality more than I did. I just figured all those hair products…I should have seen it coming. I'm still unsure about that part of all of this. But, anyway…jealousy is a green-eyed monster I can't use salt against, I guess."

He straightens up, "Would you just come down here so I can talk to you? It's been weeks since I've seen you, and I was an ass last time I did. A drunk ass, but an ass all the same. And, I'm…look, Cas, I'm sorry. Really. Okay? I should've let you talk in the first place, and not jump to jealousy and anger. Just, please. Please come here, Cas?"

He turns around, hopefully and is met with total nothingness. Again. Awesome.
"Fine, okay. Fine! I was just going to apologize some more, make a joke or twelve because it's what I do when I'm uncomfortable, maybe kiss you and tell you that I…" he trails off, and it hits him hard. He's thought about it, he's felt it, but now that it almost slipped out of his mouth, it really hits him. So hard he physically feels weaker for a moment, and slumps back onto his car. "That I love you," he finishes slowly, and the words feel weird when they leave his mouth, and they're so…new. He's not sure he ever wants to say them again, but Castiel needed to hear them, so he let them fall.

"-But fine. You know, I'll just go and-"

"Dean?"

Dean turns back around so quickly he almost gets dizzy, and when he does, he's met with the most wonderful sight he's ever seen, "Cas." he breathes out, and will deny the tears until the day he dies, and then some. "Hey, Cas." a smile slowly makes its way onto his face, and there's silence for a second while Dean tries to figure out what to do, but Cas helps him along.

"I was wondering if you would act on the last two things you had mentioned."

Dean thinks back a second, and his smile widens. "Oh, absolutely." he takes the last four steps between them and practically crashes his lips to Castiel's. It's not everything he was guessing it'd be, solely because it's more. The kiss is slow and Dean's okay with that. He moves his hands from Cas' face to wrap his arms around the angel, and pulls him close and feels Cas experimentally kiss back, with his arms around Dean's neck.

But, Dean then stops to go through with his second promise. He pulls away only enough to rest his forehead on Castiel's. "I…love you." he closes his eyes, and feels the heat in his cheeks; he still doesn't like letting the words out.

Cas leans up and kisses him softly and quickly. "I love you as well, Dean."

"Sorry I'm a douche bag." Dean mutters. He looks at Cas again.

"That's alright." Cas smiles and Dean is glad he opened his eyes in time to see it. Because it's the most beautiful fucking thing he's ever seen.

Dean smiles back, because he's basically got no other choice. When an angel as nerdy, infuriating, confusing and beautiful as Castiel gives you a rare smile, you smile back. It's impossible not to do so. "Did you mean all that girly junk you said?"

"Yes," Castiel says quickly, like he doesn't even have to think about, probably because he doesn't. He's still wearing the last traces of a smile while simply running his hands down Dean's arms, not quite looking at him. "I still do."

"Even if I'm an idiot?" Dean smirks and catches Cas' gaze.

Cas nods and pulls Dean closer to him and kisses him again. "I don't think you're an idiot."