Hello m'dears! Here's a new story for y'all!

For the most part, chapter one is just useless information about the main character.

Just so you know, this is centered around the Hetalia units idea, which is not mine, neither is Hetalia. In fact, I don't own a single darn thing. At all. :(

Chapter 1: I'm an engineer, what's your excuse?

Hey there guys! My name's Mary Kirkpatrick, and I want to tell y'all about one of the most hectic, ridiculous, freakish months of my life. First, though I want to tell you guys a little about yours truly. I live with three gorgeous men, other beautiful women and an extra wheel. The men are all delicious Germans with- Oh gosh I'm sorry! *bursts into fit of giggles, losing straight face* Okay. I'm sorry about that. Here's the truth: I live in a historic plantation house in Oklahoma, and those five people I live with? Those are my dogs. Oh, and the cat. He's that extra wheel. I have three German shepherds, (my little men) a Siberian husky, and a yellow lab. And the fat cat. My shepherds are Ivory, Diablo, and Kenobi. Ivory is completely black, (irony) and I named Kenobi after you know who because the gold-ish fur on his face and neck, looks a lot like Obi-wan's hair, and of course, Diablo's facial pattern makes it look like he has horns on his forehead. Malaiya, my husky, is the exact opposite of Ivory, all white. Lastly (but not leastly) my lab Misty. And Garfield looks like Garfield, so yeah. Fortunately all my babies get along with each other, but Misty and Garfield seem happier with the other, and the others stayed together.

I only recently, like three-ish weeks ago recently, moved into this house. Having to live with my mom through college after I got discharged from the military, this was the first house I had ever owned. Technically it wasn't mine, it belonged to the government and I was just baby-sitting basically, but whatever. I had so much on my plate for four straight years, I didn't really have any other choice but to stay with my mummsy. But, beautiful success finally! On graduation day I jumped up and downing screaming my head off like a little kid. I finished with a total of (including Dual Credit classes I took in high school) an Associate's in Mechanics, and a Master's in Engineering and the Fine Arts. (I know right?) I don't think I was ever more proud of myself.

Now, since I'm such a wonderfully smart person, I work for a branch of Boeing in Tulsa and I recently made a break-through in aerodynamics, sitting pretty. But... at the end of the day, I still go to bed with my dogs. Some days this really upsets me, others I can't be happier. Though in the long run it made me sad. I've only had my job for a few months, but I still wasn't dating anyone. I had made a few friends in the office that I went out for drinks or dinner with occasionally, but no boyfriend. I lived about an hour away from Tulsa, in a small town. Well not really, I lived outside city limits (thank God) which may have contributed too.

Well that's that. Right now I was out on my large back porch with my hairballs. Dialbo, Malaiya, and Kenobi were rough-housing and trying eat fireflies while Misty and Ivory dozed on the far end of the platform dozing together. With a glass of iced tea, my favorite electric guitar, and an amp both hooked up to an extension cord, I gave the Oklahoma sunset a little musical accompaniment. For good measure I grabbed my pedal too. I was set for the next hour. For a little while I kept trying lots of combinations of licks and riffs in different keys to create a little tune, but I kept ending up with something that sounded like a Metallica and gave up experimenting. The mosquitoes were beginning to eat me alive by now, so I had to call the pooches in and gather my stuff. Running my fingers though my hair absentmindedly, I sighed in frustration that it was still wet from the shower I had taken earlier.

"Crap!" I tripped over a box in the dark hallway, almost dropping my equipment. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for something to fall or a telltale tinkle of broken glass. Nothing happened so I sighed in relief, setting my things with my other music equipment. Flicking off a few lights, I departed the first floor, climbing the staircase, doggies in tow. Seeking the time, I noted it was only 8:30, so I went to do a little internet browsing. I checked my DeviantArt, Instagram, and IcanHazCheezburger. Nada. Nothing else better to do, I checked the main Funimation forum page,hoping for some announcement about a season two for Claymore or Ouran High School Host Club, but no such luck. A new entry popped up, with an interesting label. Why the heck not? I clicked on it and began to read the article.

~up today! Get your own real-life Hetalia country today! These amazing machines~

The page went on and on bout the genius of these things and how useful and cool and rare, yadda yadda yadda... I'm a pretty big Hetalia fangirl and found this supercool. But I'm the kind of person that if it isn't the 100% real, authentic thing, I ain't completely happy. Like I don't like going to see the Marvel movies because it's not the real X-Men. Ya see what I mean? Still, the opportunity to take these things apart and get a good look at their insides... Sorry, that sounded sadistic didn't it?

But you get my point. I really wanted to see their internal programming. As an engineer, this technology had so much potential to shove progress forward with an umph. And I really wanted a Hetalia automaton. Maybe just one... I scrolled to the bottom of the page, looking for the price. Ohmygawsh! The ad read Free to first 5000 subscribers! The forum page had only been up for four minutes and there was already more then a thousand participants. Can't waist time, Robin, to the Bat Mobile! Quickly, I subscribed to the forum and a window popped up:

Choose desired units:

_ Feliciano Vargas (Italy)

_ Ludwig Beilschmidt (Germany)

_ Kiku Honda (Japan)

_ Arthur Kirkland (Britain/England)

_ Aflred F. Jones (America)

_ Wang Yao (China)

_ Ivan Braginsky (Russia)

_ Matthew Williams (Canada)

_ Antonio Carriedo (Spain)

_ Lovino Vargas (Romano)

_ Gilbert Beilschimdt (Prussia)...

The list contained all of the official Hetalia characters like Poland, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and all the others. I just picked the original eight Allies and the Axis countries. And Prussia. I would probably regret that one, but I wanted a Prussia. The pop-up closed momentarily, then another came up saying I had been approved and statement about how I would receive a zipped folder containing user guidelines. Truthful to their word, I received the file in an email a few minutes later. I downloaded the thing and read it in bed. I hysterically giggled through the entire thing, and the dogs kept giving me disapproving looks. If these things were really as incredible as claimed, then maybe I'd have a little fun with Germany first... Just kidding. That was a joke, I promise.

My fangirl senses tingled as I put my laptop up and settled back into bed with my fuzzy babies. (Yeah I know, One human and five dogs?) Diablo and Malaiya were curled up on the mattress of my king-size authentic half-Teister, while the other three shed on the rug.

I was supposed to expect my 'units' in a few days, but I live in the middle of nowhere so it would probably end up being a couple of weeks before I got my shipment. Squealed quietly, I accidently made my little devil raise his head, giving me a queer look. But really, I didn't have a lot of faith that these robots would live up to expectations. It was one of those 'to good to be true' things. If they tried to download an entire personality and unique responses into a machine with successful outcomes, the price for said technology would be astronomical, and they certainly wouldn't be giving these things out in such large quantities. Needless to say I was rather doubtful. The most I expected was bobble-heads or action figures with prerecorded responses or actions, and were three inches tall. In that case, they'd be cute little collectibles I could put with all my other nerdy paraphernalia.

I lost myself in my work the rest of the week, and ended up taking it home with me Friday evening to put it in my luxurious study. Late Saturday afternoon, the UPS man pulled up to my house and I was rather surprised when he turned around and backed up to my front porch. He disembarked his vehicle, opened the back and sliding out a ramp. There was nothing I could really do but watch anxiously as he wheeled in large, oblong crates into my foyer. Oh dear. I counted and recounted. Nine. It looked as if the forum may not have been lying after all... But still, no need to worry much. There was still a large margin for error. I thanked the delivery man heartily, and gave him an obscene tip which he happily accepted.

I sighed, looking at the crates. Geez. I let the dogs out after the man left, and they came out to investigate the strange objects. They began to whine or growl, pawing at the crates. I hissed at them, and they obeyed, leaving the boxes. I can always activate these things later... if I even did that. Curiosity was gnawing on me, but it could wait. The dormant automatons would still be there when I returned. I needed a shower to much. I took the dogs with me up to my room so they wouldn't bother the crates while I was bathing, and turned up some music.

My iPod shuffled itself, producing an Avenged Sevenfold song played. Satisfied, I stripped and took a very nice shower. I sang along with the music as I washed; I usually always did this when I had the leisure to. It was a Saturday so I'd say that's enough leisure for me. The water began to get cold, so I turned it off, getting out to dry and get dressed. Now all squeaky clean I pulled on a pair of Soffee's and a Deadpool t-shirt.

Whoa! I never give in!

Whoa! I never give up!

Whoa! I never give in!

I jus' wanna be wanna be-

A dog whined on the other side of the door as I wash brushing out my blue hair. I need to get my roots touched up... "Hang on babies!" I called to my beloved pooches, pulling my hair up into a bun. When I opened the barrier separating us, I was bombarded by hairballs yipping and fidgeting in anxiety. I rolled my eyes at them, flipping off the small yet powerful stereo. When I reached the bedroom door the canines upped their efforts at release, nails clacking on the hardwood floor.

"Sheesh, do y'all all have to pee?" I muttered an attempt at humor, but now cautious because they didn't act like this unless something was wrong. I professionally trained my dogs and they knew better than to act like this if they needed out. When the door opened I was nearly trampled by the troupe of distressed pooches. I was about to go after them, to silence their antics if they were needless, but they had already sprinted their way down the stairs, snarling and barking. I knew the guttural the triplets were making (I had specifically taught the shepherds since pups to behave the way intelligent dogs are supposed to behave) I knew there was a real issue. It got really vicious and not thinking, I ran to the banister unarmed to see what the problem was. Below my babies were ganged up on one, two, three... nine men, holding them back. They were shouting at each other and the dogs as their assailants closed in.

Oh dear Jesus, time out had made me soft. Freaking intruders in my house! I made a dash for the nearest firearm, which was in the hall closet next to me. Instinct kicking in, I loaded the 12-gauge in record time and grabbed an extra box of shells.

*A/N: R&R or Russia will beat you with his drainpipe!