See also: Correspondence between Hetalians (humor as well, and probably funnier than this, the later parts, at least). Reviews receive unimaginable amounts of appreciation.
"Alright, guys! Today we're going to discuss our attack plan since the last meeting ended in complete chaos and we didn't get anything done! Since you didn't like my other genius plan, I've come up with another one I think is strategically superior to the first one!" America announced, "France gives up because he's useless!"
"What?" Exclaimed France.
"Britain charges Germany with his fleet of fancy wooden boxes!"
"Excuse me?"
"China distracts Japan by letting himself get beat up!"
"You ass! Don't underestimate -!"
"Russia provides all his soldiers to walk through mine fields!"
"But I already do that at home," said Russia, mildly confused.
"Canada scares Germany and Italy out of their minds by pretending to be a ghost!"
"Don't just take advantage of my semi-transparency!" Shouted Canada, though no one noticed him.
"And I'll be the hero!" Declared America, pounding his fist on the table.
"That's your worst plan yet!" Yelled England, "It's even worse than the last one!"
"Why is it that you're always the first one to complain? Do you still have a grudge or something?" Complained America, annoyed.
"No, not really," replied England, "it's just that I'd think even a mentally challenged idiot like yourself could come up with an even vaguely sensible plan, but, no, I guess I was wrong. I still marvel at the fact that you won even a battle in that Revolution of yours."
"Hey!"
"Oh yes, I forgot, it was your superior who made all the important decisions, not you, silly me."
"Hey! But at least I won! Weak!" Then he laughed for some reason.
"Weak?" Shouted England, grabbing America's shirt collar, "Don't forget that I did win the Opium War!"
"You bastard! Stop bringing that up!" shrieked China, lashing out at England with his wok.
France watched the three with some distaste, "Oh, stop this uncivilized squabbling, you're going to ruin the perfume I sprayed in here!"
England suddenly turned on France, "And there was all those times I beat you, too!"
"Excusez-moi? Don't forget that I did win the Hundred Years' War!" retorted France.
"What about the Napoleonic Wars, the Seven Years' War..." he started counting off his fingers.
"Oh, shut up!" snapped France.
"And there was the Crimean War!" England shouted triumphantly, pointing to Russia. Then he went back to beating America up with something that looked suspiciously like Busby's chair.
"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..."
"Ow! Hey! Why are you even here?" Demanded America, "You've fought more wars with the four of us than everyone else put together!"
"Just because I hate you doesn't mean I like that damn Germany and his friend the pasta idiot any more than you do!" The two started fighting again.
"Mon dieu! Only I get to beat up the hoodlum!" said France, joining the fight.
China, still seething about the Opium War, kept on trying to knock England's brains out with the wok, "Aiyah! Qù sǐ ba, báichī!
"Another friendly Allied summit," said Russia, watching the huge dust cloud form.
I really don't know what I was doing, to tell you the truth. This started out as a script and I just turned it into an extremely short story.
"Hierarchy of Hetalian Weapons
Fists beat white flag.
Gun beats fists.
Sword beats gun.
Wok beats sword.
Funny green glowing thing on someone's head beats all."
"Er, Italy, I thought I told you to spy on the Allies, not write this."
"Ah, Germany! Just ignore it!"
Another random thing. Reviews, please!