So...I have absolutely no idea where this came from. I was saving something else and came across a file called "Zombie Fic". I...I don't know, guys, but here's the first chapter in all it's awkward glory. Now it's time for disclaimers. I do not own Welcome to Hell. That honor belongs to Erica Wester. So...I hope you all enjoy!
Having a suicide spirit living with you was handy when the zombie apocalypse was nigh.
Two weeks ago, the dead had suddenly begun to stand up and walk around. There had been no preceding events, no release of a secret virus created by the government. One day, all was well, and the next, corpses were shuffling down the street.
Having a suicide spirit as a lover and a roommate also came in handy when you were wondering about the logistics of the zombie apocalypse. Though Sock didn't know why there were zombies bumbling their way down roads and through alleyways, he could explain their behavior.
"Despite what the movies and books say, zombies are nothing more than corpses animated by necromancy. Since anyone who wants to could study and perform necromancy, it's always hard to pinpoint a cause when this happens."
"So, they're just puppets?" Jon asked, holding Sock in his lap.
The little ghost nodded. "Pretty much, yeah. Since you can't create a new soul for someone and necromancy can only animate so many bodily functions, the zombies can only focus on their primal urges when they aren't being commanded by the necromancer."
"But they don't have a properly functioning brain. If they did, they wouldn't shuffle around or ignore the fact that they have a broken ankle."
"You've hit the nail on the head." Sock smiled, kissing the tip of Jon's nose. "Like I said, necromancy can only do so much. So, zombies only know how to do one thing independently: provide their bodies with nourishment."
"That explains their need to eat, but why do they only eat living creatures?"
"Necromancy is demonic in nature. Zombies, therefore, aren't holy creatures. Rather, they're a by-product of a deal with the demon Carnage."
"So, this isn't necessarily the government fucking up again? Some bozo made a deal with a demon and now there are dead bodies everywhere."
Sock frowned slightly, pale brow furrowing. "See, that's why I'm so confused. Even though necromancy is supposed to be the only way zombies can be brought into existence, no necromancer would be able to do it on such a large scale or cause it to spread like a virus."
Jonathan was more than a little confused now. "So…what's your theory exactly?"
"My theory is that a secret government virus may be playing a larger role than I originally thought. Like I said, necromancers are only able to do so much and that includes the size of the hordes they are able to create. It takes a great deal of energy to create a couple of zombies and the only thing the zombies would be capable of was focusing on feeding. Even if someone did get bitten and got away, they wouldn't turn into a zombie themselves. The part of their body that was bitten would turn into rotting flesh and that would certainly be painful, but there would be no transfer of a virus. There's something else, too…"
Jon pulled his little spirit closer, doing his best to ignore the scratching and moaning of the undead outside. "And what would that be?"
"If it was just necromancy, Mephistopheles would have cleaned up the mess by now. It wouldn't have gotten this bad. That means there's something else at work, something that Mephistopheles hasn't figured out yet."
Jonathan frowned. He hadn't expected Sock to say that of all things, but he supposed that made sense. After all, Mephistopheles had partial control over the dead, or at least, those who were damned.
"But what about the Reaper?" Jonathan questioning, realizing that Sock hadn't mentioned the role of the second entitiy in context of the zombie apocalypse. "Wouldn't he have more control over the dead than Mephistopheles would?"
"Well, yes." Sock said cautiously, worried about how much this was affecting his lover. "But that's a lot of dead people to reap, right? And some of the zombies have already technically been reaped."
"So what?" Jonathan questioned, growing impatient when he saw the look of contemplation on the brown-haired boy's face. "Death hasn't taken care of zombies before?"
"I didn't say that." Sock said quietly, giving his boyfriend an irritated look. "But Death has the same problem that Mephistopheles does. It takes more energy than one would think to reap souls or keep an eye on them in Hell. The fact that some of the zombies have already been reaped is only part of the problem. Technically, a person can only be judged once before being sent to Heaven, Hell, or Limbo. So, the zombies that were raised from the dead have already been judged and reaped. I'm not sure how much the Reaper and Mephistopheles can actually do."
"You said the zombies who had already been reaped were only part of the problem. What's the other part?" Jon asked, a look of fear and worry appearing briefly in his gray eyes. Sock squeezed the mortal boy's hand, trying to reassure him.
"The other zombies, the ones who were not brought back from the dead, are the other half of the problem. They have technically died, and there is no way to cure them, but they also haven't died. The Reaper can only take souls that have left the body. Because zombies still have control over their bodies and a few basic urges, mainly hunger, there is still a small shred of their souls that hasn't departed from their bodies. Normally, when a necromancer pulls this bullshit, the Reaper can draw the souls from the zombies and then send them to Hell. But since there are so many zombies…." Sock didn't have to finish. Jon finally got it. There were problems that were too big for even millionia-old entities to deal with or eradicate…
"So what are we supposed to do? Wait it out?" Jonathan asked. Despite the impending doom that the zombie apocalypse presented, he was still a man of few words. That didn't mean he wasn't panicking on the inside, though, and Sock was more than aware of that.
"Well, I don't really want my boyfriend to get eaten by zombies…" Sock murmured, nuzzling into the blonde's neck. "If we can figure out a way to touch, I'm sure we can figure out a way to end the zombie apocalypse."
Jon smirked, looking like the sarcastic teenager he had been before the dead had started walking the earth. "Are you suggesting it's mystery twin time?" Mystery twin time was an inside joke between the two. Jon had shown the little spirit Gravity Falls, and Sock had immeidiatly fallen in love with Dipper and Mabel Pines. He liked to joke that he and Jon lived in a mysterious world too, and the inside joke had been created shortly after.
Sock smiled, but the troubled look didn't leave his eyes. "It's mystery twin time." He confirmed.
Jonathan pulled the little spirit close and kissed his forehead. He was still worried and more than a little freaked out and he suspected Sock felt the same. Honestly, the last thing Jonathan wanted to do was leave the safety of his boarded up home and attempt to end the zombie apocalypse, but he also didn't want to watch as his supplies were depleted while waiting for the undead to find a way in. Figuring out the mystery behind the zombie apocalypse seemed to be the only way to avoid a death that would be unpleasant either way. Sock cuddled close, as if he had sensed the other boy's thoughts.
"It's mystery twin time, babe." Sock murmured, speaking more to himself than he was to Jonathan.
It was time to start a war that may never end.
I hope you all enjoyed the chappie! As always, reviews, constructive criticism, and the like are always welcome, but flat-out negativity will not be tolerated. See you soon!
XOXOXOXO