Until She Was Ready
By: piperholmes
A/N: Just a piece of Rollisi fluff written for a friend to brighten her day. Originally posted on Tumblr. Special thanks to Of Jumbled Thoughts for your kind words and encouragement! From such a talented fellow Rollisi fic writer I appreciate it so much! This one is probably a little sappy, but sometimes a little sap is good ;)
Unbeta'd
Amanda Rollins didn't cry often. She didn't think crying was a sign of weakness, unless it came to herself. She couldn't help by judge her own tears, her own sadness.
She was vulnerable sometimes and she couldn't let the world know.
But tonight
Tonight she hadn't known what to do.
For the first time in a very long time she wanted to drink.
She knew she should call her sponsor, but she just didn't want to. She didn't know exactly what she wanted, she just didn't want to feel so sad anymore.
It was late.
Jesse asleep.
But echos of her mother's accusations still bombarded her.
She needed…
a friend.
She stared down at her phone, feeling nervous, anxious and a little happy at the thought of calling him.
She knew he would answer.
He always did. They'd spent plenty of nights talking, time together, always talking, but this felt different.
Somehow, she knew, if she made this call, it would be different.
And it scared her.
She pressed the phone icon before she thought about it any longer, his thick accent reaching her by the second ring.
"Hey."
It's how they greeted each other. All formality gone.
Just them.
The depth of comfort she felt at the sound of his voice surprised her, overwhelmed her.
"Hey" she answered back, her voice shaky, raspy.
He knew immediately something was wrong. She tried to tell him about her mother showing up, drunk, wanting to see the baby. She tried to explain to him how it ripped at her heart to refuse her crying mother. How hard it was to breath with the weight of her own guilt and resolve pressing on her chest.
But the words all caught in her throat, trying to choke her.
And just like that he was on his way, a gentle knock on her door, always mindful of the baby.
She suddenly felt embarrassed but it was too late and she opened the door.
He still wore his slacks from earlier in the day, but his jacket and tie were gone, his shirt unbuttoned at the top, clear signs he'd begun shedding the stress of the day.
"I'm sorry," she began. "I know it's late and I–"
Her words were cut off as his long arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her close. Somehow she wasn't surprised, and almost with relieved sigh she relaxed into his embrace.
She could smell him, his cologne or maybe just his detergent, but it was solidly Sonny. He was warm and tender, his words penetrating her mind. "Don't be sorry Amanda. I'm jus' sorry you gotta deal with this."
The sincerity in his voice, the acceptance, broke through her fears, the realization that he was there, that he had come for her, just to be there for her with no demands or expectations made her feel…
loved.
And for the first time in Amanda's life she didn't fight it, she cried for her mother, for her daughter, and for herself.
And through it all he just held her, his hug safe, his arms strong, his heart beating beneath her ear.
"Thank you," she finally whispered.
HIs hand came up and cupped her cheek, tilting her face up as he traced the track left from her tears with his thumb. He looked down, his eyes meeting hers, intent.
"Any time, Amanda, any time."
She nodded her appreciation, giving him a small sad smile before burying her face against his chest once more.
They stood together, no time, no world, no awkwardness, just them, and she knew he wouldn't let go until she was ready.
Thank you for reading!