A/N: Random story idea that came from a Twitch chat. IMO, Twitch personalities are as much roles people play as characters in movies or in TV shows.
The world watched in anticipation as the large, metallic door of the rounded, bulbous ship slowly slid up. Ever since astronomers had spotted the strange object approaching Earth, speculation had run wild. Was it an asteroid on a collision course? An alien probe? Pure chance or guided action? Countless articles had been written proposing and debunking the idea of randomness in its design.
Twelve hours earlier, when the large object had changed course, decelerated, and gone into orbit around Earth, speculation about the nature of the device ceased. It was clearly guided and piloted. The speculation shifted to the nature of the entities inside what could only be a spaceship. Tensions had increased. Armies were mobilised but the technology on display was, frankly, so far superior to anything humankind had developed that military action was considered futile. Everyone hoped and prayed that whatever came out - be it sentient, robotic, or other - would be peaceful.
And, now, every eye on the planet was glued to a screen showing the scene in Kyoto, Japan, where the landing vessel, dispatched mere moments after orbit had been achieved, was now opening. Breathless commentators in hundreds of languages tried to capture the majesty of the event, some more successfully than others.
Many themes were common - the definitive answer to whether humans were alone in the world, fear about the prospect of invasion, probable communication issues, and speculation as the appearance of the aliens. Some were unique to the speaker - prospective worship of the aliens, possible reasons for the selection of Kyoto, advice on how to hide, planned celebrations, and nearly every other conceivable idea.
As the door slowly eased upwards, camera operators jockeyed for position. The first glimpse was of what looked for all the world to be two orange shoes with yellow soles. Commentators who had done their homework spoke semi-knowledgeably about convergent evolution and how bilateral symmetry must have some evolutionary advantage. Others took it as a sign that the visitors were time-traveling humans, come back to prevent some pending imminent calamity.
With agonizing slowless, the door continued to inch upward. Above the shoes, flesh started to appear - bright green, smooth, unnatural flesh which somehow emanated the essence of being natural and not artificial. Two green legs protruded from those orange shoes.
Mere seconds later, a white belly began to appear, sagging between the two stationary legs. The rest of the alien was soon revealed - it appeared to be reptilian in nature, with a stubby tail, two arms ending in three-fingered hands and an opposable thumbs, a large bulbous nose, and three spines running down from the back of its head across its short neck and a little ways down its back (original witnesses disagreed on the color with some saying orange and some red, but later Yoshis in public all had red spines). Its face was somewhat hidden behind that large green nose, but two soulless eyes - black pupils in pure white eyes looked out impassively. On its flat back was a red shell that looked for all the world to wrap around its body like a saddle. It had a smooth concave top.
Fusajiro Miyamoto, Prime Minister of Japan, stepped forward tentatively. He bowed and, leaning over gently to reach the same height as the alien (later calculated to be 155 cm), formally welcomed it to Earth. "Konnichi-wa!" Quick worldwide negotiation had agreed that the leader of the country where the aliens landed would be responsible for initial diplomacy. A horde of linguistic specialists were nearby, ready to assist in whatever way they could. Every language, from Esperanto to ancient Latin, had an expert present.
Behind the alien, the door shut quickly. But not quickly enough to prevent cameras from capturing images of countless green-and-white checked ovals. Very few could identify their purpose.
The alien regarded Miyamoto impassively for a moment, before lightning-quick, a long red tongue shot out of its mouth, unfurling as it went, stopping inches away from the frightened man. A written note fluttered out and Miyamoto caught it without thinking. It contained words that every viewer saw in his or her native language. In English, the eight words were, "I am Yoshi. I am here to help."
Everything went pretty well for the first few weeks, even months. Experimentation showed that a Yoshi (for individual Yoshis would seemingly appear when needed simultaneously around the globe) could carry incredible loads in its mouth, would let a single human ride it, was immune to many sharp objects, and never seemed to tire. Yoshi did seem shy or nervous around other Yoshis, though.
Scientists attempted to experiment on a Yoshi - to determine what its shoes or skin or shells were made of, whether it was alive, and a host of other things. Every experiment ended before it even truly began. No action other than riding or pushing a Yoshi ever actually occurred. The Yoshi would simply disappear, seeming to instantly wink out of existence, in a way that was impossible to understand, let alone to replicate. The more superstitious claimed it was magic, but the old saying of sufficiently advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic was a more likely explanation.
Some oddities were detected. Occasionally, reports would surface of a Yoshi in a color other than green (mostly unsubstantiated but prevalent). Flying Yoshis were reported, too but more rarely. The most interesting anomaly was on the initial note. While the message on the front was clear and changed language based on the viewer, the back appeared to be a summons to court for committing tax fraud - a summon specifically indicating Yoshi.
Despite the tax concerns, human society quickly adapted to take advantage of the new, seemingly-limitless resource. Certain professions were hit the hardest, but the economic advantages of using a Yoshi were impossible to ignore. Everything seemed ideal, for a period of time. As days passed, though, rumors began to swirl about a dark side to the aliens. No more than two were ever in the same vicinity at the same time, causing issues in metropolis areas. More sinister were the accusations that Yoshi was dangerous, a threat to human life. Most ignore such stories, but they grew in frequency and intensity, such that investigation was required.
The first confirmed Yoshi-related death occurred in Manitoba, Canada, where a Yoshi carried its rider into a swiftly-moving river, where she promptly drowned. That death opened a floodgate of related incidents, where Yoshi was responsible for human deaths. It was never direct but it was a growing problem. In weeks, Yoshi overtook road accidents as the #1 injury-related cause of death. Days later, Yoshi passed dementia. With frightening speed, Yoshi was the leading cause of death worldwide.
At about the same time, the alien ship, which had frustrated all attempts to penetrate or analyze, first acted since its door had closed months earlier. A large portal opened in the side of the ship, below a sign that said "Send 100 to Attempt to Remove Yoshi" in the viewer's native language. A quick international coalition decided to send in 100 random individuals from around the world. 47 came out after the first day, reporting giant turtles, platforms, moving mushrooms, and other oddities - a series of 8 trials that they successfully completed. The news ran on every outlet worldwide, with a cautionary note of hope that maybe the bloodshed would cease. Those 47 did not voluntary return through the portal, but they all disappeared the next morning at precisely 8:00 a.m. Kyoto time and none returned. Even more deaths directly attributable to the aliens, though by this point, those 100 were mere grains of sand in the Sahara.
Thus it was, that despite the obvious danger, the next day another 100 volunteers and voluntolds entered the ship - a desperate attempt to stem the tide of Yoshi-related deaths. This group fared better, having 74 survive the first day. The second day, 40 emerged, describing giant dinosaurs, huge fire-breathing plants, pipes, and death at every turn. But instead of only 8 challenges, it was 16. Hopes faded the next day, when they again disappeared at 8:00 a.m. and none returned.
At this time, the pattern was clear. A call went out for the most knowledgeable, the most skilled, the truly elite, to come and face the threat. While those mustered, another group of 100 entered and failed. Then a fourth group, desperate for intelligence. None had any survive even the second day, and no one knew how many days would be required.
The fifth group, though, was handpicked. Led by their two great generals, Thedragonfeeney and Grandpoobear, an elite team of 100 gathered. All the legends of the past were present - Kronicsauce, Thabeast, Enviosity, Patty, Trihex, and more. The elite of the current generation - Ryukahr, Carlsagan42, Aurateur, Failstream, Jaku and compatriots made up the bulk of the 100. It was truly the elitest of the elites. This is their story.
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