Sup. Um, thank you for reading this. Hope you don't have a problem with LGBT themes. Reviews/Constructive criticism would be really appreciated. This is probably going to be a two-chaptered story that ties in with an pseudo-AU I'm working on. Enjoy.

With her blonde hair splayed across the soft earth, Peach laid next to Zelda, clenching her chest and gasping for breath. Her round face was smudged with dirt and ash. Her sapphire eyes were closed in exhaustion. Zelda was on her knees next to her blonde team mate, her hands pressed to the ground and her head hung as she too caught her breath and assessed the situation. At that moment, she wished that the fact that the stage they were on was based on her home worked in her favor even a little.

They were down to their last lives in a match at Hyrule Temple against the blue team, which consisted of Ike and Link. It had taken entirely too long to bring Ike down to his last life, and Link was still at two, albeit at a high health of 132%. Unfortunately, Peach and Zelda were both at 56 and 79% respectively. They warily resided in the lower part of the temple while Link waited for Ike to be resurrected at the top.

"We're going to lose," Peach sobbed, spreading her arms out and flailing dramatically. "Ike's going to come back and fuck us up because he hits hard as hell and we're going to lose." At that moment, the Hylian princess snapped her head up and stood with a look of determination in her eyes. She sensed the slightest change in the air and her pointed ears twitched from the sound of Ike approaching with an air attack. She aggressively thrust her palm forward, shocking him.

"Peach! Go take care of Link," Zelda shouted the order as she threw Ike towards the edge. "But for the love of all that is magical…" Ike recovered and Zelda slashed through the air with her hand, sending him back again.

"Do not get grabbed!" The blonde princess saluted and quickly rolled into a standing position, running and jumping up to meet Link with a hard smack of her crown. When this didn't kill him, she ascended the temple, following him relentlessly to finish him off.

Zelda dodged backwards to put some distance between her and her blue-haired opponent, then dashed forward, jumping in the air to land a lightning kick to his chest. He countered, sending her flying towards the edge of the stage, where she would have died if she hadn't miraculously caught an obscure piece of the crumbling architecture. The brunette fell to the ground in pain, hissing and holding her stomach. Peach was right; he hit fucking hard.

Speaking of Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom Princess dropped down from the top of the temple, throwing herself at Ike hip-first to defend her team-mate. Before he could recover from the blow, she grabbed him by the collar and slapped him back towards Zelda, who landed the lightning kick perfectly this time, sending the blue-haired mercenary flying into his team mate.

"Nice shot!" Peach shouted with a thumb up, grinning and winking at Zelda, whose cheeks reddened bashfully. Link came down the slope of Hyrule Temple with furious speed, and slashed Peach across the back, sending her off the stage. Had it not been for Peach's ability to float, she would have been eliminated then and there. She climbed back onto the stage just in time be hit by her team mate's body, preventing Zelda from soaring out of the stage.

"Damn, Link," Peach huffed and climbed back on the stage once more. "You seem a little angry." A smirk blossomed on her lips as she stood, with Zelda behind her. "I'll make sure not to hurt your boyfriend anymore."

It took a second for what she said to sink in to everyone.

"Uh." Ike started, looking at Peach incredulously. "… What?"

The blonde swordsman, dashed bright-eyed and ready to attack at Peach, who simply pulled out her Toad and countered. Ike was also hit by the shockwave that sent Link flying back, and Zelda seized the opportunity to jump in the air above him and spike him viciously to the ground, setting Peach up for the charged swing of her golf-club that eliminated Link's team partner.

"Looks like the tables have officially been turned." Zelda stood next to her taller partner, who had her hands on her hips, looking at Link as he smoothed a gloved palm over his face in regret.

"That was honestly a stupid statement." Came the monotonous, reprimanding tone from Samus Aran, who sat, spit-shining the helmet of her Varia Suit.

"You're a stupid statement." Peach hastily replied, crossing her arms under her chest. "Wait. What are we even talking about?"

"The part where you implied Link was gay just to win the match, of course," She paid Peach a customary glance, and then went back to perfecting the shine of her helmet. "It seemed very immature of you."

The shorter blonde huffed, straddling the bench with her gloved hands pressed to it as she leaned in closer. "Okay, first of all—"

"Oh, here we g—"

"No," Her voice was laced with contempt as she shook her head and glared. "No. You're going to listen." Peach cleared her throat in what was obviously more theatrics than necessity. "First of all, Zelda and I would have won that match anyway. I don't know why everyone likes to pretend that I'm not the best damn team mate ever, period. Second? Is there something wrong with being gay, Samus Aran? Is there something you want to tell me? I don't knowingly associate with bigots."

"You know damn well I didn't mean it like that." The bounty hunter frowned. "Stop being sensitive." Peach 'hmph'ed and sat back, crossing her arms under her chest again.

"Well, I don't know why you care so much. Hylians generally don't get salty over things like that. And Ike's gay anyway." Samus rolled her eyes and stood, preparing herself to enter the battlefield.

"I'm sure you have some sort of proof to back up your claim."

"Silly heteronormative girl," The round-faced princess started haughtily as she stood. "People are bisexual until proven otherwise, not straight. Also, I hang out with that guy all the time." Samus scoffed and pinched the bridge of her nose, holding her helmet under her left arm. "He says I remind him of his little sister. So there."

"I wonder why." The conversation was ended when Samus began the process of putting her helmet on. Peach pursed her lips and placed her hands on her round hips, deciding what to say next.

"Well, good luck." She decided on, placing a hand on the metal shoulder of Samus' Varia suit awkwardly. "Don't get your ass beat by Falco." With a laugh, Peach exited the waiting lounge with a bounce in her step.

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