A Prank Goes Right… Or Wrong
A/N My first one-shot fanfic, and my first Kung Fu Panda fanfic. It is my first attempt at a purely funny fanfiction, so I hope to get at least a chuckle or two! R & R!
It began as a normal day in the Jade Palace. An early morning, Po getting shouted at for sleeping in followed by bone breaking, exhausting training under the stern gaze of Master Shifu. Lunch came and went, with Po's legendary Secret Ingredient Soup as the main event and, as usual, Po and Monkey were planning yet another 'awesome' prank on the others. This time, they had risked their very lives and targeted the deadly beauty that was Master Tigress…. With unexpected results.
The prank was simple. They would play upon Tigress' feline instincts and trick her into playing with a ball of yarn so that she would get tangled up in it, laugh for a bit and then run like hell before Tigress could untangle herself and mutilate and/or murder them.
Master Tigress walked into her room so that she could change her vest. She growled in irritation. Po had gone for a second helping of his Secret Ingredient Soup and had tripped on his way back to the table, spilling it all over her. She had just changed into a fresh vest; the same colour and design as her usual vest, naturally, when she spotted something odd out of the corner of her eye. She turned and walked over to her bed, picking up the large ball of pink yarn that had been sitting on it, "What the? How did that get here?" She wondered aloud, she shrugged and tossed it back on the bed, intending to return to her training, when she noticed that the ball had rolled onto the floor. Her pupils dilated and her claws unsheathed themselves and she suddenly got an intense urge to pounce on the ball of yarn. She shook her head and growled to herself, "Don't be so childish! Kung Fu Masters do not… play with… yarn…" She glared at the ball that was teasing her, "Damn it! Well… no one's looking… Just one little pounce couldn't hurt…" She muttered to herself before she dived on the yarn and batted it with her paws.
It wasn't long before Tigress' famous self-control completely broke down and she was hopelessly tangled in the pink yarn. It was at that exact moment that Monkey and Po opened the sliding door and stepped into her room, laughing themselves silly, "Hahah! You should see yourself Tigress!" Po said, tears gathering his eyes.
"Yeah! You look like a big kitten!" Monkey chortled, holding his sides.
Tigress' eyes widened and she snarled, "MONKEY! POOOOO!" Suddenly she was tearing at the strings with her teeth and claws, and the pair realised that a very pissed off Tigress was only seconds from freedom.
They did the only thing that a sane person could do in such circumstances. They fled, screaming like little girls. An instant later, the sound of tearing heralded Tigress' freedom and she came bounding out of her room on all fours, fangs bared and claws unsheathed, a look of righteous homicidal fury on her face.
Po was cursing himself and more importantly Monkey, for talking him into it. What the hell had possessed them to prank the most hardcore, most dangerous member of the Furious Five? It was like a death sentence! As the sounds of a furious Tigress came ever closer, Po began praying to every god he knew that she would find Monkey first, so that at least his beating would be much less painful by comparison. Po burst into the Training Hall, surprising Viper, Mantis, Crane and Shifu. Before his surprised friends could ask, their questions were immediately answered by an enraged roar coming from just beyond the door, "POOOO!"
Po ran desperately, trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and the door. Too late! The training hall's doors exploded inwards again as a blur of orange and black hurtled into the Dragon Warrior who managed to cry out, "Tigress! Please! Mercy!"
It was then that something completely unexpected happened. Tigress had misjudged her speed and instead of simply knocking Po down in preparation for a good mauling they had in fact flew head over tail through the air landing so that Po was on top of Tigress in an awkward position… Made worse by the fact that they had landed face-to-face and that they had accidentally kissed each other. The hall went deathly quiet. Viper, Crane and Mantis alternated between staring at Po and Tigress and staring at Master Shifu, who stood completely speechless, mouth wide open.
Po was staring, wide-eyed at Tigress, their lips still touching, his first thought was Oh my Gods! I'm kissing Tigress! Then his eyes widened as horror sunk in, and he thought, Oh my Gods! I'm kissing TIGRESS!
He broke away suddenly, scrambling to get up. Tigress simply sat there for a long moment, eye's completely wide.
Suddenly the spell broke, "POOOOOOO!" Shouted two voices in perfect unison, as Shifu advanced threateningly upon the poor panda, "How dare you kiss my daughter!"
Tigress stood up, glaring at him, "How dare you stop kissing me!"
Po gulped, staring, first at Shifu, then at Tigress. Finally his sense of self-preservation kicked in and he started running with both Shifu and Tigress hot on his heels.
Viper, Mantis and Crane just stared at each other and burst out laughing.
As Po burst through the doors of the Training Hall, he noticed that Monkey was running up the steps, without slowing he shouted, "Monkey! Run for your life!" Po, narrowly missing Monkey, darted down the steps and out of sight. Meanwhile Master Shifu and Tigress ran out of the Training Hall and collided with Monkey, thinking it was Po the two masters proceeded to pummel Monkey into a quivering mass of bruises and cuts. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll never prank you again! I swear!" Monkey blubbered.
The two masters disentangled themselves from the primate, "I'm sorry Monkey, I thought you were Po." Master Shifu said.
Monkey was too unconscious to be offended by the comparison. Drawn by the sounds of fighting, the rest of the Furious Five gathered around Monkey, Shifu issued a quick series of orders, "See to Monkey, Mantis get your acupuncture kit. Viper, you try and wake him up, Crane go and get a healer, tell him to expect another patient shortly…"
With that, Shifu and Tigress resumed their pursuit of the Dragon Warrior…
A petrified Po, pursued by the masters, fled in the direction of the immense staircase that was the only entrance to the Jade Palace. Shortly afterwards the Shifu and Tigress heard his agonised yell as he plunged head first down the mountain, as well as the dull thuds as he bounced down the steps. Shortly afterwards they were at the bottom of the Jade Mountain and Po was trapped, "It was an accident!" He shouted.
"Too late, panda!" Tigress said, a glint in her eyes.
The tiger lunged at him at the same time that Shifu struck him with his former Master's staff.
Po was doomed.
A/N So what do you think? Does it end in Shifu-Fury-Fuelled tragedy for our favourite panda, or do Tigress' affections do him in? I guess we'll never find out.
Sorry if anyone's OOC here, but this was purely for fun.