Title: The Scene We Didn't See
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Rating: T
Summary: Was there more going on than we got to see in 'For Warrick? Oneshot that I wrote for the scene I believe was left out.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did I wouldn't have to be writing this scene.
Warning: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SEASONS 7, 8, & 9
Special thanks to my beta abina2810
Catherine's POV
We did it. We caught the son-of-a-bitch that kil…we caught him. For Warrick. I can't believe he was ever undersheriff. Does it matter that we caught him? Does it make a difference? Does it make everything easier? No. Nothing could make what happened leave my mind. Our hearts. Our team will never be whole again…
Glancing around the locker room I am alone. An internal chill has settled over me.
I remember Warrick so caring and a rock in my life. Only one other person has ever taken the time to be that for me… I remember the day he listened to my problems with Sam. The day that I felt comfortable enough to admit that I was scared. That day I admitted that I am human. Never again will I see his charming smile, see his understanding, hazel eyes, or listen to the amusement in his voice. He always seemed as if he held knowledge of something amusing that we didn't.
I've learned so many things about the man I claimed to know. But it's…it's too late. My last memory of him will be his lifeless body surrounded by dark red blood. And Gil sitting defeated by his side in a blood soaked shirt. Warrick's blood.
Only one positive thing has come out of this. Sara's back. We are as together as a team as we can possibly be. It is the way Warrick would have wanted it…he missed her. We missed her. I missed her. Through all of the pain and suffering she has emerged. As she always has in the past. At my darkest moments she has reached out to me. As a friend. Sometimes I have wished as more. She has remained at my side after all I have put her through.
I am not naïve enough to believe she came back for me. She is here for Grissom. For Grissom and for Warrick.
What if…what if what happened to Warrick had happened to Sara? At least I was kind to him, and showed him I cared. That I loved him. Sara almost died in the hands of a psychopath, and she wouldn't have known that I care about her if she had…
I don't just care, I love her. I am in love with Sara Sidle.
It seems I have loved her forever. Watching from the sidelines for my opportunity. When it came I pushed her away. Afraid of letting her in. Now she is back, and I have lost my chance. She is with Grissom. She is happy. They both deserve to be happy. They deserve each other.
There were times that we spent together and I could have sworn I saw a hint of something in her eyes, but none of that matters now.
I was, and am overwhelmed by this great tragedy. When I walked into Grissom's office I thought I was looking at a ghost. That my sorrow was causing hallucinations. I have still not gotten over the blow of losing Sara as a friend, as a team member, and as family. Now Warrick. But surely enough she was there.
We have never been touchy. Sara has problems with people touching her. Or maybe it is just me. Whichever it is the reasons for her issues are unknown. I was overwhelmed by devastation, and the next thing I know I am in Sara's arms. She was holding me protectively away from the rest of the world with strong arms. Whispering soothing words into my ear. I wished I could stay there longer. I wish I could have stayed in her arms for eternity. The comfort was over as soon as it had started. I had to step aside for the rest of the team.
She left me torn. More upset than I had been before I saw her. Despite my emotion clouded mind I managed to notice how good she looked behind her grief filled expression.
The tears I have been holding in are finally flowing freely. Burning trails down my face. I am grateful that I am alone, and no one is here to witness me break.
Images of Sara collapsed in the desert flood my mind. I can feel the level of panic that rose within me when we found the first body. Even in a time of crisis she remained level headed and left clues. I can remember my longing to be the one in the helicopter with her. Her body with life slowly slipping from it begins to morph into Warrick. I fought the urge to let out the contents on my stomach when I saw him. I couldn't believe it was real.
It can't be. He will walk through the door at any moment. Smiling and joking.
Sara smirking. Warrick Laughing. Sara's concern. Warrick's flirting. I have lost so many people in my life that have meant more to me than life itself.
I struggle to close myself off but I can. The images are becoming more gruesome, and the darkness is seeping into my soul. My tears are a constant flowing stream of lava.
Arms wrap around me pulling me closer. Gentle yet strong. A familiar comfort washes over me. Allowing me to let go. I rack with sobs as a loving hand rubs my back. "It's okay Cat. I'm here. I've got you," Sara whispers in my ear.
I wrap my arms around her. Grasping onto her shirt; afraid that when she lets go I will fall and never stop. The scenes continue to circle through my mind, as Sara whispers words of comfort. Letting me know that in the end it will be okay. That she knows that I am strong. That I can do this. But for now she has got me and I am safe. That she is not leaving.
Her words help me gain control but I refuse to let go.
Tomorrow is another day. I will have to go on with life. Sara will return to Gil. She might forget her words and leave me behind once again. Broken and fading.
But for now she is here. Sara Sidle is mine, and she isn't going anywhere.
THE END
