Song Fic-"Deathblow" AKA Not Your Ordinary Love Story

Someone once told me that things aren't always what they appear to be. At the time I was too young to understand what exactly that meant. I remember thinking to myself, "what the hell, the sky isn't blue and the grass isn't green? After all that is what they appear to be." I wasn't looking at all that philosophical bullshit. It wasn't until I was older and able to apply it to my own life that I started to truly understand what the saying was trying to convey. This simple saying became the foundation of my life.

First, we need to start with a concept foreign to my vocabulary. That being the concept of happiness. I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, not that tired old song. A depressed woman feeling sorry for herself." But I can assure you this is not the case. My little tale is more of a love story. My little love story. Anyway as I was saying, I never knew happiness. Daddy wasn't a loving man. If I so much as looked at him in a way he didn't like I would be punished. However, he never hit me. No Daddy didn't believe in physical violence. Rather he believed isolating me from the world would give me time to reflect on what I had done wrong. I became very familiar with the small cramped closet and the cold dark basement. I was young and naive and I believed that this form of punishment was normal. Don't get me wrong, I didn't enjoy it one damn bit. Alone in the closet for hours, with no end in site, I would first hum to myself trying to keep my mind off of the small space. Then I would start to become restless. My mind became hazy and, while still humming, I would start to rock back and forth subconsciously clawing at my face. I remember clawing at myself, pieces of skin underneath my bloody nails, humming louder and louder hoping Daddy would let me out. Daddy had a way of making me believe that I deserved to be locked away from the world. I was emotionally a mess. Where is Mommy throughout this turmoil? Well I'm not sure. Daddy just told me "the bitch didn't love us anymore and she left."

Daddy's other favorite place to lock me in was the basement. That is where I meet "the beast." Whatever was left of my sprit was surely broken when this monster came into my life. I still remember when it entered. I had been in the basement for what seemed like at least five hours. I had to pee really badly. I begged Daddy to let me out so I could use the bathroom. I promised him that I would be good. But he just callously replied, "disrespectful little girls have no place in this world." I couldn't hold it any longer and I ultimately peed on myself. My first reaction was shame. How could I be reduced to this? I wasn't even allowed to use the bathroom. Then I became extremely infuriated. My mind started to think twisted thoughts of revenge. I saw my reflection on a small mirror across from where I was sitting. I looked into my own eyes and it is there that I saw "the beast." It was within me and it gave me power and strength that I didn't have before to do things I would have never done before.

I was sixteen when I attempted suicide. I tied a rope around a pipe that hung on the basement ceiling. I tied the other end around my neck as I slowly stood on the chair. I took a deep breath, exhaled, then closed my eyes and stepped off. I remember hanging there, my body limp, swinging back and forth finding it harder and harder to breath. Then before I lost all consciousness the pipe broke and I fell hard to the cold damp ground. After that failed attempt I realized that I was going about this all wrong. My newfound inner strength wasn't meant for me to kill myself. It was Daddy who I was meant to kill.

Two weeks after my botched attempt at taking my own life, I decided that I had enough of Daddy. Everything about him was getting under my skin. The way he talked, the way he smirked, the way he walked. It all drove me to the deep end and I couldn't stand him anymore. Familiar with the cold basement I noticed that Daddy kept his tools down there. Possessed by the beast within I made my way downstairs. I removed his favorite hammer from his tool chest. Walking back upstairs all I remember was seeing him sitting at the kitchen table. When it was all over I was covered with blood and Daddy's head was smashed into the table, his skull cracked and brain matter splattered across the wooden table. I didn't feel any emotion. I just stood there until the nice officers found us a few hours later.

Soon I found myself here. It is a nice peaceful place most of the time. My only complaint is they often punish me just like Daddy did. When you are bad the nurses lock you in a room with padding all along the wall. But the best thing about this place is this is where I met the love of my life.

Soon as you came in, all the beast went away

They noticed that you're warm, wait till you leave then come back for more…

When I first saw him I felt an overwhelming calmness come over me. The rage and anger that I had inside melted away. There was an instant chemistry between the two of us. I knew it the moment I saw this amazing superhero.

The ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known

As soon as you came in, the agony went away

I watch him from afar and I study his every move in and outside of the wrestling ring. He truly is a superhero. If there is anyone in this world who can show me the meaning of happiness it is he. That smile, those eyes, his clothes, and the sound of his voice, I am in love with every little detail.

I noticed what you wore to everything we spoke and more…

And the ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known

It only takes one break of your pose to get off

When I close my eyes I can vividly see his full luscious lips lean in and gently kiss me. It is a moment that I like to repeat over and over. I start to feel emotions that I never felt before when I see his face. I believe the feeling is happiness but as I said before it is a foreign concept.

To save your place…home with you… still the same song…

As soon as you came in is when I believe we both crashed course

And the ropes hang to keep us all awake and I should have known

It only takes one break of your pose to get off

I was just informed that it is time for our weekly meeting. Well that is if he has a match tonight. Nurse Linda said that I could go out and watch Raw once I take my medicine. I look forward to our meeting. As I said before things aren't always what they appear to be. In my case Daddy wasn't a loving person even though on the outside he may have fooled the on lookers. We are always told that killing is bad. But if it wasn't for me killing Daddy I would have never been introduced to Shane Helms. I may be locked up for now but I won't be in this place forever. Once I am out I will find Shane and then he will rescue me from me. When we are finally united, he will no doubt be able to see that, although I may appear to be crazy, inside I am the one for him. We will live happily ever after.

And to save our place home with you all

That's all it takes

Well I should have known it's still the same song

Soon as you came in, all the beast went away

Song-"Deathblow" by the Deftones