After visiting Alice Longbottom in St. Mungo's
He screams in frustration.
"It's like she wasn't even there, Marls!" Sirius yells, slamming his hands onto Marlene's beautiful writing desk. He feels her hand on his shoulder.
"Siri… It's been hard on all of us…"
Tears are threatening to spill over his eyelids.
"She was so.." he shudders, forcing his voice to remain steady, "So innocent… And kind…" he begins to laugh deliriously, "Remember what I used to call her Marly? Sweety. I never called anyone sweety but her…"
He's turned around now, and see's her warm brown eyes brimming with tears, and she wraps her arms around his wide torso. He doesn't return the hug, but buries his face in her shoulder and allows himself to cry.
"I-i-it's not fair." He sobs, feeling like a child.
"These things never are." Marlene whispers, stroking his hair.
Holding a dying Mary Macdonald
"St-stay with me, Mary Mac, I've sent for help… It'll be okay…" He says, desperately wanting this to be true. His hands are sticky with her blood as he wipes stray hairs from her face.
A strained smile forces its way onto her face, "I'm glad you'll be here when I die. I've always wanted it to be John, you, or-" her breath hitches and she winces.
"You're not going to die." He says forcefully, cradling her head. He can't help the tears that blur his vision.
"Hush now, Sirius. We both know that's not true." She whispers hoarsely, "Be there for John. He'll need it. Tell Marlene you love her before it's too late." She gasps, and clutches his fingers tighter.
The light that had always been in her brown eyes was fading fast. There was nothing he could do. He sobs openly and without inhibition.
"Stay strong, remember I love you Siri…" then, with one last strained smile, her heart stops beating and her brown eyes glaze over.
"No… no…" he mutters, "Mary… Please…"
He holds her in his arms and weeps.
Learning that Marlene Mckinnon is dead
"I'm so sorry, Padfoot… I knew you two were close…"
His heart stops in his chest. Not Marlene. No. He'd lost too many, he couldn't lose Marlene.. No…
"There had to be a mistake! Marlene was an amazing witch, she'd have.. found a way.." he forces the words out, his throat constricts.
James' expression grows solemn, "She's gone Pads.. I saw her body.." James trails off, watching Sirius with a tremendous amount of pain in his eyes.
"GODDAMNIT!" Sirius yells as his fist collides with a wall, "WHY?" his desperate yell fills the room, broken plaster cuts his knuckles and he falls to the floor crying.
James cautiously makes his way over to his best friend, crouching down beside him and throwing an arm around Sirius' shoulders.
"Marlene…" he whispers, leaning into James. Marlene and her teasing, flirty smile. Marlene and her beautiful brown eyes. Marlene and her thick brown hair. Marlene with her adorable little dimples. Marlene with the laugh that sounded like sunshine…
She was gone.