Coulda Shoulda Woulda
Okay, so this is attempt number two at fanfiction writing. This is basically going to be a collection of one-shots (or maybe two-shots) of all the times that Castle and Beckett were interrupted or didn't dare to say what they were really thinking, and what would've happened if they'd manage to say what they really felt. I've already got a long, long list of these times (the writers of this show really enjoyed cockblocking these guys), but I'm not planning on writing them in order, I'll just write whichever one I feel like. When I'm finished I'll probably reorder it, but who knows when that will be. I'm starting with the most obvious (to me) story.
Enjoy! The rating is not set in cement, so I'm just putting it as T in case. It might go in either direction.
And if I owned Castle, this is how it would gone in the first place.
A Deadly Game
"Castle, do you have a second?" She can feel her heart hammering in her chest. Why does her voice sound so high? Stay calm, Beckett reminds herself.
"Of course, yeah," Castle responds. He gets up to follow her out of the room. Ryan and Esposito exchange knowing glances and Beckett sees Lanie smirk out of the corner of her eye.
She pulls the door shut after her, wanting the privacy of the almost empty precinct.
"What's up?"
Beckett takes a deep breath and readies herself. "Look," she starts. "I know that I'm not the easiest person to get to know," she continues, feeling her nervousness showing, "and I don't always let on what's on my mind." Castle's smile motivates Beckett, and she plunges on. "But this past year, working with you, I've had a really good time."
Castle's eyes crinkle as he smiles slightly and tells her, "Yeah, me too." He looks somewhat awed. Heck, he feels somewhat awed. He watches in amazement as Beckett grins at him - honestly, without being her usual guarded self.
"So, I'm- I'm just gonna say this and please let me just finish first, okay?" Castle hesitates, in case he's not meant to answer that either. Beckett continues. "I just want you to know that even if I don't show it all the time, you really do mean a lot to me, so I wanted to let you know that I've reconsidered and decided to take you up on your offer to go up to the Hamptons."
Castle freezes. He wasn't expecting that at all. "Really?" The word leaves his lips before he can stop them, and he curses his vocabulary for escaping him at that moment.
One corner of Beckett's lips pull up to form a half amused, half anxious smile. "Yes, really. Is that a problem?"
"Um, not a problem, per se," Castle stammers out. "It's just that Gina, you know, my ex-wife and publisher, well, I kind of invited her up to the Hamptons."
Beckett can hear her heartbeat in her ears, and can barely make out her own questions. "What? When? Why?"
"Well, she finally managed to get through to me last night on the phone, and we just ended up talking for hours, so I invited her up for the summer to help me focus on writing. I figured since you were going away with Demming this weekend, there was no chance of you coming... with... me..." Castle trails off, taking in the expression on Beckett's face.
"I broke up with Demming," she whispers. Castle isn't sure he's heard properly. Did she just say she broke up with Demming? What else could she have said? What rhymes with Demming? Stemming Lemming? Fleming? None of those make any sense though... "Castle!" Beckett's sharp voice cuts through his confusion. "Did you hear me?" Her tone returns to quiet.
"I think so," he responds. "I'm just..."
"No, it's fine." Beckett pastes a smile across her face and tries to sound convincing. "I get it. Have fun this summer."
"Kate, listen..." His use of her first name doesn't slip by her, and she bites her lip to stop it from trembling.
It's at this moment that Castle hears a voice behind him. "Richard, you ready?" He turns to see Gina beaming at him as she walks towards the two of them. It figured she would choose this moment to show up.
"Uh, yeah!" he calls to her. "Just one second," he adds, and turns back to face Beckett. "Listen to me, I just wanted say that I had no idea-"
"Castle, I think you should go. Gina is waiting for you." She wants to add, See you in the fall, but she can't quite manage to make her mouth say the words. Castle flashes her one last, half desperate, half apologetic look, before he turns away and walks out of the precinct. And out of Beckett's life. Forever, she fears.
Lanie is the first one by her side, hugging her, comforting her. The boys aren't far behind, knowing how much it took her to put her pride on the line like that.
Beckett lets her hair hang over eyes so her friends don't see the tears that fall.
Meanwhile, Castle is loading his stuff into the taxi, and flashes a smile at Gina, and hopes she doesn't notice that it's not a real smile. Once everything is in the car, he takes a deep breath, trying to block out the memory of Beckett's trembling lips and moist eyelashes. There was no way of knowing, he tries to console himself.
But it doesn't work. "Gina, listen." She looks at him from the other side of the taxi, where she had started to climb in, and smiles expectantly. "I know you were looking forward to this summer, and I was too, but I don't think I can do this."
The smile doesn't disappear from Gina's face, but it shifts from one of joy to one of resigned acceptance. "It's her, isn't it. I saw the way you two were looking at each other."
"I'm sorry," is all he can say.
And then he's running, running back up the steps of the precinct, not caring about his luggage, or Gina, or about anything but getting to Kate and telling her how much he cares about her, how much it hurt to see her and Demming together.
He hurdles into Lanie, almost causing both of them to fall to the floor. "Lanie," he exclaims breathlessly. "Where's Beckett?"
"She's getting her stuff together. But if you're back to break her heart some more, I will hurt you."
"It's not like that," Castle laughs dizzily. Lanie checks out his expression carefully.
"Oh, finally going to go for it? Good on ya, I'll finally be able to make some money from the betting pool." Castle only takes a moment to pray that Beckett never finds out about this betting pool (because it's likely to result in someone's death) before he's thanking Lanie and rushes into the break room, where Beckett is gathering up her stuff.
"Castle, what are you doing here?" She sounds tired, and Castle can see the tear stains down her cheek.
"Um, I just had to come back to do something."
"Oh, okay," she responds emotionlessly. Beckett chides herself for letting her hopes get up again. "Don't let me stop you then." And she goes back to putting her coat on.
"Kate, look at me," he orders her, and she does, taken back by the determination in his voice. "I had to come back to tell you that I made a mistake, planning to go off with Gina. So I came back to tell you that you're the only one for me, and I was an idiot, and that's about it." Now he's panting from the running and his short speech.
Beckett feels frozen in place, and time seems to stop as the two of them look into each other's eyes, neither daring to make the first move.
"Did you just say...?" Beckett trails off, her voice catching in her throat.
"Yeah, I think I did," Castle answers, and he steps forward, grabs her waist and pulls her towards him, meeting her lips with her own.
Beckett responds instantly, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning her body into his.
When they pull apart, they are both gasping slightly. Castle rests his forehead against hers, and thanks her inappropriately high heels for making them level. "That was amazing," he breathes.
From the doorway comes the sound of someone clearing their throat. Castle and Beckett look up to see Lanie, Esposito and Ryan grinning at them like the Cheshire cat. Beckett rolls her eyes and tells them, "Okay you've had your show." Castle marvels at how normal she sounds. He knows that if he tried talking right then, the results would not be good.
"Fine we'll leave. But you kids make sure you be safe, okay?" Esposito smirks.
"I didn't agree to leaving," Ryan protests.
"Can I just add, 'I told you so'," is Lanie's input before the three of them leave, shutting the door behind them to give their friends some undoubtedly necessary privacy.
Okay, so this is longer than I intended. When it was at like 300 words I was like, this isn't going to be very long, but then I kept writing and it turned into this. Hopefully you enjoyed, but even if you didn't, let me know why by clicking on the review button!