A NEW KIND OF BIG BAD WOLF
By Wile_E2005
DISCLAIMER: Zeke Wolf, and all related characters and trademarks are copyrighted by the Walt Disney Company.
WITH THE VOICE TALENTS OF:
JIM CUMMINGS – Big Bad Wolf, Nasty Jack, Peg Leg Pete, Kaa, Tantor Elephant, Winnie the Pooh, Don Karnage, various
COREY BURTON – Penguin waiter, Weasels, various crowd members
MAURICE LAMARCHE – Professor Ratigan, Robin Hood
JAMES ARNOLD TAYLOR – Basil of Baker Street
VAL BETTIN – Dr. David Q. Dawson
PAT CARROLL – Ursula
JONATHAN FREEMAN – Jafar
GILBERT GOTTFRIED – Iago
TOM HANKS – Woody
B-5 – Boy Band
ROB PAULSEN – P.J., Pecos Bill, Stan Woozle, Sheriff of Nottingham, various crowd members
KATH SOUCIE – The Bimbettes, various crowd members
JESS HARNELL – Br'er Fox, Roger Rabbit
KEVIN MICHAEL RICHARDSON –Jim Crow
FRANK WELKER – Fidget, Droopy, Lucifer, Ice Cream Vendor, Weasels
KATHLEEN TURNER – Jessica Rabbit (speaking voice)
AMY IRVING and MELISSA MANCHESTER – Jessica Rabbit (singing voice)
DAVID LANDER - Smarty
JAMES MACDONALD – Evinrude (archive audio)
TRESS MacNEILLE – Miss Bianca
BOB NEWHART - Bernard
BILL FARMER – Goofy, Practical Pig
JASON BATEMAN – Nick Wilde
GINNIFER GOODWIN – Judy Hopps
IDRIS ELBA – Chief Bogo
PETER CULLEN - Eeyore
SCOTT MENVILLE – Li'l Bad Wolf
? – The Boss
1: The Spy Force
On the Streets of America in the Disney's Hollywood Studios theme park at Walt Disney World, all the guests and patrons were carrying on and having a good time. They did not notice that a shadowy figure in a trenchcoat, fedora hat and sunglasses was standing in an alley. The only distinguishing features were a large wolfish snout with a black nose, and two black ears perking on the sides of the hat. He took down some notes and casually walked out of the alley. Among entering a telephone booth, he picked up the receiver, put in a coin and dialed.
A voice came from the other side of the line: "Got the password?"
"Woof!" the mysterious figure barked, rather gruffly. Then he hung up the phone. Suddenly the floor began to lower, taking him down into a hallway in the basement. He walked all the way down this hallway and came up to a door. He opened it, and among arriving at the desk he met the secretary, whom was none other than Ursula of The Little Mermaid!
"Go right on in Wolfie. The boss is expecting you," Ursula said.
The shadowy figure then removed his fedora and sunglasses, revealing his full face. He was none other than Zeke Wolf, known by his friends and other people as the Big Bad Wolf! Underneath the fedora was his distinctive beat-up top hat. "Thanks, Miss!" the wolf growled.
Then the Wolf walked up to a set of large doors with "THE BOSS" above them. He pushed the buzzer, and the doors opened up. Inside, the boss, who sat in a large chair and his face was in the shadows, was there. He was petting Lucifer, the cat from Cinderella.
"So, you have completed another day snooping around, Mr. Wolf," the boss said, in an electronically distorted voice.
"Yes, sir!" the wolf grinned. "Not much to report, though. Just the usual suckers being roped into spending a lot of money at your theme park, teenagers that are big fans of your Disney Channel tween shows, and little kids that like the stuff on Disney Junior. Nobody has gotten suspicious of our spy ring yet."
"Excellent!" the boss said. "My other men cannot compare to your spying. Pete is too big to be in stealth mode, Kaa's hypnotic eyes are a giveaway, and Fidget's peg leg makes his sneaking too audible. And I don't want to bring up any of my other spies. I am totally disgusted watching them FAIL me, while I only get total protection from you, B.B. Wolf."
Wolfie growled in agreement, sporting a big wolfish grin.
"If you want to make me happy, you can help be sure that my latest plan succeeds," the boss added.
"Yes, I am glad I don't have to chase those three pigs anymore," the wolf said. "I can now spend more time with some of my good friends when I have the spare time."
"The rest of my men are going over to Epcot via the monorail," the boss explained his plan. "Once I give the signal, we begin to give all of the patrons of the park a rough time, yet still making them spend a lot more money on everything here. If that works, we will also do the same at the other parks and complexes of Disney World, and then Disneyland, Disney's California Adventure, our cruise line, Disneyland Resort Paris, Tokyo Disneyland, Hong Kong Disneyland, and eventually the whole world!"
The Big Bad Wolf liked that idea. He playfully howled in approval, and then said, "You're such a foul, cunning person. I like that!"
"This time," the boss said, grinning menacingly, "failure is OUT of the question! Now pick up your paycheck from Ursula and take the weekend off."
"Aye-aye, sir!" Wolf said, and left the office.
…
Outside the spy headquarters, the Wolf had put his sunglasses back on, but not the fedora (he kept his top hat on instead). Then he ran into his good friend Big Pete, also known to his friends as Peg Leg Pete, even though he no longer had a peg leg. Pete was similarly dressed in a trenchcoat, but he did not have sunglasses or a hat on. "Well, if it isn't old Wolfie!" Pete laughed. "What a serendipity-doo-dah!"
The Big Bad Wolf gave Pete a big hug and playfully slurped his face. "I'm not as big and bad as you think anymore," he laughed, tilting his sunglasses down and slyly raising his eyebrows.
"I was wondering if you could teach me…" Pete began, but then his Smartphone rang (the ringtone was the Humphrey Bear/Walt Disney Cartoon Classics collection theme music) and he answered it. "Hello? Oh, it's you P.J. Oh sure, go ahead and do that. I don't mind. Just don't try to mess up Goofy's place! See you tomorrow." He hung up and said to the wolf, "That was just P.J. He wants to sleep over at Max's house, and I gave him the go-ahead. Anyways, I was wondering if you could teach me how to be a good crafty spy like you?"
"Of course I could!" the wolf grinned. "I will teach you on our ultimate mission on Monday."