FOX BECOMES
ADDICTED TO CHEESE: CHEESE DELIVERS!
The long awaited most recent
Star Fox/cheese misadventure!
Before we begin the story, I offer you a song:
He's an Arwing pilot who leads a life of
danger,
and his wingmen agree, his cheese obsession keeps on
getting STRANGER!
Be careful not to eat too much cheese, or you'll
forget to scratch your fur for fleas!
The odds are he won't stop
the cheese today, or tomorrow!
His name is Fox Mcloud. His name
is...Fox Mcloud!
He used to be an awesome outer space warrior,
but
now he's just WILD about cheese!
Intro:
"Ever
since I can remember I had a fascination with cheese, it began during
the early stages of
childhood, and evolved there onwards!"
----- Fox Mcloud
"Fox was a bright boy overall, but he
was always very inquisitive, even for a frisky
young fox cub, and
he was always asking me questions...all of them being odd
questions....and stranger,
many of them involving....cheese!"
---- Vixy Reinard, regarding Fox Mcloud's cheesecapades.
"I have to admit, cheese helped me understand geometry!" ------ Slippy Toad
"I have absoloutely no say in anything Fox
enjoys! My favorite food is New England
Clam Chowder" ----
Falco Lombardi, regarding cheese
"Cheese is awesome!" ---- Fox Mcloud.
"Cajkod if damhetj! Ucc 0eih sxoojo uho rocedw ke ij! Xuxuxuxuuuu!" ----- General Scales (Note: That was Saurian language)
"DO A CHEESE ROLL!
Alright! It all
began when everyone in Team Star Fox except Lt. Fox Mcloud,
was
CAPTURED, and held hostage by the ferrocious imperial forces
of the evil emperor Andross!
FOX BECOMES ADDICTED TO CHEESE: Cheese Delivers
One day, Fox woke up to find out
his wingmen were gone! They had been captured by Andross, while Fox
was mowing Peppy's lawn! What could Fox do? Where could his friends
be? Would Fox be able to pull off a solo arwing
rail-mission
victory? Perhaps, perhaps he could! General Pepper gave him a Super
Stinky Cheese Bomb, after all! So Fox set off to help his allies,
like a good natured Cornerian fox hero should! He knew that his cause
was just, and that helping your friends is good! He packed with him
his favorite food product, cheese, before boldly and courageously
zooming off into the distant galaxies! So he gathered up some fuel
cells and blasted off in his Arwing, when suddenly, he got a
transmission that was alarming! It was from Andross, imagine the
horror and fear, as Fox found out about the fate of his friends, that
he loved so so dear.
"Your friends are my prisoners now,
can't you see? Their arwings are being reverse-engineered in my brand
new factory! Their ships and their technology will make my army twice
as strong! By now you're probably asking, can't we all just get
along?" said Andross, laughing with evil glee.
"You
won't get away with this! I have twin-lasers and nova bombs! I'll
blast you and your ships right out of the skies! These words I speak
are true, none of them are lies!" said Fox.
"HAHA, very
well then!" laughed Andross. "I dare you to come to my
secret lair on Venom. You'll see me as a floating head, and that's
all I'm tellin! Prepare to die Fox! BWAHAHAHAHA!" said
Andross.
"Okay, Andross, but you've gotta be warned. I'm an
ace pilot, I'm not to be laughed at or scorned!" exclaimed our
hero, Fox Mcloud. Fox blasted off into the far galaxies, blasting
enemy ships all the way. He locked on to every target he saw, zappin'
em with one single shot. He took down a lot of bad guys, and I mean a
lot. Eventually he arrived at Fortuna, where he saw giant robot
dinosaurs, and mechanical fish that looked like tuna!
"Alright
little robots, prepare to meet your match! I'm Fox Mcloud, and just
so you know, I take down enemy forces for CASH!" said Fox. Fox
dropped a huge nova bomb on all the robots and monsters, and left
them all in a pile of rubble. Surely now, there was light at the end
of the tunnel. But no, no, no there wasn't! Although the monsters
were destroyed, down came their leader, amidst all the grass,
flowers, and flora, sprang out a giant and fierce MONARCH DODORA! The
bio-weapon possessed two living heads! And the creature raced around
like mad, as if it needed meds!
"Alright giant robot!"
said Fox with a determined look. "You're nothing but a chump, a
bucket of bolts, and a SHNOOK!" Fox dropped yet another nova
bomb, but this was his last! He used it swiftly, efficiently, and
fast! But alas, the monarch dodora wasn't done yet! He still had his
robotic stomach, and one remaining head, each of them seperate,
hopping around, and the stomach looked well fed. So Fox did what any
sensible Lylat system Arwing warrior would do, he brought out the
twin lasers, and blasted that monarch dodara to smithereens, and when
he was done, off he flew! Monarch Dodara had been defeated, and Fox
was quite proud, that he came out unscathed, and never even
bleeded!
"Next stop is Sectors Y and Z! Then maybe I'll take
a break, and drink some iced tea!" thought Fox. Fox raced
through the sectors blasting the enemy bosses to bits, and their
cores. Along the way he stopped by a forest planet, and toasted some
smores! Then he gallantly liberated the peoples of Corneria, Fichina,
Katina, and Titania! I bet you can't repeat all those planet names,
can ya?
"Very soon, I'm gonna head for Venom! I'm on record
time too!" said Fox. But suddenly, whom should appear? But Star
Wolf, and his cohorts whom Fox dreaded with fear! Wolf O' Donnel was
up to his old tricks again!
"Andross has ordered us to take
you down!" said Leon. But Fox locked on to all the targets,
proving Wolf O' Donnel
was a peon! After finishing the Star Wolf
team off with more twin-lasers, Fox headed straight for Venom,
shooting down enemy ships, just like that old game, Space
Invaders!
"I'm comin' for ya Andross!" said Fox. He
entered Venom's atmosphere in the nick of time, carefully avoiding
the Venom Sea's toxic radioactive slime! He skillfully avoided many
boulders and barrels, and all kinds of nefarious traps and perils!
When suddenly he saw the entrance to Andross's lair up ahead! Fox
knew that Andross wanted him dead!
He boosted his ship right into
the secret entrance of the lair! Andross didn't suspect this move,
was it fair? Fox performed many barrel rolls, and avoided many traps!
When suddenly he found himself and his arwing in a place full of
swirling colors and lights! He was familiar with this enviornment,
for it was the setting of all of the Fox Versus Andross fights!
"BWAHAHAHAA! You will die, just like your father!" said
Andross.
"My father was one cool dude, he could fly, dance,
and sing! I might go so far as to compare him with Elvis, the King!
But anyway, Andross, you're going down! Cuz I'm good and you're evil,
duh, no need to frown!" said Fox.
"BWAHAHAHA! You will
die, just like your father" said Andross.
"Uhh...you're
a broken record, but that's just fine! I'll take you out right now,
you greedy power hungry swine!" said Fox. Fox battled Andross
vigerously zapping him with lasers and taking out both his evil
sinister eyes of doom. But then Andross tried to use telekenesis, and
he pulled a dirty trick! He made all the blocks look like
cheese!
"CHEESE!" shouted Fox. Fox flew right into all
the blocks that Andross was telekenetically attacking Fox with,
thinking they looked like delicious blocks of cheese! Suddenly Fox
realized his ship was in need of repair! He woke up from his cheese
fit, and found he was in quite the predicament, with only one wing!
My oh my, what a terrible thing!
"Alright!" said Fox.
"I've used up my last nova bomb, so I know what I'll do! Your
name rhymes with gross, so I'll use THIS to defeat you!" said
Fox. Fox pushed a button and sent out a Super Stinky Cheese Bomb
right into Andross's mouth!
"NOOOOOO!" shouted Andross.
"I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!". Then Fox destroyed Andross's
core brain, got a wing repair, and survived the mission, without
going insane. He flew out up above, and entered a prison like room.
He departed from his Arwing, and looked around. He saw his
friendscage, and Falco was especially steaming with rage. Fox set all
his friends free, and recovered the arwings! They all blasted off
back to Corneria, thankful for Fox's save! When they got there, Fox's
friends had a few questions!
"How'd you save us?" asked
Krystal.
"With CHEESE!" replied Fox.
"HOORAY FOR
CHEESE!" shouted the Star Fox team in unison!
That's
the story, of how Fox defeated Andross with cheese. Now I bid you
farewell, and check your fur
for fleas!
Note: I may make even more Fox becomes addicted to cheese sequels, but chronologically, this was the final episode.
---------------------------------------------- THE END -----------------------------------------------