Disclaimer: I do not own anything
Note: This is my first SongFiction. The song is Taylor Swift's Speak Now. Because I have changed the point of view to a different gender, I had to change the lyrics a bit, plus, I cut it short, because the words all repeat themselves in the end. Also, I know I have said in other fanfics that Snape was invited to Lily's wedding, but I just couldn't make that work, so yeah. Enjoy, and reviews would be very helpful!
I am not the kind of boy
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
I walked in about half an hour before the service. I was dressed nicely in a black tux to blend in with the invited guests. I think some people noticed me lurking in the shadows of the church, but I didn't care. I needed to get this over with…I needed to see you.
But you are not the kind of girl
Who should be marrying the wrong boy
I lurked around the halls and peeked into every room. I ran into a few people who seemed to remember me from classes at Hogwarts. In the eye of a certain room, there stood James, talking to his parents. He was dressed in a way every man on earth would be jealous of him. I'll never forget that huge grin plastered to his face, knowing he had won your heart and would keep it forever. I remember feeling like something had grabbed my heart and writhed every happy feeling I had out of it.
I sneak in and see your friends
And your snotty little family all dressed in pastel
I found your dressing room and waited outside of it a few feet away. When I heard voices coming towards the inside of your room, I leapt behind a huge pot of lilies. There you were. Your dress was pure white and defined every little part of you in it's own special way. It was beautiful. You were beautiful. Filing out of the room behind you was your sister, Petunia. Her dress was atrocious. It was quite large and she looked as if she were to fall over at any point. I just didn't understand how you two could ever be related. She was just so dull, but every part of you made me feel…free
And you are yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room wearing a gown shaped like a pastry
You turned around to yell at Petunia for almost spilling her glass of water on your dress. You had every right to yell at her. She looked as if she almost purposely tried to spill her drink on you. She was probably jealous, having her younger sister marry only a year after she did. You looked older than Petunia, though, more sophisticated, more mature, more beautiful…
This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Out of a door near where I'm watching appeared James. He has this sparkle in his eyes that you lacked in yours. Did you really love him despite that glow of meaning that surrounds James? You strode over to him and hugged him. He kissed you on the cheek and went to say hello to your family. You watched him with great detail, wondering how your parents would react. They reacted differently than how they reacted to me. They treated him with respect and talked to him like he wasn't a wizard, like he wasn't anything like me, which is half true. Did you ever expect to be wedded to him? The man you despised almost throughout all of your years at Hogwarts?
Where I stand and say, don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
You've grown up with me, shared your deepest thoughts and secrets with me, laughed and cried with me, walked across riverbeds with me. We did everything together while we both secretly hated James and everything he did. We understood everything about each other, until now. I don't understand why you chose him. Don't say yes today. Don't fall under his spell when he agrees to care for you in sickness and in health. After all those times he almost killed me at Hogwarts, you have agreed, as well, to care for him. Why, Lily? Why?
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out, and they said "Speak Now"
I know what he's going to say. The priest will say, "Speak now, or forever hold peace." No one ever dares to speak up, but I feel I must. Will I? I'm not sure. I love you, and you love James. You are happy with James. But does James love you? Too many questions. I will speak up. I will. I have to. I must.
Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march
You proceed to the back with your father as James heads up to the front on the church. You are so happy that it is finally time, you almost prance to the back of the church. You are handed a bouquet of lilies as the organ starts to play the initial tune. I start to walk along the outer edge of the church to get a better view, but I am stopped in my tracks…
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by you handsome husband-to-be
You float down the aisle like a pageant queen
You take lovely and petit steps down the long, white carpet. In your right arm, you hold your father's arm, and in your left, you hold your bouquet. I can't take my eyes off of you. Your long, red hair in tight curls bead down your dress and stop right above your laced bow. After a few minutes of awe and staring, you reached James and took his arm. I couldn't help but wish it were me you were promising to love forever, to hold forever, and keep forever. Forever and always.
But you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?
Did you ever think of me? Are you going to give any recognition at the end of the service? Are you going to thank me for your childhood in front of everyone? For always being there for you? You probably won't. You probably won't remember me…ever again.
Don't say yes, run away now. I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door.
Don't wait or say a single vow. You're time is running out and they said speak now.
I can't bear to think of the moment when I plan to stand up in front of everybody. I will make a fool of myself. But then again, I won't be making a fool of myself. I will make a point to you and leave you with a cold memory, just like you did to me.
I hear the preacher say
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
I can't breathe. He said it. Time flew by so fast. I barely heard you speak your vows to each other. Maybe I should back out now…no. I can't. After I had made up my mind, it felt like I had no control over any part of my body, as if my legs had a mind of their own now.
There's the silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me
All I heard was buzzing in my ears, but no one was talking at all in the church. In fact, it was silent. The only thing I could hear was my heart beating a million miles per hour. I slowly walked to the middle of the aisle and heard you speak so softly, "Severus…"
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But, I'm only looking at you
My voice cracked and I broke down. Tears, streaming down my face. I said only a few words; it was all I could manage. "I love you."
Sorry, for cutting it short, but I think this story really has meaning when I break it off here. Thanks for reading!
~Can'tGetEnoughPotter
