Disclaimer: I don't own any of these things! I really would go into the big spiel about not being related to the company, but good lord, these are four completely different fandoms! My continued warning will be that this entire fic will not make much sense, includes homosexuality, questionable behavior, alcohol, crossovers, and cursing.

This entire fic will be based on a questionnaire meme in The Muse Bunny dealing with shipping. As such, there's... a lot of pairings in this fic. Five specifically, but vague inclusions outside of them. Each chapter is one of the questions, thus the congruency between chapters will be pretty much nil after the 2nd chapter, and there will be a total of 35 chapters. My writing the fic is mostly out of pure boredom; other people aren't making a fic out of the meme as far as I know. If you want "spoilers" for the chapters, then you could totally find my post for the meme on The Muse Bunny. But that's only if you're that crazy.

I do want you guys to realize: I don't usually do this. I rarely ship even idly, and I actually hate fics where a pairing has children. On top of that, I hate most crossovers.

Question #1: What couples do you ship?

Perhaps this is the sort of acceptance Tenshinhan really needed.

Everyone endures a shock to their identity by some point if they live long enough. Tenshinhan lived long enough to regret his death twice, and one of those times actually was his death. He often would lie in his bed wide awake, even though he was tired from a full day of training, just thinking on that regret and its purpose. Not meditating. Just laying there, thinking.

The recollection of that regret will spike with a sweet pain in his chest that ran through his neck, climbing up the ascent made by the futon pillow, to finally spread out behind his face, congregating some behind his three eyes before diffusing up into his bare scalp. This occurred when Lunch (or Kushami) entered the room and his third eye would happen to fall on her. But when she crawled into bed with him and cuddled up to his scarred and muscled form, when he felt her softness and heat, soft even when Kushami, hot even when Lunch, that pain would ache into him as if in a death grip, but forced to let go as that softness and warmth swept over him. It was always, always, always defeated.

The regret of a three-eyed man was very strong, he decided, but the hope of two women who lived as one was unmatched, at an entirely different level. Just as he could not defeat Son Goku in the art of battle, he couldn't beat her in the art of life and love. And he was just beginning to really accept that he would need to learn from her to continue in strength as he'd learned from his defeats from Goku.

That struggle of pain vs. pleasure reenacted itself again as Lunch, with her purple curls bouncing, changed clothes in their room and slipped into the bed with him. When it predictably ended, he turned his head and smiled at her.

She giggled. "What are you thinking about?"

"Many things," he answered vaguely. He could give vague answers to Lunch. Kushami would've yelled at him and hit him with a pillow before giving him a forceful kiss.

Lunch merely continued smiling softly back at him. "I've been thinking about a lot of things today, too."

"Like what?"

"The others. Their families. Good things and bad things that have happened. Things I've done that I don't know. I think I went out somewhere last night while I was transformed, but I don't know where I went. I thought about that, too, especially since I don't think I told you where I went, either."

"No, you didn't. I wasn't even aware that you were out."

"I must have snuck out again. I wonder why I did that?"

Tenshinhan laughed and nuzzled her neck, enjoying the contentment swarming through him. "Who knows? I'm sure if it's important I'll find out, one way or another."

She giggled again. "I just hope it didn't follow her back."

"If there is trouble, I'll take care of it like I always do." He looked at her with a smile. "Right?"

She smiled back. "Right."

.-.-.

Tsunade lost the bet?

No, she was sure she won. She was sure that because Jiraiya just had to tempt fate and disregard his own personal safety, she was the last one of her old team. The last of the Sannin. She was sure that Pain had finished him off completely, for good, forever. She was sure the fool was dead, defeated by the leader of the Akatsuki, Pain.

But here was the stupid big perverted idiot standing before her, looking as beaten, battered, bloody, and half-drowned as he ever did when he was caught sneaking into bathhouses. Alive. Very, very alive. Almost perversely alive. He grinned a wide grin and scratched his head.

"Were you worried?"

She wanted to hit him so badly that her balled fists shook enough for an earthquake. Her eyes stung as they reddened up with her anger. Her lip bled as she constrained her screams of rage with a clamped jaw restricting her flesh with her own teeth. Yet despite all of this fury, when she stepped towards him, her arms came down and around his shoulders, her face came forward to shove her pouring tears into his breast, and her mouth released strong, shaky sobs.

Tsunade wanted to scream every obscenity her burning mind could think straight up into his face with super-heated dragon breath, but she never had the chance as her tongue kept looping, "You're alive, you're alive, you're alive, you're alive..." Jiraiya's own hands finally fell on her back and stayed there.

Her will triumphed before long and she was able to pull herself upright. "You bastard, I thought you were dead," she sobbed out. It wasn't as loud or angry as she wanted it to be, but it will do for now.

"I told you that you would loose the bet, didn't I?" He said with a broad, tired smile.

She felt another sob come as she saw that smile, but she lucked out with her strong rise of anger that allowed her to punch him square in the jaw instead. The force was enough to send him into an adjacent wall and crack a hole into it. He didn't go through it and into the next wall, though, so it wasn't as strong as she'd hoped.

He jerked his head forward from where it'd gone through that hole and rubbed it, then checked to see if his jaw was still attached. He managed to say, "I guess I deserved that. Not as bad as the time you caught me peeking, though."

"I should give you another one for being so stupid!"

"I don't think I could handle another one." That might have been true, but he was looking up at her and trying to smile again. "Forgive me?"

"Forgive you?! After what you just did?!"

"You're too old to be keeping a grudge, you know. It's not good for your health. You don't want to turn into a demon after you die, do you?"

Oh that definitely had to be enough. She stomped over, a storm brewing around her from the pure, raw violence of her anger, as if all the things she was going to do to him were buzzing around her like a thick swarm of black flies. Each step was stronger and more fierce, and surely any man being approached in such a way would be cowering and begging for mercy. The last step, that ended right where Jiraiya's tattered robes on the ground began, was the strongest and shook the ground below it threateningly. The force was so great that all of the emotion poured out with the energy, sapping and draining itself from her at extreme speed, making her numb and weak all at once. She fell to her knees with the suddenness of being shut off, now matching his eye line with her own. Both were grounded at the same level.

Every spiteful thought had run out with that last stomp, and she felt a little empty. She stared at him a moment wondering why she was angry, feeling a little dejected from her rage flying away so easily. Words eventually came through her mouth that satisfied her.

"You owe me a drink, you bastard."

Perhaps he did actually tense up, because he softened when hearing that. His dumb grin had a hint of smart-ass in it, and he said, "No, you owe me. The bet was everything you had, remember?"

"Bastard," she said, and after a long moment, pulled herself back up to standing, held out a hand to pull him up as well, and they began walking towards the nearest bar. The air between them that usually would be filled with their endless bickering was comfortably silent for once. It did not sybolize distance caused by Orochimaru or Dan or any of the usual problems. They were close. There was no room for words, for the space was eradicated as their shoulders touched each other. The drinking was similarly silent, only with some light reminiscing.

Their night was, overall, without words, because their words were the kind that pad the area with vexing, something that which was unneeded, and other words were the ones that really hurt, which had already served its purpose. It was not always silent, but their mouths didn't have room to make words.

.-.-.

Obsession could take someone over and make them something completely different. Kakashi was obsessed, but he didn't act any different, so he supposed that he was already obsessed over Rin from long ago.

It was a little like his Icha Icha books, if you want to make a comparison. Whenever he had the chance, he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his masked face into her nape like a happy dog that found its master again. This usually made her laugh and kiss him on the cheek right where his mask ended. This was a small treat to him, and he greedily and thankfully accepted it like the loyal, contented mutt he was, usually still begging for more. Sometimes he wanted to savor her, instead; to take his time. He was very careful to make sure the moment wasn't going to be spoiled when he was in this mood. Once he mused that he would have shut his eyes and ears if Naruto threatened to reveal about the shape of her breast to obtain the bell.

Very loyal, very faithful, every moment he can filling it with her. There were, of course, times that she was busy, so he might have to read those times instead. That's okay; he still liked his books quite a bit. Maybe he enjoyed them more because of this. And his team still provided him entertainment at times. He wasn't that much later to meetings than before, but he felt he had better excuse now. He didn't really need to make up excuses as much anymore. Of course, he still absolutely did, because that was just habit by this point. The students didn't react any differently, either; maybe they would have freaked out if he had, instead, told them the truth? Eh well, who cares about things like that, hmm?

Moving in with each other seemed like the most logical thing ever to him; it meant less energy and time wasted getting to her apartment from his, and he could get the optimum amount of exposure to her without hindering her own schedule. Luckily for him Rin was more capable of thinking outside of love's clouding rationalization, insisting that they take it slow and relearn each other. She did eventually move in, but only after they were reintegrated substantially into each other's lives that they were fully compatible. The move made his place substantially more crowded, but it was otherwise painless.

The bigger bed made it even more crowded, and they spoke in increasingly more frequency about getting a bigger apartment. With how hard it could be to move around the apartment (despite Rin's hospital-obsessive cleanliness) they were coming to understand that it was either get rid of things or move, because going back to a smaller bed, although delightfully snug, simply wasn't an option considering how much they used it (Kakashi had considered getting a large mirror as well since it wouldn't be in the way on the ceiling).

They were having one such discussion (about the apartment, not about the mirror) that was starting to turn more into an argument, which Kakashi disliked. But Rin was in an inconsolable mood and insisted that they needed a change. "I've had it up to here with cleaning and sorting things away when there simply isn't enough room! If we can't get rid of all this junk, we need to move; the bedroom is too small, anyway."

"I'll agree on that last part," he answered carefully, "But there isn't exactly a great market for apartments in Konoha, you know. Can we even afford to move?"

"We'll just have to manage it!" she growled and crossed her arms, "But if I have to put away another scroll only to find that every single space has been filled up by some other object, I'll scream."

He glanced around at their surroundings. Indeed, their living space really was proof that the universe abhors a vacuum, as for every item out on the floor or occupying a tabletop, chair, or counter, there were ten items stuffed in a storage space simply to keep it out of the way. And the worst thing was they quite often needed almost every object they owned, so they'd frequently have to dig out what they needed and start the whole process of reorganizing over again.

Finally Kakashi nodded in acceptance. "We'll need to get a new place sometime anyway, right? I'll start looking."

Rin's bad mood swung away like a heavy pendulum over to the opposite side of the spectrum and she nearly jumped into Kakashi's lap. Not that this behavior wasn't nice—having her in his lap, anyway, because he certainly wasn't going to complain about that—but Rin's attitude was usually so temperate.

.-.-.

Okay, so it took some hard pressing and the reemergence of Klaus' long lost friends to get him to come around about the marriage, but perhaps he was somewhat consoled knowing that this union would bring fantastic luck in future offspring. After all, the Heterodynes almost always breed true, and Agatha herself was a powerful spark in her own right, similarly lacking her ancestry's violent streak in the same way Bill and Barry did, despite her mother's heritage.

Besides, he could gain some very good benefits from this.

At this moment, however, Gilgamesh and Agatha were on Castle Wulfenbach—perhaps for the first time since she'd been taken aboard as "Agatha Clay"—and were walking down its corridors towards a lab, Zoing and the goldfish at their heels. They seemed to be deep in some sort of debate regarding whether or not a colony of phosphoric mayflies could be harnessed to power a music box.

"Excuse me." A harsh, female voice demanded. Von Pinn stepped out into the path before them, her head high and her monocle set perfectly on her cheekbone.

Agatha's brows furrowed and she regarded her coldly. Useful Von Pinn may be, but tolerable was a different matter. In truth, Agatha was still having difficulty trusting her at all after what she had done to her adoptive parents, Punch and Judy, but she tried to set this aside with knowledge that she did mean well, and that Gil was pretty much raised by her and was likely her favorite among those she helped rear in the floating castle. Gil regarded her with the cautious but warm respect one might grant their overbearing grandmother.

"I have been sent to inform you about the status of the materials you requested," she continued without prompting, "The brass brackets will be late. The specific cold iron you asked for is out of stock but they're doing their best to allocate it. And the shipment of grape jelly has come in today, all three thousand pounds of it. It was accompanied by the backordered tar from last month. Is this satisfactory?"

Gil smiled. "That should do very well, Von Pinn. How late will those brackets and the iron be?"

"The brackets should only be another day; they were attacked and lost a wheel. The iron is estimated another three weeks before they get it in their own storehouses."

"Cancel off that iron, then. I can get it elsewhere." He turned to Agatha. "That is, if you think the Mongolian Lizard tribe will ship this far."

Agatha shrugged in indifference. "I don't see why not. If nothing else, we can supply the ships. Those new fliers should run a pretty good distance in a short time. If I could get the prototype away from Wooster, I could probably rig up a machine to mass produce them."

"Very well, I will convey your orders." Von Pinn declared before walking out as if hovering a centimeter over the floor, her back perfectly straight at all times. Agatha sighed in her wake.

Gil gave her a small smile. "I'm very glad that you're getting used to all this. You adjust very well, you know?"

"I'm not going to let her ruin my mood," Agatha responded quickly, "I've got more important things to worry about. Like that dimensional door we've been dismantling and examining. Right?"

"Yes, that's true. I'm very excited about what will come of that. I'm sure Theo would find it utterly fascinating, too, since it incorporates a lot of Mongfish signature design."

"I guess he can take a look at it, too… after I get to rip into it!"

"Surely you don't intend to go into it alone?"

Agatha looked smug. "What if I did?"

"Come on, Agatha! If you don't at least let me in on it, I'm not going to let you use any of my tools."

"What?!"

"I mean it!"

Agatha resolved to a laugh. "I know you do… I was kidding, though."

A gruff voice popped out behind them without warning. "Mistress, de eediots haff gots into de klenk room. Oggie broke fife ov hyu leetle klenks."

Sigh. There's always something.

.-.-.

Roxas is Sora. Roxas doesn't remember. Without a heart. A Nobody.

…like I had a heart. It's kinda funny…

Axel has strange thoughts during that strange time of partial consciousness, drifting between wakefulness and sleep. Sometimes these thoughts follow him into and out of strange dreams… dreams where he died, dreams were he lost his heart, dreams where he was nobody and yet very important to be nobody. And Roxas was there. Roxas made those dreams a little less… hopeless.

When he finally wakes up, he shakes his head vigorously as if to fling off the sleep and strange thoughts like water from his red hair. Then he'd shamble around the room like a zombie until he got his coffee. In short order, Roxas would come in—Roxas always woke up first—and grouse at Axel about being an idiot because he did or was going to do something stupid.

Axel was halfway through his coffee this morning and Roxas still hasn't shown up to do the ritual. As he became more attentive and thus more aware of this, a sudden feeling of foreboding swept over him, like he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be able to do by laws of nature and the universe was working to correct the error. Since he wasn't entirely sure how to describe something like that (especially in the morning), he mumbled to himself, "Coffee's too strong."

"Yeah, I had it on the burner for too long."

Roxas' voice nearly made Axel jump out of his skin. Though it wasn't that graphic, he was sufficiently startled enough to lurch forward and spill his remaining coffee. He turned and glared at the youth.

The blonde shrugged. "Didn't mean to sneak up on you."

"Yeah, yeah…" Axel frowned and put the cup aside while he cleaned up the mess with a paper towel. Even though it was an accident, Axel felt silly, like he was fooled in a haunted house by the dark, quiet part before a stupid plastic skeleton pops out. Roxas was much younger than Axel, hardly old enough to buy cigarettes, but was confident and determined in personality. Probably the only thing that could be blamed on his age was his short fuse. Axel was quite different. When he was younger, he was almost stoic, even cold, and a great liar. But he became more laid back and generally a nicer, warmer guy as time went along, especially after he started hanging out with Roxas. He was still cocky as hell, and nearly everyone he knew insisted on telling him that… but that sort of change wouldn't happen around Roxas, would it?

Roxas was easily his best friend in the world. Well, perhaps more than that. Actually, almost definitely more than that.

Axel threw away the soggy paper towels and poured himself another cup of coffee, this time making sure to put plenty of cream and sugar in it. "So? What's on the agenda today, huh?"

"I have a few ideas." Roxas was looking at Axel with one of those smiles.

The redhead tilted his head, more than a little confused. After all, it was the morning. "I'm being serious."

"I am, too." The smile didn't drop until he started laughing. "Actually, I do have some ideas. There's a woman moving into the complex that needs help with carrying things."

"What? I don't feel like wasting my weekend carrying someone else's crap from a truck!"

"She's paying us for it."

"Well that's different! When's she needing us?"

"In about fifteen minutes."

Axel gulped down the entire cup. "That's not even enough time for a quickie."

He rolled his eyes. "Later! It's too early in the morning for that."

I'm so terribly unsuited for shonenai/yaoi, especially since I haven't played the game in so long (and I never finished it, either, so I'm going to be rather uncanon). I don't hate yaoi, but most pairings of it are pure stupidity. I'm just out of my element so bad with this whole fic.
But I actually made an update on a Friday! The Zeff fic will be updated soon, too; on the second page of that one and will likely post it up tomorrow.