Xander was suspicious.
Granted, it didn't take much for Xander to be suspicious of something. After all, he'd grown up on the Hellmouth. Just having been raised in Sunnydale was enough reason for him to distrust a variety of things. The government. Salesmen of any kind. Anyone who had ever expressed a desire to do fun naked things with the resident Zeppo.
Evil vampires who suddenly started being nice.
It was weird enough that Spike had started showing up for everything. Birthday parties, slumber parties, research parties. He was one big-time party crasher.
What was really strange was that the bleached vamp was being nice. He helped Dawn and Tara and even Willow with their homework. He'd offered to help fix the window he'd broken when Robo Girl had thrown him through it. Once, he showed up to a research party carrying a tray of assorted baked goods… and he hadn't even stolen all the jellies.
Spike was obviously trying to push his way into Xander's place in the group.
And what was with Spike and Buffy? Always patrolling together, dancing together, practically raising Dawn together. Is this what Joyce…Mrs. Summers… would've wanted for her daughters? A fangless vampire squirming his way into their affections?
Not that Buffy would ever feel that way about a soulless creep like Spike. No, it had to be all one-sided. Spike wanted Buffy.
That made total sense. Why else would Spike be hanging around, trying on the White Hat? Spike loved Buffy.
Which was a completely jerky thing to happen, if you think about it. After all, Spike had just gotten out of a majorly serious relationship, what, two years ago? And he was already macking on the first super-strong hottie that came around? Some eternal love!
Well, it makes sense, in a way. Spike can't love. Vampires…um, vampires without souls…can't love, right? (And Xander was still a bit suspicious of the ones withsouls.)
So this whole "love" thing, it must just be an obsession. Spike's obsessed with Buffy.
And who gave him permission to obsess over Xander's best friend…well, that's Willow…second…that's probably Spike, now…third best friend?
What right does Spike have to walk around in his sexy tight clothes and his jacket of billowy coolness, drinking warm beer with hot wings and living in a crypt? Who lives in a crypt, anyway? Bats? Isn't that a misnomer?
What sort of 200-year-old vampire doesn't have a nice cushy bankroll to fall back on? The kind who likes living in crypts, most likely. The kind who goes home every night…day…to a dusty, damp crypt and jerks off to thoughts of people's best friends, that's who!
It wouldn't be surprising if he had some sort of…Buffy shrine down there. Pictures, stolen clothing, blonde mannequin, the works.
He'd have to bring this to the Gang's attention. That's right…expose Spike for the donut-buying coat-wearing perv that he is.
After he helps fix that window.