A/N: ahoy there readers, I must warn you that there will probably be some things that do not line up with the show, and I apologize. I also do not own Supernatural or any of its character blah blah blah blah. . . . Thanks for taking the time read my fic. AND ON THAT NOTE: on with the story

"She's gone, its time to walk away." Cas said sympathetically.

"How can you say that? How dare you?" Dean shouted pathetically, banging his fists on the ground like a child. Her tiny body lay unmoving on the concrete floor, as it had for hours. Her festive outfit had been ruined by the pool of blood that now surrounded her; her pigtails destroyed, the blood disguising all of blonde that had once graced them.

"We need to leave before someone finds us" he urged, Dean turned to face him, his eyes were dry but the look in them spoke volumes.

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, did you know that?" he asked

"Yes Dean, I am aware that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. What I don't know is how that is relevant to our current situation."

"She's probably been staring at her presents for days, shaking the boxes and begging to be told what's inside, she probably still believes in Santa Claus, I bet she wrote him a letter, and was baking cookies with her grandma for tomorrow night, and-" his voice lapsed into silence, he couldn't bear to continue the rest of the sentence, because in doing so he would have to acknowledge it was all his fault.

"It's not your fault, you realize that right? You didn't come here intending to shoot her" Cas tried to reason with him, but to no avail as Dean got up and looked at him angrily

"But I did, I shot her, and by the time I realized it, it was too late, and I should've died along with her." The sentence ended without any of the fire it had begun with, and Dean sunk along with his words.

"I had to protect you, you weren't looking, it's my job to protect you." he thought back to when they arrived at the building, hunting some now irrelevant monster, he remembered how Dean had said he wanted to get it over quick so that he could find a Christmas present for Sammy. It must've been the reason that when he saw a figure come from around the corner he shot at it before really looking at it, he probably would've grinned at the successful thud if the hadn't heard the high pitched scream. He dropped his gun in shock, he stood dazed, as the actual monster approached, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to stop it. He most likely thought that he deserved all the torture that would've come, if Cas hadn't shot it before it ever reached him.

Dean didn't want to leave the body there, stating that he didn't want her parents to sit home all Christmas day worrying, and convincing themselves that she would be found alive, because she wouldn't. So Cas transported the body to hospital parking lot and left, making sure he was undetected. When he got back to the motel where Dean and Sam were staying for the hunt and the following holidays, he found that Dean hadn't returned yet. When Sam inquired Dean's whereabouts, Cas explained very calmly what had happened in the last few hours.

"Okay" Sam said very calmly "that still doesn't explain where Dean is though." Cas thought about that for a moment.

"I suppose you're right."

They both agreed that he was probably at some dive bar drinking away his worries and that it would be best if they didn't try to interfere. It was one of the longest nights either of them had ever experienced.

When dawn rolled around and he had yet to return, they decided it was time for them to go out search for him. They didn't need to look far, as Dean was collapsed in front of the door, when they picked him up to carry him inside he began to mumble "I lost the key to the door, I failed, I'm a failure and a murderer and I deserve to die, because I killed her Cas, I bet she asked Santa for a pony, all little girls want ponies, and I bet her daddy let her put the star on the Christmas tree, she looked like she was six. She was wearing penguin footie pajamas and bows in her hair, bowsCas, red and green bows, and I killed her, not some monster, me." He was sobbing uncontrollably into Cas' coat, but he had lapsed into unconsciousness by the time they go him into bed.

"I've uh, got to go do something I'll be back later" Cas informed Sam as he made his way to the door.

"Yeah, okay. Later, Cas." Sam called out as he shut the door.

Cas didn't return until early the next morning, and the sight he was greeted with was definitely not your average Christmas morning. Sam was just waking and Dean was nursing a bottle of whiskey. Definitely not your average Christmas.

"CAS! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Merry Kwanza! Kwanza isn't a holiday, never mind that last bit. Hey Cas what if Mary had had an abortion?" Sam laughed at the last bit. Then turned to Cas. "I'll take happy dunk dean over sad drunk Dean any day." Cas nodded in agreement wondering if it would last all day, he doubted it. "Well how about we just get presents over and done with" Sam suggested, and Dean's face dropped, but before he could say anything about not having a gift Cas interjected "okay let me go get deans gift for you, I'm not sure he'll be able to remember where he hid it" he then pretended to rummage through draw until he produced a poorly wrapped box. "Yep that's definitely Deans wrapping" Sam laughed. Sam had gotten Dean a cherry pie, an AC/DC CD and ten dollars, and Dean (Cas) had gotten Sam a pink hairbrush, a small plastic moose, and twenty dollars. Cas had not intended to be part of the gift exchange but received a gift from Sam (and Dean); a Mickey mouse tie. Dean got drunker and Sam sat quietly on his laptop, at around 3 p.m. Sam stood to leave, promising to be home before midnight. At around 4 Dean went from happy go lucky drunk dean, to drunken despair Dean, sobbing and going over everything that had happened that night. Cas didn't want to be seen as an intruder so he made a move to leave the room, but Deans voice stopped him.

"Please don't leave, I need you, please hold me." A sober Dean would have never requested this but Cas didn't think of that, he only rushed to hold his hunter, he wrapped his arms wrapped around the unnaturally cold man. Soon Dean turned to face the angel, his angel. Dean smelled like booze but that did nothing to deter Cas from kissing Dean's cheek as he drifted off to sleep in Cas' arms.

And that's how Sam found them the next morning, as he returned from his Christmas escapades.

A/N2: So this is supposed to be a one shot, but after I finished it, I realized that I kind of want to continue with it, so if you would read more chapters PLEASE tell me, or follow the story or whatever. Also, please review, because I like all authors, thrive off of approval ;)

AAAANNNDDDDD, we out.