Author's Note: I've never written Crack!fic before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. It was described to me as an unlikely, OOC sort of story, so I've done my best to comply. It certainly worked on me, as I was laughing my butt off the whole time I was writing this fic.

This is my submission as Beater 2 from Pride of Portree for the Round 8 Daily Prophet competition. Excluding Author's Note, the word count for this story is 477 out of the 500 word limit.

Unlikely Hero

Hushed voices and subtle stares followed the unlikely hero of the hour down the hallway.

"There he is!"

"I'm naming my firstborn child after him, regardless of gender!"

"So dreamy!"

Ron Weasley strode confidently into Potions class, leaning back in his seat with a cocky expression.

"What do you think you are doing, Mr. Weasley?" Snape said, looking as menacing as ever.

"Oh, just turning in my completed homework assignment, along with the extra credit." Ron replied casually, levitating the parchments over to Snape's desk with a flick of his wand.

"We'll see about that!" Snape snapped, pacing over to the desk, his eyes widening as he realized that Ron had indeed submitted original and well-written material.

Hermione and Harry rushed in late, and no one else in the classroom seemed to notice them at all. Snape was about to take points for lateness, but with a slight twist of his head, Ron seemed to convince him otherwise and the surly professor merely growled for them to open their books.

"Today we shall brew a Purifying Potion. This is a particularly...difficult...potion. I doubt any of you dunderheads have the brains...or the bollocks to make it correctly." Snape purred cruelly.

Ron merely stared back coolly as though to say: Challenge fucking accepted.

Hermione hung on Ron's every move as he mixed the potion, her eyes bright as starlight as she fawned over him and his excellent skill. Ron had been trying to tutor Hermione in perfecting potions, but it seemed that books could only teach so much, and Ron's natural skill seemed to outclass her at every turn as he effortlessly improved upon potions that had been around for centuries. There had been talk of Snape taking him on as an apprentice even though he was still only fifteen years old, which would make him the youngest apprentice in Hogwarts in over a century.

Harry ruffled his hair, looking at Ron with envy.

"I wish I could be half as brilliant as you are, mate!" he said emphatically. "I'm so lucky that you let me tag along, especially after you beat Voldemort at a game of chess and he willingly allowed himself to be imprisoned in Azkaban for eternity due to your sheer brilliance."

"Yeah, well, if he ever wants to break out, I'll be sure to challenge him to a rematch and beat him in half the time, leaving my afternoon open to spend time with a certain special witch!" Ron replied, raising his eyebrows suggestively at Hermione, who blushed furiously.

Ron leaned back in his seat and placed his hands behind his head with a demure smirk as Snape checked his potion and pronounced it a roaring success while both Gryffindor and Slytherin alike cheered him on for his sheer brilliance.

Oh yes, it was good to be Ronald Bilius Weasley.