If catnip were to be eaten

by KatKit441

* note- this takes place shortly after Bramblestar's storm* out of boredom, Firestar made it rain catnip, but was that such a good idea? now the warriors, kits, apprentices, and even Leaders and Deputies are going crazy and Squirrelflight can't stop braking the fourth wall! plus Brightheart has waaaaay too many kits! rated T just in case

1. If catnip were to be eaten

WARNING do not read this if you can not handle high levels of randomness

note- this takes place shortly after Bramblestar's Storm

Chapter 1- the catnip

-Starclan-

"why do the clans have to be so boring?" asked yellowfang

"maybe because I'm DEAD" said Firestar

"not that" said yellowfang

"but I can fix their boringness" whined Firestar

"how?" asked yellowfang

"CATNIP" Firestar yelled with joy. Then it started raining. Raining catnip.

-Thunderclan-

"ummmm Bramblestar" said Squirrelflight

"yes?" asked Bramblestar

"I think you should look at this"

Bramblestar stared up at the sky and his mouth was wide open

"it's a purple cloud, with catnip raining out of it… wait…. CATNIP?!" Bramblestar exclaimed. Then a piece of catnip fell into his mouth.

"Who wants some cookies?" he asked

"whats a cook-mfmumaha!" Squirrelflight asked as Bramblestar shoved catnip into her mouth, thinking catnip was cookies.

"Muffins?" she dazedly asked, because the catnip made her go crazy

before the end of the day, all of the clans were crazy because of the catnip.

the next day

"guys!" yelled squirrelflight

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"two things!" exclaimed Squirrelflight

"one, I am now Sassypants" said Squirrelflight

"no. I am Sassypants" said Sassypants (breaking the fourth wall)

"good" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"two I got an IPHONE, now i can take SELFIES" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

Chapter 2-Selfies and Soda (S&S)

"I was Bramblestar, now i am Mr. Taco" said Mr. Taco

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"Lionblaze" said

"poopbut?" asked Lionblaze

"You are now Poopbut" said

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"hey, good news" said Dovewing

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"I have three new kits!" exclaimed Brightheart

"I was gonna say Im gonna take a patrol to go get soda, becuz Im rich!" said Dovewing

"and Im now sodadove" said sodadove

*DING*

"oops, text from Sassypants" said sodadove

-meh Pants r so Sasy- wanna go get sum soda?

-Soda is dah duvz- O YA!

-meh pants r so Sasy- im ther

-Poopbut- poopbut?

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"how do you have a phone, Poopbut?" asked sodadove

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

*DING*

"another text" said sodadove

-da Taco Man- after da beer, do u wana get sum tacos?

-Soda is dah duvz- ya

-meh pants r so Sasy- ya

"LEMME TAKE A SELFIE" yelled Sassypants

"I HAVE TOO MANY KITS" yelled Brightheart

"i was Brightheart, but i have too many kits, so now im now Kitmaker" said Kitmaker

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"hey, Sassypants" said Sodadove

"yeah, sodadove?" asked Sassypants

"you like selfies, right?" asked Sodadove

"yes" said Sassypants

"lets be the S&S inc. (Selfies and Soda Incorperation)" said Sodadove

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"no." said both Sassypants and Sodadove at the same time

Chapter 3- Kitmaker's kits

"IVE GOT 20 NEW KITS!" yelled Kitmaker

"you are Brightheart jr."

"you are jr. Brightheart"

"you are jr. Brightheart jr."

"you are Brightheart jr. jr."

and Kitmaker kept naming her kits one by one

"you are Buttkit"

"you are Fishkit"

"you are ButtFishkit"

"you are Facekit"

"you are ButtFacekit"

"Buttkit?" asked Facekit

"yes Facekit?" asked Buttkit

"lets declare war on ButtFacekit" said Facekit

"ok, Facekit" said Buttkit

"lucky for us, I have a bunch of swords!" said Buttkit

"YAAAAAY" said Facekit

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"unlucky for you, I have waffles" ButtFacekit said evily

"NOOOOOO" said Facekit

"but we have swords" said Buttkit

"ButtFishkit is an evil genius, and he agreed to help me defeat you!" said ButtFacekit

"NOOOOOO" said Buttkit

"I'll help you, Buttkit and Facekit" said Fishkit

"YAAAAY" said both Buttkit and Facekit at the same time

"on one condition" said Fishkit

"what's that?" asked Facekit

"I'm our team leader"

"ok" said Facekit

"Im a demolitions expert" said Buttkit

"YAAAAY" said both Fishkit and Facekit at the same time

later, in the 'pie wars' as the kits called it

"they're very powerful" said Facekit on a walk-e talk-e

"Fishkit was wondering if you needed any grenades" said Buttkit on a walk-e talk-e

"grenades… GRENADES…. WHY WOULD WE NEED GRENADES?!" yelled Facekit

"yes, well…. he might have said help" said Buttkit

"oh, yes i neeed help" said Facekit

"he's on his way" said Buttkit, just then, Fishkit appeared in front of Facekit

"how did you get here so fast?" asked Facekit

"teleport" said Fishkit

"TELEPORT!?" screamed Facekit

"ButtFishkit is a geinius of weaponry, im a genius of other things, like teleports" said Fishkit

"OK" said Facekit slowly, just then grenades were appearing right over ButtFacekit and ButtFishkit as Facekit and Fishkit were teleporting back to their secret base underneath the nursery

"you teleported grenades right over ButtFacekit and ButtFishkit" said Fishkit

"yes" said Buttkit

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

chapter 4- tacos and deputy problems

-Starclan-

"I shall make it rain tacos" said Yellowfang

"YAAAAY" said Firestar

-Thunderclan-

"ITS RAININ' TACOS, ITS RAININ' TACOS, ALL ALONG THE STREETS!" said Mr. Taco

"IM DEPUTY! YAAAAAAY! NONE OF THE WARRIORS FANS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BRAMBLESTAR, BECUZ I LUVED HIM THEN I HATED HIM AND NOW I LUV HIM AGAIN!" yelled SassyPants (breaking the fourth wall again)

"who's bramblestar?" asked Mr. Taco

"idk" said Sassypants

"I hear Sassypants is your deputy" said a mysterious cat

"Yes, but Y DONT I KNOW U? I KNOW EVERYONE!" asked Mr. Taco

"I am DATFACEDOE and I am here to take over deputy from Sassypants" said DatFaceDoe

"you are now my deputy, and you shall always be my deputy" said Mr. Taco

"WHAT?!" screamed Sassypants

"HE'S MY DEPUTY!" yelled Mr. Taco

"O" said Sassypants

Mr. Taco ate a taco

"IM A CANNIBAL!" yelled Mr. Taco.

"good to know" said Sodadove

chapter 5- lightning and things

-2 months after the taco rain-

"I have a good feeling about this" said Mr. Taco

"but it's a storm" said Sassypants

"it could finally rain tacos again" said Mr. Taco

"yeah, what he said" said Sodadove

"oh… that makes sense" said Sassypants

later

"why is there flashy stuff in the flying grey cotton candy?" asked Mr. Taco

"why is there flying grey cotton candy?" asked Sassypants

"DO NOT QUESTION THE TACO GODS" yelled Mr. Taco

"it's flying grey cotton candy, the taco gods have nothing to do with it" said Sassypants

"oh….. DO NOT QUESTION THE COTTON CANDY GODS!" yelled Mr. Taco

"ok" said Sassypants

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"guys, Starclan is sending us a lightning storm" said Sodadove

"wait...uh-oh" said Mr. Taco

"and I'm Dovewing" said Dovewing

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled everyone in the clan

"why is Thunderclan acting so weird?" asked Dovewing

"WE'RE POTATOECLAN" yelled Mr. Taco

"umm…." said Dovewing

Mr. Taco shoved some catnip into her mouth

"sorry, I think I accidentally ate something weird" said Sodadove

"guys, i think the flashy stuff is angry at us" said Sassypants, just then a flash of lightning hit Mr. Taco

"asdkerf" said Mr. Taco

"umm…" said Sassypants

"cakle dom-dom" said Mr. Taco

"poopbut?" asked Poopbut

"fogtrex fom tee" said Mr. Taco

"pom torf dex" said Poopbut

"ek-ek fom tee sor mopten" said Sodadove

"what… is…. happening?" asked Sassypants

"oh, I speak lightning-struck Mr. Taco" said Sodadove

"and apparently so does Poopbut" said Sodadove

"yex temb" said Mr. Taco

"ef kay" said Poopbut

"yong borp" said Sodadove

"sdusn fulg" said Poopbut

"yeng" said Mr. Taco

"khel baunk" said Poopbut

"YENG" screamed Mr. Taco

"he said it's wearing off" said Sodadove

"yes, yes i did" said Mr. Taco

"Im gonna walk by your taco, and steal all of it's marinara sauce" said Sassypants

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Mr. Taco, then he fainted