For The Last Poison Appleas a part of the Christmas Fic Exchange on HPFC. Merry Christmas!
Do they know it's Christmas?
Everyone was laughing, smiling and telling each other jokes. It made Pansy sick. Did they not realise that this was the first Christmas without certain family members, certain friends and certain teachers? Did they not realise that people that had once been alive would not be here to celebrate along with them this Christmas.
Pansy hadn't wanted to return to Hogwarts to repeat her seventh year, but her Aunt had insisted upon it, despite Pansy already being of age. That was something else that Pansy hated about this Christmas in particular, the fact that her parents were no longer here. She had never realised how much she looked forward to her mother's Christmas assortment of candy and chocolate, all hand made by her mother and not the house elf, or the Christmas card that her father made himself, complete with a ludicrous picture of a Christmas tree on the front. None of that came this year, just a simple letter from her Aunt wishing her a Happy Christmas. Pansy wished that she had gone home once for Christmas in the seven – now eight – years that she had been at the castle instead of choosing to stay there in hopes of managing to seduce Draco under the mistletoe.
Draco she thought bitterly, what a pathetic excuse for a human. He had robbed her of precious time she could've been spending with her parents, time that had been cut short because her parents chose to fight for Hogwarts during the war, time that had been cut short because of Voldemort and his followers. Pansy felt repulsed to be a Slytherin now. She wished more than anything that she could take off the Slytherin green and replace it with the Hufflepuff yellow, or the Ravenclaw blue, she even hated it to the extent that she wished that she could replace it with Gryffindor red. Every time she, or any other Slytherin passed other students in the corridors, they would stop and stare, knowing that the Slytherins were the cowards who had abandoned Hogwarts during the war for their own safety. Pansy was disgusted at the way that she had behaved during the war. She should've stayed and fought alongside her parents, but she was too weak, too scared and too selfish to do so.
It was strange what losing one's family could do to a person.
Pansy stood up abruptly. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand to see everyone's happy faces smiling as they pulled Christmas Crackers and told each other the corny jokes that resided inside them.
She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she stalked with her head held high to the end of the Great Hall and out of the doors into the Entrance Hall behind her. She made her way towards the foot of the staircase that lead up to the Astronomy tower. It had been her haven throughout the year so far. Whenever she felt sad or alone she would venture up there and think for a while. She would think about her parents, about how life would be different if there was no war, about how much time she had missed spending with them, about how she went from having everything to having nothing.
As Pansy rounded the last bend in the spiralling staircase, she stopped in her tracks, shocked. There was someone already sitting at the top of the Astronomy tower.
"Granger?" Pansy said incredulously, squinting in the half-light to make sure that the bushy hair actually belonged to Hermione Granger and not some first year up here to take in the peacefulness and serenity of the night. The girl turned around, revealing her identity to indeed be that of Hermione Granger.
"Parkinson," Hermione said in surprise, "What are you doing up here?"
"I could ask you the same question," Pansy said, shrugging slightly. She had to say, Granger had been one of the nicest people to her at the school since it had reopened for the new school year. While everyone else kept a wide berth and whispered about Pansy behind their hands, Granger would nod at Pansy every time they passed in the corridors. It was just this little gesture of acknowledgement that really made Pansy respect Granger more than Granger obviously respected her. It was as if that little nod told Pansy that she was not alone in dealing with the aftermath of the war.
"I'm just thinking," Hermione said, "You're welcome to join me," she moved sideways slightly to make room for Pansy on the bench she was sitting on.
"What are you thinking about?" Pansy asked curiously, sitting down next to Hermione.
"Absent friends," she said, looking out across the dark grounds, "You?"
"My parents," Pansy said, "It's my first Christmas without them."
Hermione looked sideways at Pansy sympathetically, "Mine too."
"Your parents died as well?" Pansy asked softly.
"No," Hermione said, "I put a memory charm on them both and sent them to Australia. I tried to find them over the summer, but failed. I don't even know if they're still alive."
"At least you have a small glimmer of hope. Mine are dead and gone," Pansy said miserably. Pansy jumped as she felt Hermione place her hand on her shoulder.
"It must be hard for you," Hermione said, looking at Pansy with sad eyes. Pansy looked at Hermione with a confused expression on her face.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Pansy asked, "I've been horrible to you for the whole time we've known each other."
"I don't believe in treating people the way that they treat you," Hermione said simply with a shrug, "that and we've been through more than most of the people at this school. We've shared the experience of living in a War, we brought down Voldemort, we both returned for our eighth year. We're not that different, you and me."
Pansy felt the first smile in months crack her face, "You really think that?"
"Of course," Hermione said, "I don't think you're a coward for not fighting with us that night Pansy, I think that you were sensible in a way. While it's all well and good to fight for your cause, sometimes not fighting is smarter and most definitely safer."
"You would've made a great Ravenclaw," Pansy said with a small laugh.
Hermione smiled, "The sorting had considered putting me in Ravenclaw, but it settled on Gryffindor instead. I guess I had too much daring, nerve and chivalry."
"What about you?" Hermione asked, "Did the Sorting Hat consider putting you elsewhere?"
"No," Pansy said miserably, "I'm a Slytherin through and through."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Pansy," Hermione said, "It's who you are."
Pansy felt tears welling in her eyes, nobody had ever been this kind to her about being a Slytherin. To her there were only two perspectives; the first being that all Slytherins were evil and the second being that all Slytherins were superior. Not once had anyone told her that because the Sorting Hat had immediately sorted her into Slytherin that it was who she was.
"So," Hermione said, "Why did you come up here?"
"I couldn't stand seeing everyone's happy faces in the Great Hall. It's like they don't realise that it's the first Christmas after the war and that we're missing all these friends and family members."
"Trust me, Pansy," Hermione said, "The ones in the Great Hall are the ones that haven't lost anybody."
"Yeah," Pansy scoffed, "I figured that much. I guess it just goes to show that you really don't know what you've got until it's gone." Hermione nodded in understanding to show that she was listening, "You know, I was thinking earlier when I was up here, do you think that they even know that it's Christmas now that they're dead?"
As soon as Pansy looked up to see what Hermione's reaction to this statement was, she felt warm lips on her own. Pansy struggled with what she was feeling for a few seconds, before pulling away from the kiss.
"Granger, did you just kiss me?" She asked incredulously, still unsure whether she had enjoyed the kiss or not.
"You seem like you've had a tough year," Hermione said, wiping her lips, "I just wanted to show you that not everyone hates you."
"You mean…" Pansy said, "You love me?"
"In a nutshell, yes," Hermione said, "And I know you love me too, or else why would you have given me hell over all of those years."
With that statement, realisation washed over Pansy, she did love Hermione; all of the teasing and the ridiculing that she had put Hermione through over the years was because she was jealous, jealous of the Weasley boy because he and Hermione were destined to be together. It was with that statement that Pansy realised who she was, and she was not that perfect pure blood Slytherin girl, she wasn't going to abide by the rules anymore because that's what she felt was right. She was going to be who she actually was for a change and maybe, just maybe teach others to do the same.
"Hermione," she said, the name feeling weird on her lips for the first time. Hermione looked up in shock at hearing her name from the Slytherin's lips.
"Yes," she said, looking at Pansy with wide eyes.
"Would you walk with me to the Slytherin common room?" Pansy asked tentatively.
Hermione's face broke into a warm smile, "I would love to, Pansy."
She held out her hand and Pansy took it in hers and for the first time since her parents' death, Pansy felt happy.
AN: This is my first Femmeslash story so I hope it wasn't crap.
Also, before I forget, in 2013 every week I'll be gifting someone a fic of their choice. All you have to do is PM me before all the spots are taken! What to do is on my profile under "GIVING BACK IN 2013" I'd love it if some of you could help me fill up my spots!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
DFTBA,
Best Wishes
~The Original Horcrux~